My husbands dad is not involved. We just tell our kids that he lives really far away. 2 hours-- but to a 3 year old that is really far. I think you are over thinking it right now!

Anonymous wrote:My mom had a relationship with a married man and got pregnant with me. After thirty years, I contacted him and we talked for awhile. After a bunch of promises to meet with me, he has found excuses not to. He alleged that his wife has dementia, so I stopped pressing and eventually caring.

Now my three-year old is asking about my dad. I don't have time for this dysfunctional nonsense. If your AP has a baby, what is the protocol? I'm really not interested in covering for a deadbeat?

To make it more interesting, her does have a daughter. I never contacted her, but maybe she could help move this forward?

A three year old?

Anonymous wrote:Obviously, you were not a love child or your father would want a relationship with you. If your mother was not married when you were born, you know what you are and "love child" is just a euphemism for the B word.

I hope you are a troll.

OP has an unreasonable hang-up about her illegitimacy for sure but with attitudes like yours, she might be justified.

Obviously, you were not a love child or your father would want a relationship with you. If your mother was not married when you were born, you know what you are and "love child" is just a euphemism for the B word.

Better yet, explain to your previous 3yo how your mother was screwing around with a married man and got pregnant. I'm sure she will understand.

Anonymous wrote:drama llama, you are

This. OP, you are fixated on your feelings and not at all interested in what your three year old wants for an answer. Lots of PPs have given you useful suggestions on that front.

Anonymous wrote:Why? Are you insane? 3 year old? Are you starting to drink before the holidays? I recommend Prozac immediately so you don't mess up your kid now and later.

WTF is a "love child"? OP means out of wedlock, using no condom?

drama llama, you are

I have a maternal relative whose Mom was a secretary for a bigshot lawyer in our town. They had an affair, and my relative is the result.

They never told him. The relative knew the lawyer as a close family friend, someone who would work pro bono for any member of the family just because, would let these relatives use their beach house, etc. The relative's Mom also went to graduate school as a single Mom--I think as part of the "agreement".

Why do I know? One day my Dad was discussing something else with my very perceptive sister, and blurted it out. My sister said "Really!!!!???" My sister says Dad went white as he envisioned our Mom's rage, and told her to please DON'T SAY NUTHIN.