Anonymous
Post 01/23/2017 15:22     Subject: can anyone who only has boys ACTUALLY admit they wish they had a girl?
I really wanted a girl. I got my son, and I'm so glad I got him instead of a girl. Is that honest enough for you?
Anonymous
Post 01/23/2017 15:11     Subject: can anyone who only has boys ACTUALLY admit they wish they had a girl?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:

Mother-daughter relationships seem harder but it seems if you come out of it as friends there are more benefits to having adult daughters than to having adult sons (access to grandkids, less complicated IL relationship, potential female friendship). Nothing is guaranteed, of course.


THIS!!!!!!!! All my female friends are super close to their moms, talk to them constantly, facilitate great relationships with grandkids etc. The mother in law daughter in law dynamic is fraught with peril, because she blocks access to your grandkids and judges your behavior with them etc. Most of my male friends, including husband, aren't as close/chatty/interactive with parents.

This is a GENERALIZATION, of course, but it's a generalization because it's true more often of the time


all your female friends are super close to their moms? I'd say in my circle it's about 50/50.
Anonymous
Post 01/23/2017 15:03     Subject: can anyone who only has boys ACTUALLY admit they wish they had a girl?
Anonymous wrote:
I wonder how many of you women deeply pining for a girl have unresolved mommy issues, or self esteem issues? Is it about wanting to mold someone into a mini me?


Oh, I have mommy issues. I totally admit that. My mom died very suddenly and traumatically just before I got pregnant with my (adored) boy. He's probably our only for many reasons. It's hard for me to think about not being part of a mother-daughter relationship ever again. It's probably something I'll always be a little sad about-- not wishing my son were a girl, but wishing that it had worked out for me to have a girl, too.
Anonymous
Post 01/23/2017 15:02     Subject: Re:can anyone who only has boys ACTUALLY admit they wish they had a girl?
all these people who say their nieces or neighbors girls are so high drama, what do you mean?

my DD's are 4 and 6, and I don't see that. I *DO* feel like they're calmer and more focused than their boy peers.
Anonymous
Post 01/23/2017 14:59     Subject: can anyone who only has boys ACTUALLY admit they wish they had a girl?
Along with the gendered language there is a lot of discussion about how boys are drama free as teens. Not so! We've had plenty of drama and boys are more likely to have learning disabilities, not do as well in school, and not go to college.

I love my boys, but I do worry about the MIL-DIL relationship. It is playing out now with my in-laws who are very ill, and it is tough for my husband and brother to be caretakers, and breadwinners. (And, I do admit, that I control the schedule although I hope I do so fairly).
Anonymous
Post 01/23/2017 14:52     Subject: can anyone who only has boys ACTUALLY admit they wish they had a girl?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have a girl and TBH, I'm kind of hoping she's not going to be a sitting quietly getting a mani pedi, or shopping kind of girl. I'm hoping she's going to be a mountain biking, hiking, ball of sass. But, she's going to be who she is, and I'm already anticipating I'm going to have to learn to use glitter and eyeshadow.

My SIL is deeply depressed about not having a girl. She had two really great little boys and can't even appreciate what an awesome family she has.

I wonder how many of you women deeply pining for a girl have unresolved mommy issues, or self esteem issues? Is it about wanting to mold someone into a mini me?


I hate it when people crow about their girls being "sassy" or "feisty". It's such gendered language that you rarely hear used to describe our sons.


No, boys get "rambunctious", "busy" or "such a BOY". I want my daughter to buck against the little lady stereotypes, meek and quiet aT lunch like a PP mentioned. I want a who has opinions and a voice. I want her to ask questions, disagree, and not be scared to be who she is...so yes, in current terminology that I can quickly use to Illustrate who I hope she'll be - I want sassy.
Anonymous
Post 01/23/2017 14:52     Subject: can anyone who only has boys ACTUALLY admit they wish they had a girl?
I have two boys and do not want a girl, though if I have a third I will be grateful for whatever sex it is. I don't care if you don't believe me. My 3 nieces are all big handfuls and my boys, in comparison, are sweet and kind and fun.
Anonymous
Post 01/23/2017 14:48     Subject: Re:can anyone who only has boys ACTUALLY admit they wish they had a girl?
Anonymous wrote:I have a son and I was so glad when I found out I was having a boy. I was telling myself I would be happy with either, but my initial reaction to having a girl would have been one of disappointment.


Me too.
Anonymous
Post 01/23/2017 14:48     Subject: Re:can anyone who only has boys ACTUALLY admit they wish they had a girl?
I will admit it. My first two children are boys, who I adore. Hubby & I agreed on three children. FWIW, I wanted my first born to be a boy, was hoping #2 would be a girl and once we had one of each, would have been happy with either for #3. I didn't want to specialize in being mom of all boys, so we did high tech for #3. After she was born, I really wanted to have another girl to give her a sister but hubby said no. In an alternate reality, I would love two of each. Each boy would have a brother and each girl, a sister.
Anonymous
Post 01/23/2017 14:45     Subject: can anyone who only has boys ACTUALLY admit they wish they had a girl?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:cause I didn't really want a girl to begin with...(I mean if we're being honest here.)

I can't imagine anyone saying that they don't want girls... except maybe Asians in the old country.

GL with that, because boys will not take care of you in old age.


I'm the one you're responding to. Its anonymous here, so yes, I can admit that my preference was for boys (I have 2), but would gladly have accepted whatever I was given. And you second assumption is patently false too. My brother has a much closer relationship with our parents than I do. If there's anyone that's going to "take care of them in old age" its him. Don't jump down my throat for saying that, I'm not abandoning my parents, but he's closer both emotionally and geographically. My husband is also one of two boys, his mom recently had a health scare and he was on the next plane out to look after her when he felt his dad wasn't being proactive enough.

The lady doth protest too much, methinks

These are just generalities but yes, it's true, girls are better at taking care of their older parents than boys.

My Asian parents have both, and they have said the same thing. When we were younger, it was all about the boy. Now, as they are older, they see the value of girls more. That said, my DH (not Asian) talks to his parents a lot, more so than me, but I think some of that is due to the fact that I don't get along with my mother very well, never have.
Anonymous
Post 01/23/2017 14:43     Subject: can anyone who only has boys ACTUALLY admit they wish they had a girl?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:cause I didn't really want a girl to begin with...(I mean if we're being honest here.)

I can't imagine anyone saying that they don't want girls... except maybe Asians in the old country.

GL with that, because boys will not take care of you in old age.


I didn't want a girl either and I'm not Asian. I did end up having one and can't imagine my life without her. As for the support, I have four brothers and two sisters, we all take care of our mom both with money and time.
Anonymous
Post 01/23/2017 14:39     Subject: can anyone who only has boys ACTUALLY admit they wish they had a girl?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:cause I didn't really want a girl to begin with...(I mean if we're being honest here.)

I can't imagine anyone saying that they don't want girls... except maybe Asians in the old country.

GL with that, because boys will not take care of you in old age.


I'm the one you're responding to. Its anonymous here, so yes, I can admit that my preference was for boys (I have 2), but would gladly have accepted whatever I was given. And you second assumption is patently false too. My brother has a much closer relationship with our parents than I do. If there's anyone that's going to "take care of them in old age" its him. Don't jump down my throat for saying that, I'm not abandoning my parents, but he's closer both emotionally and geographically. My husband is also one of two boys, his mom recently had a health scare and he was on the next plane out to look after her when he felt his dad wasn't being proactive enough.

The lady doth protest too much, methinks
Anonymous
Post 01/23/2017 14:30     Subject: can anyone who only has boys ACTUALLY admit they wish they had a girl?
Anonymous wrote:

Mother-daughter relationships seem harder but it seems if you come out of it as friends there are more benefits to having adult daughters than to having adult sons (access to grandkids, less complicated IL relationship, potential female friendship). Nothing is guaranteed, of course.


THIS!!!!!!!! All my female friends are super close to their moms, talk to them constantly, facilitate great relationships with grandkids etc. The mother in law daughter in law dynamic is fraught with peril, because she blocks access to your grandkids and judges your behavior with them etc. Most of my male friends, including husband, aren't as close/chatty/interactive with parents.

This is a GENERALIZATION, of course, but it's a generalization because it's true more often of the time
Anonymous
Post 01/23/2017 14:30     Subject: can anyone who only has boys ACTUALLY admit they wish they had a girl?
I have two awesome boys. I really wanted a girl to share experiences with but it was not meant to be. My husband said we could do IVF for a girl but I passed. It does pain me a little when I see moms and daughters shopping ect.
Anonymous
Post 01/23/2017 14:28     Subject: Re:can anyone who only has boys ACTUALLY admit they wish they had a girl?
Prior to kids - I only wanted daughters. After my first son, I didn't care anymore, as I was so in love; I ended up with 3 sons (we had only planned on 1 child, but I was so enamored with my kid(s), we kept going). I am kind of glad that I have only sons now, as they are very affectionate, love to cuddle, have similar interests and are not very rough; I expect less drama when they reach their teens. The one concern I have is that I will only have DILs....I pray that we'll get along!