I'm 41 and I have about $300k in my TSP and another $100k in a Roth IRA. Will also have a federal pension.

I do have slightly more than 3x my salary, and with the pension most retirement calculators seem to think I'll be ok. I feel behind though because I'm recently divorced and was expecting to have two sets of accounts in retirement, but now won't. Thankfully, my ex didn't try to get any of my retirement accounts in the divorce because I have considerably more than him (because I'm a saver and he is not).

I have about $20k in 529s for two young kids. Ex also has accounts though I don't know the balances.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interesting how in most cases here - the DHs have a lot more than the DWs. Are the DHs earning that much more? Or are the DHs maxing out while the DWs are responsible for additional bills like childcare?

I noticed that, too. The question was individually and many answered for their DH's. I'm not even seeing mention of IRAs for those who SAH.

And when the divorce comes, mothers are much more likely to prioritize staying in the marital home or obtaining promises of college funding from their exes, and give up valuable pension and/or retirement funds in exchange. This is why many more women are living on razor thin margins in retirement than men.

I can only speak from experience living in Virginia. My parents divorced when we were in high school. My mom got half of everything, she even gets some of his SS when he dies even though he is remarried. He also had to pay for our college (part of the settlement).

She walked away with almost 7 figures in retirement, half the proceeds of the sale of the house, half of ALL taxable investments, the dog and the kids. 19years later she has a modest admin job, no mortgage to speak of, that retirement has sat there for 18years and has had compounded and is now over 7 figures. She also hasn't touched the taxable investments which has also doubled.

In Virginia, everything gets split in half. No questions asked. No fight, unless you have a prenump. Yes, my dad is better off because he has a career, but she didnt gwt screwed.

b

1. I have no idea why your mom would share such specific info with you about her divorce settlement.

2. Your statement is wrong. VA isn't a community property state. It is an equitable distribution state.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interesting how in most cases here - the DHs have a lot more than the DWs. Are the DHs earning that much more? Or are the DHs maxing out while the DWs are responsible for additional bills like childcare?

I noticed that, too. The question was individually and many answered for their DH's. I'm not even seeing mention of IRAs for those who SAH.

And when the divorce comes, mothers are much more likely to prioritize staying in the marital home or obtaining promises of college funding from their exes, and give up valuable pension and/or retirement funds in exchange. This is why many more women are living on razor thin margins in retirement than men.

I can only speak from experience living in Virginia. My parents divorced when we were in high school. My mom got half of everything, she even gets some of his SS when he dies even though he is remarried. He also had to pay for our college (part of the settlement).

She walked away with almost 7 figures in retirement, half the proceeds of the sale of the house, half of ALL taxable investments, the dog and the kids. 19years later she has a modest admin job, no mortgage to speak of, that retirement has sat there for 18years and has had compounded and is now over 7 figures. She also hasn't touched the taxable investments which has also doubled.

In Virginia, everything gets split in half. No questions asked. No fight, unless you have a prenump. Yes, my dad is better off because he has a career, but she didnt gwt screwed.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interesting how in most cases here - the DHs have a lot more than the DWs. Are the DHs earning that much more? Or are the DHs maxing out while the DWs are responsible for additional bills like childcare?

I noticed that, too. The question was individually and many answered for their DH's. I'm not even seeing mention of IRAs for those who SAH.

OK, I'll answer then.

42: I have $650,000 in investment accounts, about $500K is in some retirement form, the rest in more liquid assets
DH 43 has $80K in his 401K
We have a total of something like $35K in the two kids' 529s.
Something like $25K in savings, but that goes in and out a lot.

We have a big mortgage, but no other debts.

Anonymous wrote:What's your income? You should have 3x saved for retirement. How old are you kids?

Not exactly. Someone who makes 10M per year does not need 3x. That formula is too simplistic and doesn't even take into account other assets...

Anonymous wrote:Interesting how in most cases here - the DHs have a lot more than the DWs. Are the DHs earning that much more? Or are the DHs maxing out while the DWs are responsible for additional bills like childcare?

Mine is lower because i SAH while the kids were little. However we had kids young so i basically first entered the professional workforce at age 30. He has been contributing since age 22 and always worked at a company with a generous match. There absolutely wad none left over for an IRA. Doesn't really matter though, we are better off than most. He's 41 and has around 650k and Im 39 with 200k.

Anonymous wrote:Interesting how in most cases here - the DHs have a lot more than the DWs. Are the DHs earning that much more? Or are the DHs maxing out while the DWs are responsible for additional bills like childcare?

Childcare paid by DWs may be a factor, but I think it is true that most DHs are earning more than DWs assuming equivalent educations/yrs of work etc. Even for DWs who don't opt out of the workforce, often they are the ones who take a step back in their career bc of kids. When you step into roles that involve no travel, allow you to leave at exactly 5 pm to make it to daycare, and/or work from home a few times a week, you aren't going to get the same raises and promotions as DH who can travel at the drop of a hat, work until 8 pm anytime work requires it, and/or never has to take time off for oddly timed school break or kid dr. appointments. No wonder DWs 401ks suffer.

39/40

39yo $625k Roth, $25k 401k
40 yo $200k Roth $225k 401k

We have no money put aside for college (we find the investment options sufficiently limiting that it offsets the tax deferred status of the accounts).

Over $10M in other investible assets.

I am 46 - $600K across all retirement accounts
About $50K in saving
No debt other than $225K mortgage
About $70K in 529 for 2 kids (8 and 10)

DH has a bit more than me in retirement but he is in his early 50s.

We *always* max out our retirement account first.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interesting how in most cases here - the DHs have a lot more than the DWs. Are the DHs earning that much more? Or are the DHs maxing out while the DWs are responsible for additional bills like childcare?

I noticed that, too. The question was individually and many answered for their DH's. I'm not even seeing mention of IRAs for those who SAH.

And when the divorce comes, mothers are much more likely to prioritize staying in the marital home or obtaining promises of college funding from their exes, and give up valuable pension and/or retirement funds in exchange. This is why many more women are living on razor thin margins in retirement than men.

Anonymous wrote:Interesting how in most cases here - the DHs have a lot more than the DWs. Are the DHs earning that much more? Or are the DHs maxing out while the DWs are responsible for additional bills like childcare?

I noticed that, too. The question was individually and many answered for their DH's. I'm not even seeing mention of IRAs for those who SAH.

Interesting how in most cases here - the DHs have a lot more than the DWs. Are the DHs earning that much more? Or are the DHs maxing out while the DWs are responsible for additional bills like childcare?

We maxed and matched from roughly year 2 and had good matching plans - were at around $1.45M at 40

45 with 425K in my 401k. That's it. No other real savings to speak of. There's $25k in an emergency fund. I'm a single mom by choice to 2 kids. They each have $50k in their 529s. We live in a TH and the kids go to public. I make $150. Not really sure how to save more money.

TSP, $340k; pension, $24-36k per annum depending on when I choose to retire. Aged 46, only started at 32.