I think handjob and pearl necklace win this- awesome!!

I had an ex bf with home we'd gotten busy. Later we were laying on the beach with his parents and he was playing with my abdomen, petting my skin around my navel when he suddenly yells "what is this crud in your belly button??"... it was 'skin flakes' of his cum from earlier. I glared at him and he kept going on and on about I was shedding or I had a sunburn... when he finally made eye contact I had my head cocked to the side like "remember doing that?" he shut up but by then his mum and grandmum were leaning into the crevasse of my incredibly deep (cum catcher) belly button musing over what it was. I left to go for a swim.

I want that bag of old scrunchies from PP's MIL though. You can wash them and they are hard to find in bigger sizes these days!

My only awkward moment with MIL was my fault. I had an inflamed hair on my bikini line but between my thighs, so couldn't run in a marathon we had planned with inlaws. I said 'wanna see it' and MIL said yes, so I showed her the crotch shots on my phone where I had taken pics to see wth was hurting so bad 'down there'. It was supposed to be a mum- daughter moment where she was like 'awww I feel for you' but then DH came along and was horrified that I was showing her my bits.

Anonymous wrote:My MIL, when announcing to us that her husband's sister (DH's aunt) has treatable breast cancer, was giving us a rundown of treatments, etc. She looked at me and said, "Has anyone in your family ever had cancer?"

She knows, and has been told many times with details, that my own mother, grandmother and two aunts had breast cancer.

Off topic, but with that many closely related females in your family having had it, you might want to get tested for the BRCA gene, if you haven't already.

My MIL, when announcing to us that her husband's sister (DH's aunt) has treatable breast cancer, was giving us a rundown of treatments, etc. She looked at me and said, "Has anyone in your family ever had cancer?"

She knows, and has been told many times with details, that my own mother, grandmother and two aunts had breast cancer.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When we told my in-laws that I was pregnant, FIL looked like he was trying to figure something out and then announced that we must have concieved during their last visit. When they stayed with us in our small apartment.

What is with all the pervy FIL stories? Gross.

I don't think that is pervy. My father is a math guy. I could see him doing something similar.

Openly speculating about your DIL having sex with your son? That is intrusive and weird. Do the math in your own head.

My mother and her friends did that all the time. I really do not think speculation like that will ever change. Nothing weird about...you must learn not to give out too much incriminating information! As for the breast feeding stories, that's a US first world problem. Go other places and women breast in public....to the point that if a baby is crying(like at a movie) people will yell at the mother to breast feed(but more crudely).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When we told my in-laws that I was pregnant, FIL looked like he was trying to figure something out and then announced that we must have concieved during their last visit. When they stayed with us in our small apartment.

What is with all the pervy FIL stories? Gross.

I don't think that is pervy. My father is a math guy. I could see him doing something similar.

Openly speculating about your DIL having sex with your son? That is intrusive and weird. Do the math in your own head.

Anonymous wrote:This is tame compared to the others, but I'm never sure what to say when my MIL starts going on and on about how brilliant DH is. Which often does, because he's clearly her favorite. He's a genius, can do everything, knows basically everything ever. It was so hard to pick a major because he's SO smart about SO many things.

Sure, lady, that must be why he was fired from a well-paying job with great benefits. Did you know I had to go back to work full-time so we could have health insurance? And after 15 years of being a SAHM, I went out and within a month found a job in the field I left that pays more than that contract work Einstein found after a year of barely trying. Oh, and he doesn't know shit about being a husband, handling finances, or maintaining a house. (of course, I'd never tell you how terrible he is in bed, if I could even remember the last time we had "sex.")

Since you are rapidly heading towards senility, I won't burst your bubble. But trust me, you didn't do him or his family any favors by making him believe he is the smartest, most perfect person in the room.

Ugh. This sounds like a bad situation. I hope you can get to a place where 1) he goes to therapy and becomes a better husband/father/man, or 2) you leave him.

Anonymous wrote:MIL walked in on me giving my DH a handjob. I think I've mentioned this story on her before.
Anyway,It happened shortly after DH and I married and we were living with his parents, while we saved money and prepared to move overseas for grad school.

She hasn't adjusted to the fact her baby boy was all grown up and a married man, and among other things had a habit of walking into our room ( his old room) unannounced. Ignoring our requests to at least knock.

Well one Sunday we had the house to ourselves as my in-laws attend church and we don't ( another sore point for MIL at the time), DH and I were enjoying each other's company, we didn't realize in laws had returned home, and like she had done so many times before waltzed into our room unannounced.

She got an eyeful. Slammed the door shut. She got into a tizzy. Things were said. Argument ensued.

She also never forgot to knock from that point on. Now we're in our own home she's sure to call in advanced before visiting, and when they stay with us she's always makes her presence known before entering any rooms.

What was the argument about? I would have loved to be a fly on the wall (during the argument, not before!)

Anonymous wrote:When I just married DH and we came to visit our inlaws, my MIL handed me a huge ziplock bag full of flowery, powder-smelling old hair scrunches and said: "Here, I cut my hair short now but yours is long so I thought you could use these". At first, I didn't even realize what they were, so I mumbled my thanks and stuffed the baggie into my purse but back home I looked at it closer. WTF?

Of course, I never said anything to her, but, to this day, I keep wondering what goes on in that person's head. I probably should have asked if she had any gently used panty liners..

I think that is sort of sweet. Hair scrunches aren't the same as one-use panty liners (gross). You can wash hair scrunches, for one thing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When we told my in-laws that I was pregnant, FIL looked like he was trying to figure something out and then announced that we must have concieved during their last visit. When they stayed with us in our small apartment.

What is with all the pervy FIL stories? Gross.

I don't think that is pervy. My father is a math guy. I could see him doing something similar.

When I just married DH and we came to visit our inlaws, my MIL handed me a huge ziplock bag full of flowery, powder-smelling old hair scrunches and said: "Here, I cut my hair short now but yours is long so I thought you could use these". At first, I didn't even realize what they were, so I mumbled my thanks and stuffed the baggie into my purse but back home I looked at it closer. WTF?

Of course, I never said anything to her, but, to this day, I keep wondering what goes on in that person's head. I probably should have asked if she had any gently used panty liners..

Anonymous wrote:When we told my in-laws that I was pregnant, FIL looked like he was trying to figure something out and then announced that we must have concieved during their last visit. When they stayed with us in our small apartment.

What is with all the pervy FIL stories? Gross.

FIL is in the hospital. We are waiting around for some reason. FIL swings his legs over the side of the bed so he's sitting on the edge. I had no idea what he was doing until he grabbed a jug, whipped out his penis and starts to pee--with me sitting right there. I never ran so fast out of a room.


FIL lives in our basement. When he comes home or leaves, he has to walk through our living room. When DS was born, I had a hell of a time trying to breastfeed. And ended up pumping. My boobs were on fire all.the.time. Every moment I could, I was topless. When I would hear FIL at the door or coming up the stairs I would quickly cover up. Well, at least 2 times I fell asleep on the couch, topless and realize when I woke up that FIL had at some point walked through the living room and seen me in all my glory

This is tame compared to the others, but I'm never sure what to say when my MIL starts going on and on about how brilliant DH is. Which often does, because he's clearly her favorite. He's a genius, can do everything, knows basically everything ever. It was so hard to pick a major because he's SO smart about SO many things.

Sure, lady, that must be why he was fired from a well-paying job with great benefits. Did you know I had to go back to work full-time so we could have health insurance? And after 15 years of being a SAHM, I went out and within a month found a job in the field I left that pays more than that contract work Einstein found after a year of barely trying. Oh, and he doesn't know shit about being a husband, handling finances, or maintaining a house. (of course, I'd never tell you how terrible he is in bed, if I could even remember the last time we had "sex.")

Since you are rapidly heading towards senility, I won't burst your bubble. But trust me, you didn't do him or his family any favors by making him believe he is the smartest, most perfect person in the room.

Anonymous wrote:When I got off the plane to meet my ILs for the first time, I suddenly had a horrible case of the hiccups.

Love this one! Really... Such a small thing , but I can totally picture it.

Anonymous wrote:When we told my in-laws that I was pregnant, FIL looked like he was trying to figure something out and then announced that we must have concieved during their last visit. When they stayed with us in our small apartment.

Was he right?