Anonymous wrote:All the time. I also open his mail. He lost the right to open his mail when our insurance cards expired, he knew that they had expired, and did not bother opening the new ones to give me mine. I have a compounded medication that I have to make a special trip for and can't afford without insurance. He knew I was going to pick up my medication and did not give me the new insurance card. I was livid when I found out and I revoked his mail privileges.

So when you need up & do something that makes him angry, does he get to revoke one of your privleges?

Socks (you only have to get rid of one!) and underwear, definitely. Also, sometimes clothing that he seems to have held onto too long. If it looks worn and holey, it has to go. I try to get him to trash it first. I tell him that he's representing the family and should dress accordingly. Meanwhile - we are no one! I just think it's a matter of pride.

Yep. I cull his clothes all the time. He's actually pretty grateful. I'm not his mom and don't mother him in any other ways, but I'm great with clothes and decorating. DH loves all the clothes in his closet and feels like himself when he wears them. I toss things that aren't fitting well or are worn out. He's pretty thrilled he never has to think about it. Sometimes I'm frustrated finding him clothes (he's a 31x33 pant, which isn't easy!) but I only have to do it once a season at the most. His favorite is when i buy 5 pairs of jeans and he tries them on and decides which to keep. We have a tailor in Asia that makes all his suits and dress shirts for cheap and we do an order every other year or so to fill in gaps.

He has a lot of high level meetings and likes that he never has to think about fashion or worry about what tie looks great with what suit. I'd call his wardrobe a capsule wardrobe. He gets compliments too. I'm 100% certain he'd never tell anyone that he hasn't shopped in a decade or so. I also go through his clothes and box up the ones that aren't seasonally appropriate. Otherwise he'd still be in flannel/wool in the summer and polo shirts in the winter.

I enjoy it and he doesn't. It's just our division of labor. He's amazing at home and car repairs.

I periodically edit his clothes, because I just don't want him to badly dressed. He sometimes looks around for something and tattered Tshirt, sweats with stains, like a momma cat looking for a missing kitty. I never confess because he would get mad. He should thank me.

I hope he throws your clothes away. This is as bad as opening mail addressed only to him.

I do that too. We have no secrets.

I bet you see this as a sign you have a really strong relationship.,it's actually a mark of abuse.

NP, here. PP you are nuts. I would love if my DH went through my mail (if he'd actually handle everything). And frankly, hypo-PP, if he wanted to clean up my email and/or purse, godspeed. We have shared bank accounts, shared phone plan, share each other's laptops, heck even the iphones in a pinch. It is bizarre to me how partners in DCUM marriages seem to want operate as two hostile states in national security lockdown. I have nothing to hide--much of my day-to-day is VERY boring, which is exactly why I'd love someone else to deal with 99% of it--and I'm sure DH would love to offload all of this to me too!

WHAT??

This blows my mind. You throw someone else's belongings away?

This is some of the most entitled and grossest behavior ever.

Disgusting.

I've been selling my ex-wife's used lingerie on EBay.

Anonymous wrote:DH here and this sounds perfectly reasonable to me. I appreciate the way my wife always looks out for me and I like to help her too.

I usually go through her email and text messages before she reads them and delete the ones she doesn't need to see, to take that stress off her plate. Then I will review and edit her outgoing draft messages before they are sent to make sure she isn't saying anything embarrassing. Oh, and I clean her purse out for her periodically, too. That woman, I don't know what she'd do without me taking care of her.

My wife used to open my mail. I considered that crossing a line, mostly because I'd hear about my ATM withdrawals.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH here and this sounds perfectly reasonable to me. I appreciate the way my wife always looks out for me and I like to help her too.

I usually go through her email and text messages before she reads them and delete the ones she doesn't need to see, to take that stress off her plate. Then I will review and edit her outgoing draft messages before they are sent to make sure she isn't saying anything embarrassing. Oh, and I clean her purse out for her periodically, too. That woman, I don't know what she'd do without me taking care of her.

LOL!

Touché!

Anonymous wrote:DH here and this sounds perfectly reasonable to me. I appreciate the way my wife always looks out for me and I like to help her too.

I usually go through her email and text messages before she reads them and delete the ones she doesn't need to see, to take that stress off her plate. Then I will review and edit her outgoing draft messages before they are sent to make sure she isn't saying anything embarrassing. Oh, and I clean her purse out for her periodically, too. That woman, I don't know what she'd do without me taking care of her.

LOL!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:no, I don't edit anything of his. I'm his wife not his mommy.

+1

How is this "mommy" behavior? I edit my DHs clothing so he looks sexy. I buy him clothes that accentuating his muscular body - when we met he was buying the same baggy clothes as when he went to college in the 1990s. He likes how he looks, and now buys himself the same brands/fit that I do when he shops for himself (about half the time).

FWIW, I tell him I am going to toss things so he can veto.

Hmm, hadn't thought of this. I'll just get rid of DW's non-sexy stuff, and keep the tight clothes that accentuate her body the right way.

Thanks, PP!

DH here and this sounds perfectly reasonable to me. I appreciate the way my wife always looks out for me and I like to help her too.

I usually go through her email and text messages before she reads them and delete the ones she doesn't need to see, to take that stress off her plate. Then I will review and edit her outgoing draft messages before they are sent to make sure she isn't saying anything embarrassing. Oh, and I clean her purse out for her periodically, too. That woman, I don't know what she'd do without me taking care of her.

My DH and I have a lot of communal t-shirts (we wear about the same size and often will only get one t-shirt at a concert or while on vacation), I would be so pissed if he threw out one of my favorites.

I toss stuff and donate stuff all the time. Usually I do it when I'm tossing and going through my stuff too. I don't hide that I'm doing it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:no, I don't edit anything of his. I'm his wife not his mommy.

+1

How is this "mommy" behavior? I edit my DHs clothing so he looks sexy. I buy him clothes that accentuating his muscular body - when we met he was buying the same baggy clothes as when he went to college in the 1990s. He likes how he looks, and now buys himself the same brands/fit that I do when he shops for himself (about half the time).

FWIW, I tell him I am going to toss things so he can veto.

Never.