Anonymous
Post 01/26/2017 12:02     Subject: Re:Is this rude?
Anonymous wrote:NP here.

OP, based on your other linked thread and this one, I think that you (and your DH) are still too immature to be married. Neither of you handle interpersonal relationships well.

You dated as teenagers, had high school drama caused by your then-BF's best friend. That needed to be aired and resolved between you, your DH, his best friend and family before you became engaged. You seemingly left this hanging over your young lives and got married, so you left drama in your lives. Since then, you canceled your wedding and eloped. I'm sure that didn't help your cause. While I understand that you had an issue with a family member dying just before your wedding, you should have tried to reschedule, at least a small family event. For a family anticipating a wedding, then having a family member dying and their family member eloping instead of holding even a belated wedding, it also didn't help to endear you to them. Finally, you seem to take offense at a lot and create drama. I understand that your SIL is abrasive, but your response and reactions are not particularly mature either.

Even at 25/26, you both seem to act very much like immature high school teens and I think you need to mature a little.


We did try to reschedule the wedding. Multiple times. None of DH's family would agree with us on a date. DH told them I never cheated and explained all of that. I'm not sitting here taking offense to trivial things. SIL actually makes sure I know she doesn't like me or think of me as family as she's actually said it. I asked her if she meant it later and she said she likes me just not when she feels I control her brother. I don't control my husband, hes a grown man. I thought things were ok between us so the comment hurt my feelings
Anonymous
Post 01/26/2017 11:56     Subject: Re:Is this rude?
NP here.

OP, based on your other linked thread and this one, I think that you (and your DH) are still too immature to be married. Neither of you handle interpersonal relationships well.

You dated as teenagers, had high school drama caused by your then-BF's best friend. That needed to be aired and resolved between you, your DH, his best friend and family before you became engaged. You seemingly left this hanging over your young lives and got married, so you left drama in your lives. Since then, you canceled your wedding and eloped. I'm sure that didn't help your cause. While I understand that you had an issue with a family member dying just before your wedding, you should have tried to reschedule, at least a small family event. For a family anticipating a wedding, then having a family member dying and their family member eloping instead of holding even a belated wedding, it also didn't help to endear you to them. Finally, you seem to take offense at a lot and create drama. I understand that your SIL is abrasive, but your response and reactions are not particularly mature either.

Even at 25/26, you both seem to act very much like immature high school teens and I think you need to mature a little.
Anonymous
Post 01/26/2017 11:49     Subject: Is this rude?
Anonymous wrote:OP, it's not immature to cut off contact with a crazy, abusive person.

It is immature to go online, air laundry, and seek validation from strangers to take action.


I thought it was ok to vent here?
Anonymous
Post 01/26/2017 11:47     Subject: Is this rude?
OP, it's not immature to cut off contact with a crazy, abusive person.

It is immature to go online, air laundry, and seek validation from strangers to take action.
Anonymous
Post 01/26/2017 11:47     Subject: Is this rude?
Anonymous wrote:I think OP thinks it's rude because SIL didn't say, "he sure loves his Uncle John AND Aunt Sensitivia."


I just burst out laughing in my office!
Anonymous
Post 01/26/2017 11:44     Subject: Is this rude?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, you keep linking to the same thread. You do sound pretty immature. I'm sure your inlaws aren't great, but you're acting like you are still in high school.


+1

OP it does sound like you have very little self awareness about your own contributing, not-so-nice behavior.


Here is an actual Facebook message from SIL's DH.
Really and you let (DH) talk for himself. And the reason I talk for (FIL) is cause (MIL) wont let him. And as far is me being like a brother all I asked was you to help your sister. And I don't come c (DH) cause I can't stand You or your family. And I could really care less if your mad (OP) get a job and grow up. All You want to do is point fingers like your family is better than ours. That's fine we all know the truth. (DH) when you put your big boy pants back on and get your balls out of her purse You know where I leave come but and me and you can talk. Just so you know (OP), (DH) asked me if he should get back with you when y'all got back together and I told him yes if he still liked you. But just so you know (DH) that's 6 years of friendship and almost 21 years of your live over some woman. You can reply back I wont answer. I'm sorry (DH) I love you. You want to talk come buy. Don't call I wouldn't want none of your none family to have your number. Goodbye


Good lord. You're all immature. PLEASE don't procreate!


I'm immature because after years of being treated badly I deleted SIL and dropped the rope?
Anonymous
Post 01/26/2017 11:43     Subject: Is this rude?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, you keep linking to the same thread. You do sound pretty immature. I'm sure your inlaws aren't great, but you're acting like you are still in high school.


+1

OP it does sound like you have very little self awareness about your own contributing, not-so-nice behavior.


Here is an actual Facebook message from SIL's DH.
Really and you let (DH) talk for himself. And the reason I talk for (FIL) is cause (MIL) wont let him. And as far is me being like a brother all I asked was you to help your sister. And I don't come c (DH) cause I can't stand You or your family. And I could really care less if your mad (OP) get a job and grow up. All You want to do is point fingers like your family is better than ours. That's fine we all know the truth. (DH) when you put your big boy pants back on and get your balls out of her purse You know where I leave come but and me and you can talk. Just so you know (OP), (DH) asked me if he should get back with you when y'all got back together and I told him yes if he still liked you. But just so you know (DH) that's 6 years of friendship and almost 21 years of your live over some woman. You can reply back I wont answer. I'm sorry (DH) I love you. You want to talk come buy. Don't call I wouldn't want none of your none family to have your number. Goodbye


^ This was because DH wasn't being SIL's servant. This was because SIL was pissed that DH wasn't dropping everything(work included) to go work on her roof, plumbing, electric, etc. That's what he means by helping SIL is all he asks.
Anonymous
Post 01/26/2017 11:42     Subject: Is this rude?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, you keep linking to the same thread. You do sound pretty immature. I'm sure your inlaws aren't great, but you're acting like you are still in high school.


+1

OP it does sound like you have very little self awareness about your own contributing, not-so-nice behavior.


Here is an actual Facebook message from SIL's DH.
Really and you let (DH) talk for himself. And the reason I talk for (FIL) is cause (MIL) wont let him. And as far is me being like a brother all I asked was you to help your sister. And I don't come c (DH) cause I can't stand You or your family. And I could really care less if your mad (OP) get a job and grow up. All You want to do is point fingers like your family is better than ours. That's fine we all know the truth. (DH) when you put your big boy pants back on and get your balls out of her purse You know where I leave come but and me and you can talk. Just so you know (OP), (DH) asked me if he should get back with you when y'all got back together and I told him yes if he still liked you. But just so you know (DH) that's 6 years of friendship and almost 21 years of your live over some woman. You can reply back I wont answer. I'm sorry (DH) I love you. You want to talk come buy. Don't call I wouldn't want none of your none family to have your number. Goodbye


Good lord. You're all immature. PLEASE don't procreate!
Anonymous
Post 01/26/2017 11:42     Subject: Is this rude?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, you keep linking to the same thread. You do sound pretty immature. I'm sure your inlaws aren't great, but you're acting like you are still in high school.


+1

OP it does sound like you have very little self awareness about your own contributing, not-so-nice behavior.


Here is an actual Facebook message from SIL's DH.
Really and you let (DH) talk for himself. And the reason I talk for (FIL) is cause (MIL) wont let him. And as far is me being like a brother all I asked was you to help your sister. And I don't come c (DH) cause I can't stand You or your family. And I could really care less if your mad (OP) get a job and grow up. All You want to do is point fingers like your family is better than ours. That's fine we all know the truth. (DH) when you put your big boy pants back on and get your balls out of her purse You know where I leave come but and me and you can talk. Just so you know (OP), (DH) asked me if he should get back with you when y'all got back together and I told him yes if he still liked you. But just so you know (DH) that's 6 years of friendship and almost 21 years of your live over some woman. You can reply back I wont answer. I'm sorry (DH) I love you. You want to talk come buy. Don't call I wouldn't want none of your none family to have your number. Goodbye


Ugh, she's an atrocious writer. I can see why you think you're better than her.
Anonymous
Post 01/26/2017 11:40     Subject: Is this rude?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, you keep linking to the same thread. You do sound pretty immature. I'm sure your inlaws aren't great, but you're acting like you are still in high school.


+1

OP it does sound like you have very little self awareness about your own contributing, not-so-nice behavior.


Here is an actual Facebook message from SIL's DH.
Really and you let (DH) talk for himself. And the reason I talk for (FIL) is cause (MIL) wont let him. And as far is me being like a brother all I asked was you to help your sister. And I don't come c (DH) cause I can't stand You or your family. And I could really care less if your mad (OP) get a job and grow up. All You want to do is point fingers like your family is better than ours. That's fine we all know the truth. (DH) when you put your big boy pants back on and get your balls out of her purse You know where I leave come but and me and you can talk. Just so you know (OP), (DH) asked me if he should get back with you when y'all got back together and I told him yes if he still liked you. But just so you know (DH) that's 6 years of friendship and almost 21 years of your live over some woman. You can reply back I wont answer. I'm sorry (DH) I love you. You want to talk come buy. Don't call I wouldn't want none of your none family to have your number. Goodbye
Anonymous
Post 01/26/2017 11:35     Subject: Is this rude?
Anonymous wrote:OP, you keep linking to the same thread. You do sound pretty immature. I'm sure your inlaws aren't great, but you're acting like you are still in high school.


+1

OP it does sound like you have very little self awareness about your own contributing, not-so-nice behavior.
Anonymous
Post 01/26/2017 11:33     Subject: Is this rude?
You unfriended her for that? Way to try and make things better
Anonymous
Post 01/26/2017 11:32     Subject: Is this rude?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You act like a petulant brat and then you are surprised that you are treated like one? You get zero sympathy from me, OP. And I've read both threads. You either grow up and act like an adult or you continue being treated as the insufferable child that you are.


I don't understand what I have done wrong other than continue to make an effort with someone who does not like me.


Unfriending SIL from Facebook for an innocuous comment would be one thing that you have done wrong.
Anonymous
Post 01/26/2017 11:32     Subject: Is this rude?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You act like a petulant brat and then you are surprised that you are treated like one? You get zero sympathy from me, OP. And I've read both threads. You either grow up and act like an adult or you continue being treated as the insufferable child that you are.


I don't understand what I have done wrong other than continue to make an effort with someone who does not like me.


Did you not just act like a passive aggressive brat by unfriending her? You are in deep denial about yourself and your own issues that contribute to why you are disliked.
Anonymous
Post 01/26/2017 11:31     Subject: Is this rude?
OP, you keep linking to the same thread. You do sound pretty immature. I'm sure your inlaws aren't great, but you're acting like you are still in high school.