Anonymous
Post 12/21/2016 11:37     Subject: Re:When he turns it down
Anonymous wrote:I'm in the same boat -- here's what I think is causing this in my relationship: #1 -- my weight gain after having children. He is just not into my body anymore and let's face it, I'm not into my body either, but I'm working on it. #2 -- my resentment toward him. Having young children early in our marriage has just done a doozy on our relationship. I do the lions share of parenting and household management and I'm usually super pissed off about it. #3 -- laziness (or tired). He doesn't want to try. He wants me to do ALL of the work, he just wants to lay on his back and do nothing. #4 -- porn. It's easier for him just to take care of himself without having to try.

Sad. I'm not sure we'll get through this. I've never been a sex matters person, until I stopped having sex. I think in the past 4 years, we've had sex a handful of times.


It's like money, it matters a lot when you don't have it.
Anonymous
Post 12/20/2016 22:18     Subject: Re:When he turns it down
I'm in the same boat -- here's what I think is causing this in my relationship: #1 -- my weight gain after having children. He is just not into my body anymore and let's face it, I'm not into my body either, but I'm working on it. #2 -- my resentment toward him. Having young children early in our marriage has just done a doozy on our relationship. I do the lions share of parenting and household management and I'm usually super pissed off about it. #3 -- laziness (or tired). He doesn't want to try. He wants me to do ALL of the work, he just wants to lay on his back and do nothing. #4 -- porn. It's easier for him just to take care of himself without having to try.

Sad. I'm not sure we'll get through this. I've never been a sex matters person, until I stopped having sex. I think in the past 4 years, we've had sex a handful of times.
Anonymous
Post 12/20/2016 10:49     Subject: When he turns it down
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Read five love languages. There is a catalyst somewhere if health isn't an issue. For example- if his language is words of affirmation, if you said something to him that hurts his feelings he will not want to have sex with you. People where is is important rarely forgive or have a hard time getting over verbal transgressions.

Also, how do you look? If you were 120lbs and how your 190 that could also have something to do with it.


Eh that love languages shit is for the women. When she gets naked, that's speaking the love language of most men.


False. The auto ther confirms it. Not all men are "physical"


I doubt the author says that a man who is getting all the gifts, quality time, words of affirmation, and acts of service he wants BUT NO SEX is going to feel "loved".

On the other hand, give him sex but no gifts, quality time, words of affirmation, and acts of service, and he'll probably be just fine.

So, once again, if you want your man to be happy, get naked.
Anonymous
Post 12/20/2016 10:18     Subject: When he turns it down
My husband's excuse for everything - including low sex drive - is that we have to go to our kids soccer games every weekend.....not sure how that plays out during the off-season, but whatever.....excuses are just excuses, i.e., lies.
Anonymous
Post 12/20/2016 09:46     Subject: When he turns it down
Anonymous wrote:guy here. Pls dnt be offended by your mans behavior. Wife is an absolute knockout but I'm just bored having sex with her. I easily get up for much less attractive women. Guys just get bored screwing the same chick over and over, even if she is a 10.


Disagree! We all have Walter Mitty dreams of banging someone else but that doesn't mean we have the need to do it. If your wife is an absolute knock out and you're bored with her she is likely bored with you. And, if she is a knockout others will be happy to take your place. Use your imagination and mix things up. I've been married a long time, and adore my wife which helps, and once in awhile try to really mix it up. Yes, sometimes the sex can be average at best (but not unfullfilling) but that's to be expected after an estimated 2500 times. We just moved into a new home with a fireplace in the MBR. Last night we "tested" it out doing it on the floor in front of the fire and it was awesome. Sorry, no details can be provided.
Anonymous
Post 12/19/2016 23:52     Subject: When he turns it down
Anonymous wrote:Have you tried changing the oil in the car? Raking the yard? Taking out the trash? Cleaning the gutters?
Maybe he is exhausted and could use a little help around the house


+1

This never gets old.
Anonymous
Post 12/19/2016 21:44     Subject: When he turns it down
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Read five love languages. There is a catalyst somewhere if health isn't an issue. For example- if his language is words of affirmation, if you said something to him that hurts his feelings he will not want to have sex with you. People where is is important rarely forgive or have a hard time getting over verbal transgressions.

Also, how do you look? If you were 120lbs and how your 190 that could also have something to do with it.


Eh that love languages shit is for the women. When she gets naked, that's speaking the love language of most men.


False. The auto ther confirms it. Not all men are "physical"


PP said "most" and you said "all" and PP is correct.
Anonymous
Post 12/19/2016 21:29     Subject: When he turns it down
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Read five love languages. There is a catalyst somewhere if health isn't an issue. For example- if his language is words of affirmation, if you said something to him that hurts his feelings he will not want to have sex with you. People where is is important rarely forgive or have a hard time getting over verbal transgressions.

Also, how do you look? If you were 120lbs and how your 190 that could also have something to do with it.


Eh that love languages shit is for the women. When she gets naked, that's speaking the love language of most men.


False. The auto ther confirms it. Not all men are "physical"
Anonymous
Post 12/19/2016 20:23     Subject: Re:When he turns it down
If this is a gradual change, he may be bored sexually. I am. I still have sex with my wife, I still enjoy sex with my wife, but its very routine. I have suggested spicing things up, always met with an unenthusiastic response. So yes to sex, but more than a couple times a week in the same routine isn't that appealing.

Secondary issues - cheating or gay.
TwistdMike
Post 12/19/2016 20:13     Subject: Re:When he turns it down
I turn her down all the time... face down!
Anonymous
Post 12/19/2016 17:03     Subject: When he turns it down
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:guy here. Pls dnt be offended by your mans behavior. Wife is an absolute knockout but I'm just bored having sex with her. I easily get up for much less attractive women. Guys just get bored screwing the same chick over and over, even if she is a 10.


Sad and frustrating. Talk about mindf**k! What is it about the strange? More adventurous or open-minded or simply different/new?


Steak every night or sometimes some grilled chicken?
Anonymous
Post 12/19/2016 16:55     Subject: When he turns it down
Anonymous wrote:guy here. Pls dnt be offended by your mans behavior. Wife is an absolute knockout but I'm just bored having sex with her. I easily get up for much less attractive women. Guys just get bored screwing the same chick over and over, even if she is a 10.


Sad and frustrating. Talk about mindf**k! What is it about the strange? More adventurous or open-minded or simply different/new?
Anonymous
Post 12/19/2016 16:54     Subject: When he turns it down
Anonymous wrote:Monogamous sex for years and years is kind of a mindfuck. That's reality. Life isn't a fairytale.


Yes, absolutely, but isn't sex initiated by DW better than no sex or less sex?
Anonymous
Post 12/19/2016 13:09     Subject: When he turns it down
If you are in a long term relationship, expect there to be times when you are not both 'on' at the same time. Hormones change a lot over the course of a lifetime. It is not always personal.
Anonymous
Post 12/19/2016 12:51     Subject: When he turns it down
Have you tried changing the oil in the car? Raking the yard? Taking out the trash? Cleaning the gutters?
Maybe he is exhausted and could use a little help around the house