Just be on the watch for eating disorders. My DS had a little bit of belly up to 11yo, and never seemed to mind .. until suddenly, he did. We told him repeatedly that it was a normal pre-puberty process; ped reinforced this too, but DS still felt like he was the only one with extra weight on him. The teasing in MS was merciless and he decided to fix it on his own by not eating. Then he added cutting, which was immediately noticed by the PE teacher. We're a year into therapy and working on re-establishing a healthy relationship for him & food, and trying to help him raise his self esteem. DH & I are avg weight, reasonably fit & have never had any eating disorders. Watching DS descend so quickly into this madness was really scary. MS definitely brought a shift in peer pressure and peer awareness that was toxic for my kid when mixed with body consciousness.

I've seen boys that age develop s tummy and gain weight right before a growth spurt.

Anonymous wrote:I've seen this in multiple 11-13yo boys, right before a growth spurt. As long as he's eating healthy and is reasonably active, I wouldn't worry too much.

Yep. Happened to mine.

Was always skinny (slim jeans with the elastic pulled tightly)

Then in 6th-8th grade he got VERY chubby, and had to switch to husky pants depending on the jeans.

Freshman year he started shooting up, and slimmed out to a 29" waist. This summer, he has grown at least 3 inches and is now in a 28" waist.

I would not stress too much about weight gain between 11-13 years old. That is just the body preparing for puperty.

A lot of the parents who reply to these kinds of puberty weight gain threads are parents of little ones, not teenagers, and they have very unrealistic attitudes of what is normal healthy growty and food intake for teens and kids going through puberty, especially boys. They think they should eat like toddlers or dieting middle aged woman.

Just make sure he is eating more healthy food than not, and keep him busy and active.

This sounds like classic pre puberty/growth spurt weight gain. Ask your MIL how your husband was when he went into puberty or look at pictures of your husband from that age. My husband is very skinny but he had the exact same chub up around 5th-7th grade.

Anonymous wrote:My kid too is getting fat. Yes. That is what it is. I've tried taking away snacks, not having it in house, making healthy food but the girl has to eat. She whines and complains so much when she doesn't get what she wants to eat. I can't take it anymore. Plus we go out a lot, husband is another difficult over weight eater. I can't make a ruckus at a restaurant so pizza and chicken fingers it is. Plus she's in puberty. Now what?

Now you read the previous posts in the thread?

Just don't ask her to wear a swim shirt or you risk being called a horrible parent on here.

My kid too is getting fat. Yes. That is what it is. I've tried taking away snacks, not having it in house, making healthy food but the girl has to eat. She whines and complains so much when she doesn't get what she wants to eat. I can't take it anymore. Plus we go out a lot, husband is another difficult over weight eater. I can't make a ruckus at a restaurant so pizza and chicken fingers it is. Plus she's in puberty. Now what?

Anonymous wrote:My 11 year old DS is pudgy, has been for the past year or so. We don't really eat any processed foods, I cook from scratch 95% of the time, I don't buy junk food, we eat plenty of (organic) fruits, nuts, veg, but he and DD (9) are still pudgy get teased. Both do 2 sports, both go to sleep away camp for a month in the summer - constant activity, no/limited junk food, but don't lose weight...we are not a naturally small/thin people, but are relatively heathy and active.

Explain please because I am at a loss.

People are different - including their bodies. Two people can eat the same, same activity, etc. and have completely different bodies. I have three children raised with the same food, basically the same activity levels, etc. and two are string beans and one is overweight. The overweight one is the most active by a mile. They approach food somewhat differently - and I just know that their biochemistry and psychology is different. It is what it is. Each child will end up with body they are meant for. In the meantime, MY job is to provide structured meals and snacks that are healthy. They decide what to eat and how much at this meals. I also provide opportunities for activity which they have plenty. That is all - that is my job - other than to accept them for who they are.

Can you imagine being rejected by your parents for something you have no control over whatsoever??? Like hair color or eye color or skin color?? This is EXACTLY the same as that, as long as you are doing your job, leave it alone and let it go. Research shows that addressing it directly or restricting food will likely lead to additional weight gain down the road.

Read Ellyn Satter. You can do WAY more damage than help if you approach it in the wrong way, i.e., directly. Please do not tai etch advice of people who do not know what they are talking about.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:he's in middle school and possibly one of the largest boys in his grade. do you think he already knows some people (kids/adults) are judging/laughing at him behind his back? i don't want him to develop any complexity but should we talk to him about it anyway to find out whether it bothers him?

I would not talk to him about whether it bothers him. I would quietly revamp the foods we had in our house to remove junk and replace processed foods with healthier options, and I would build more activity into his day. I

+100 Make sure that the only options at home are healthy options. No cookies, cakes, soda, frozen pizzas... Lots of veggies, fruits, fish and other healthy options. You also want to do active things as a family (bike rides, skating, hikes etc).

you probably will be skeptical but we're already doing all these. he's just a naturally big kid with a big appetite and prefers quieter activites. i'm not going to try to change him, as long as i can be certain he is healthy both physically and physiologically.

I'm all for accepting who you are. But, if his preference for "quite" means sedentary, you need to acknowledge that a sedentary lifestyle is not healthy no matter what your weight. http://www.nchpad.org/403/2216/Sedentary~Lifestyle~is~Dangerous~to~Your~Health
Quit is fine, sedentary is not. Swimming is "quiet" because you are alone in the water. Hiking too once you get off the main drag it's incredibly peaceful. Don't confuse preference for "quiet" with preference for being lazy on the couch watching TV and playing video games or even reading a book. All those things are fine, but you've got to MOVE if you want to be healthy.

can he move more? sure, but a kid still in school is never going to be sedentary like a couch potatoe. there's walking to school, daily PE, obligatory sports practices and house chores, etc., etc. he's not one who heads outside and sweat a ton as soon as he gets home from school and i accept him for who he is.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:he's in middle school and possibly one of the largest boys in his grade. do you think he already knows some people (kids/adults) are judging/laughing at him behind his back? i don't want him to develop any complexity but should we talk to him about it anyway to find out whether it bothers him?

I would not talk to him about whether it bothers him. I would quietly revamp the foods we had in our house to remove junk and replace processed foods with healthier options, and I would build more activity into his day. I

+100 Make sure that the only options at home are healthy options. No cookies, cakes, soda, frozen pizzas... Lots of veggies, fruits, fish and other healthy options. You also want to do active things as a family (bike rides, skating, hikes etc).

you probably will be skeptical but we're already doing all these. he's just a naturally big kid with a big appetite and prefers quieter activites. i'm not going to try to change him, as long as i can be certain he is healthy both physically and physiologically.

I'm all for accepting who you are. But, if his preference for "quite" means sedentary, you need to acknowledge that a sedentary lifestyle is not healthy no matter what your weight. http://www.nchpad.org/403/2216/Sedentary~Lifestyle~is~Dangerous~to~Your~Health
Quit is fine, sedentary is not. Swimming is "quiet" because you are alone in the water. Hiking too once you get off the main drag it's incredibly peaceful. Don't confuse preference for "quiet" with preference for being lazy on the couch watching TV and playing video games or even reading a book. All those things are fine, but you've got to MOVE if you want to be healthy.

Anonymous wrote:OP this is 100% on you and you need to remedy it asap for hour child's future health alone.

are you his ped? if not, back off.

OP this is 100% on you and you need to remedy it asap for hour child's future health alone.

Anonymous wrote:My 11 year old DS is pudgy, has been for the past year or so. We don't really eat any processed foods, I cook from scratch 95% of the time, I don't buy junk food, we eat plenty of (organic) fruits, nuts, veg, but he and DD (9) are still pudgy get teased. Both do 2 sports, both go to sleep away camp for a month in the summer - constant activity, no/limited junk food, but don't lose weight...we are not a naturally small/thin people, but are relatively heathy and active.

Explain please because I am at a loss.

you're not alone, in fact, i don't think you're in the minority either. our bodies come in all sizes and shapes and most are not long and slim. people work to change their natural body, which is fine for adults. kids should learn and love and embrace their natural body first and then alter it when grown.

NP - I'm feeling better about some of these responses. My kid is 9 and in the last couple of months he's been growing "out" and getting a bit of a belly. He'd been a string bean until now, but now he's all chubby. We haven't changed his diet, he's not a snacker, and he eats pretty healthily. I'm hoping he starts shooting up. He just looks so huge to me right now.

My 11 year old DS is pudgy, has been for the past year or so. We don't really eat any processed foods, I cook from scratch 95% of the time, I don't buy junk food, we eat plenty of (organic) fruits, nuts, veg, but he and DD (9) are still pudgy get teased. Both do 2 sports, both go to sleep away camp for a month in the summer - constant activity, no/limited junk food, but don't lose weight...we are not a naturally small/thin people, but are relatively heathy and active.

Explain please because I am at a loss.