Anonymous
01/01/2017 15:02
Subject: What did I do wrong?
Anonymous wrote:If you liked her that much, you would text her more often than every 4 days. The red flag here is that you don't want to text her more..
OP, if you want to text more, you should. The best relationships are built on the two people being their genuine selves right from the get-go. That either meshes or it doesn't. She wants more contact. I think you do, too. Just do it.
Anonymous
01/01/2017 14:59
Subject: What did I do wrong?
Anonymous wrote:I love all the PPs who are saying that this woman is being clear as day with her communication to OP. What about the countless instances of this woman affirming and agreeing with OP about this not being a serious relationship ? I'd say this woman is sending mixed messages.
You can talk more than 1-2 times a week and still be casual. She's not asking him to move in. I think she just wants to make sure he's not only going to text when he wants a booty call. It's ok for her to want that and to be up front about it.
Anonymous
01/01/2017 13:51
Subject: What did I do wrong?
I can understand OP wanting to keep it ultra-casual, given all the stories we hear of guys "texting too soon" and wanting to avoid being too desperate.
What we don't know is whether she is giving up the goods early in the hope of getting a relationship, or if she'd really like to hear from him from time to time (maybe every other day) -- sort of increasing the F aspect of the FWB. I guess that's legit too but there's a cap on how much a friend -- of either sex -- can demand of someone's time (and IMO said cap goes down when there's a Relationship going on.)
I will argue that it is a bit harder to meet someone decent when there's that "friend who seems to be more than a friend" hanging out in the background ...
What we don't know is whether she is giving up the goods early in the hope of getting a relationship, or if she'd really like to hear from him from time to time (maybe every other day) -- sort of increasing the F aspect of the FWB. I guess that's legit too but there's a cap on how much a friend -- of either sex -- can demand of someone's time (and IMO said cap goes down when there's a Relationship going on.)
I will argue that it is a bit harder to meet someone decent when there's that "friend who seems to be more than a friend" hanging out in the background ...
Anonymous
01/01/2017 13:50
Subject: Re:What did I do wrong?
Op, sorry you're getting such harsh responses. I'm a woman and I don't think you are wrong for feeling like this is a red flag. I can understand why you don't communicate that often since you both agreed it's would be casual. It seems like either she agreed and is hoping for something more serious, or she slept with you are realized she wanted more than what you had discussed. I would up the frequency to a text or call to every 2-3 days but I would ask her if she is still ok with a casual relationship. You need to reiterate you don't want anything serious. I don't think daily texting is a good idea because that is more for dating where there is potential for exclusivity and something more serious. I think casual talking and casual sex is better for the type of relationship you want. Be honest and reiterate what you want out of this relationship with her.
Anonymous
01/01/2017 13:11
Subject: What did I do wrong?
I didn't confront her. Her husband called me, and I didn't believe it. He had cheated on me a few years prior and this woman was my friend. I had no idea she was even married. She said her baby daddy was in prison. Meanwhile my husband had been buying her kid diapers and giving her money when he was already broke. When I told him I didn't believe him he told me to mute my phone and he called my husband on 3-way. He ands ked if ue needed to get tested and wanted to know if he wore and asked if he wore a condom. My idiot exdh said yes I always do . And that was it.
Her husband was livid. He called me back a couple of days later screaming at her to apologize to me. I told him it was fine. I then heard him slap her and scream at her. No idea what happened and don't care. My beef was with my husband.
Her husband was livid. He called me back a couple of days later screaming at her to apologize to me. I told him it was fine. I then heard him slap her and scream at her. No idea what happened and don't care. My beef was with my husband.
Anonymous
01/01/2017 12:57
Subject: What did I do wrong?
You slept together. Maybe up your text game to every other day or even daily. That doesn't mean you are getting serious but it will keep you getting ass.
Anonymous
01/01/2017 12:52
Subject: What did I do wrong?
I love all the PPs who are saying that this woman is being clear as day with her communication to OP. What about the countless instances of this woman affirming and agreeing with OP about this not being a serious relationship ? I'd say this woman is sending mixed messages.
Anonymous
01/01/2017 12:20
Subject: What did I do wrong?
Anonymous wrote:Early 30s here. Male. Met a woman on Tinder. We've gone on a few proper but casual dates. One nice dinner (around date #3). Have made it clear (and she's said likewise) that for a variety of reasons (both recently out of serious relationships) that we're in no rush for anything serious. We've slept together on date 3 and the sex has been pretty electric. i'm away for the holidays (she's actually from out of the country and isn't with her family). i hadn't been checking in religiously but we've had some nice text conversations every 4-5 days. tonight she replies to a very nice text I sent her with, "if you want to see me when you return you should text me more than once a week (smiley face wink emoticon)." Did I really do something wrong? I've purposefully been trying to keep it light. We haven't even discussed exclusivity and I'm away for a few weeks visiting my family for the holidays. I feel like her reaction is really telling. Am I wrong to feel like her text is a red flag?
She's basically telling you what she wants. She's making it easy on you really...
ZachF
01/01/2017 12:09
Subject: What did I do wrong?
Anonymous wrote:How dumb are you OP
He's really dumb. There is a words to sex ratio and you are in a word deficit as she told you. What more do you need to know? You just started a relationship with sex on the third date and now think you can ignore her for several days? It's amusing how clueless you are.
Anonymous
01/01/2017 04:53
Subject: What did I do wrong?
Anonymous wrote:Female here---I'm in a similar new relationship. We've been out on 3 dates but no sex yet. We've been seeing each other for about a month. Due to family and work commitments, more dates just haven't been on the table. This week has been terrible.
However, I wake up every morning to a hello text. I get a how's your day going text sometime in the middle of the day, and I get some sort of goodnight text.
He's not overbearing. But I know he's interested.
So sweet.
Anonymous
12/31/2016 18:07
Subject: What did I do wrong?
Op, could you see yourself dating this woman? If so, step it up and date her. See what happens. I know people who slept together early on- after meeting online- who ended up married. There really aren't any hard and fast rules in dating anymore.
Sounds like she likes you and would like to see more of you. Doesn't mean she wants to marry you tomorrow and have your babies, just that she likes what she knows so far. She is encouraging you. The appropriate response would be something like, "are you free sometime this week?"
Sounds like she likes you and would like to see more of you. Doesn't mean she wants to marry you tomorrow and have your babies, just that she likes what she knows so far. She is encouraging you. The appropriate response would be something like, "are you free sometime this week?"