Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

ILs are paying for the house;

The IL's are paying. This changes the dynamic. You are not equals, you do not have equal say re: this vacation. You will need to be VERY careful not to be the chief planner or get bossy. You are THEIR guest.

OP here.

Um...

I was just looking for advice like "be sure to bring baby powder to get the sand off your feet" and "check to make sure whether linens and towels are provided."

But thanks, somebody's grumpy MIL!

My IL's are cool and we have a great relationship. All of DH's family clean up and cook and pay their fair shares, and I'm not worried about any of that nonsense at all.

Get back to us in September with a full report. Guarantee you will see these people in a way that you have not before.

I haven't had a beach house experience with "these people" before, but I have traveled with them. We have all stayed in each other's homes for long holidays. We have shopped, meal planned, cooked, cleaned, and helped with child care all together before.

I will be happy to report back in September, and I expect to have a great report! Perhaps that's why I get along with my ILs...I don't expect things to be an ordeal, and I know how to open my mouth and speak when I want or need something. --OP

Anonymous wrote:This thread reminds me why this kind of trip will never happen in my family. I would do a family vacation at a resort or something (and I don't even like resort vacations) but OMFG all those people and chore charts and scheduled and receipts. No. Way.

This. Exactly.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

ILs are paying for the house;

The IL's are paying. This changes the dynamic. You are not equals, you do not have equal say re: this vacation. You will need to be VERY careful not to be the chief planner or get bossy. You are THEIR guest.

OP here.

Um...

I was just looking for advice like "be sure to bring baby powder to get the sand off your feet" and "check to make sure whether linens and towels are provided."

But thanks, somebody's grumpy MIL!

My IL's are cool and we have a great relationship. All of DH's family clean up and cook and pay their fair shares, and I'm not worried about any of that nonsense at all.

Get back to us in September with a full report. Guarantee you will see these people in a way that you have not before.

Those of you who want to be carefree still need to think about logistics. When you are ready to eat where is the food coming from? Are you going to the grocery store every day? If you are choosing a house over a hotel you need to think about cleaning, cooking, shopping. If that's not vacation for you then a shared beach house isn't a good choice.

We own a beach house and while we love having guests, it would be nice if people would pitch in every once in a while. We don't need chore charts, but help with dinner would be nice. Even a simple dinner is a little more complicated when you are cooking for 7-8 people every day.

We invited you on vacation, it is our treat, sit back and enjoy.

We never accept payment etc from our guests.

Makes for a great time. no stress no BS, open communications

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread reminds me why this kind of trip will never happen in my family. I would do a family vacation at a resort or something (and I don't even like resort vacations) but OMFG all those people and chore charts and scheduled and receipts. No. Way.

+1

and this is why we don't share a beach house.

Too me that is like being at home. Same shit, different house.

we planned in advance who was in charge of meals for each day

It's vacation. I'll eat when I want, what I want. Maybe one dinner together. Maybe I'll do it more often. But only if I feel like it at the time. I'm not planning this ahead.

Anonymous wrote:This thread reminds me why this kind of trip will never happen in my family. I would do a family vacation at a resort or something (and I don't even like resort vacations) but OMFG all those people and chore charts and scheduled and receipts. No. Way.

+1

and this is why we don't share a beach house.

This thread reminds me why this kind of trip will never happen in my family. I would do a family vacation at a resort or something (and I don't even like resort vacations) but OMFG all those people and chore charts and scheduled and receipts. No. Way.

Anonymous wrote:How many people? And how many family units?

We have always had a "chore chart". It's been more and less involved at times, depending on who was coming. Each family takes turns cooking dinner every night. The chart has three spaces a day for kitchen cleaning. One for after breakfast (9am), one for after lunch (2pm), one for after dinner (8pm). That way one person doesn't get stuck ALWAYS cleaning the kitchen or unloading the dishwasher. It also means that if you want to stay late on the beach one night, you aren't worried that you should be back at the house helping to cook dinner. You know you can relax and still pull your weight.

When we have kids who are able, they get chores like "empty all the bathroom trashcans" and "check all bathrooms for toilet paper" or "kitchen helper" where they assist whoever is cooking that night.

WTF? I get splitting up some dinners but this sounds terrible. It's freaking vacation. If you make a mess, clean it up. Done.

Bring staples from home or they get expensive to buy....like salt, sugar etc. Specialty items you wont be able to get at a tiny beach grocery.

Coffee you like. Hand soap (I do foaming for my kids).

Entertainment for the kids..including a game box, board games, movies...

Definite baby powder.
Extra sunscreen and a first aid kit.

You guys go on vacation with really terrible people! Sheesh!

OP, did this a few years ago with my husband's family and again over Thanksgiving. I adore all of them, my sibling in laws both have children and we don't, so we typically get a separate bedroom and bathroom, while the families figure out how to split up the kids - it's changing as they get older. If you guys are all reasonable, this shouldn't be an issue. If not, make sure you guys agree on the house and potential room assignments before you rent it.

Other than that, we typically divvy up meals ahead of time amongst the adult children and spouses, with the caveat that whomever is in charge can do whatever they want- cook, go out, order in, take out, leftovers, cereal, whatever. Again, if you're reasonable this won't be an issue.

I will say we definitely over bought at the grocery store, so didn't go out too much the first time but cut back a bit the second time and went out more which was nice. At the end of each trip we add up all the meals and split amongst the couples evenly and include things like boat rentals or whatever with that. We never really keep track of little expenses because who cares.

Bring board games for the kids and adults! We love a good settlers of catan game with some wine and whiskey after the kids are in bed.

Most of all enjoy! I am an only child and lucked out with my in laws- they're the very normal, loving, relaxed but crazy big family I never knew I wanted!