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Anonymous wrote:I'm glad you're not my daughter. I have no problem with someone being a SAHM (my daughter is) but to define that as your goal from the get go is sad.

Why? Lots of women have led very fulfilled lives as wives and homemakers. I only wish I'd had the chance myself. My kids suffered. Now I wish I'd provided less in material things and more time and attention. My career, in retrospect, didn't amount to a hill of beans.

Because becoming a SAHM is something decided by partners in the context of a family, not a plan before you have met your husband.

Meh. People who know who they are before they get married can be honest about what they want and work towards finding a partner who can compliment that. OP might be a gold digger.
However, the implication that women who decide they want to be stay at home moms before they get married are somehow flawed is a narrow minded one.

A man is not a plan. Marriage and motherhood are relationships, not a career.

What is a good plan or a good career? Why is that plan or career so much better than wanting to stay home with your kids when they are young?

Because life throws things at you. Because if you are not able to be self-sufficient, you are at risk of poverty if something goes wrong with your marriage. Because motherhood lasts about 20 years and your adult life is much longer than that.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to SAH with your kids for a time. But it is not a life plan.

Life throws things at everybody. Poverty should not last long if you are smart and can go back to school if divorce should happen. Being a stay at home may not be a life plan, but it can be a very good 20 year plan for the right person. And at 22, 23,24, 25-30, a 20 year plan is a life plan. You can always figure out the rest later.

NP here I guess it's because I've known many women with this plan and without fail they are either divorced with kids and struggling or married to guys that aren't bad, but aren't great and wishing they had chosedn differently but won't do anything differently now that they have kids.

I know women like this too, and I can honestly say that they would be struggling if they did not stay at home. Some of the excuses they make for not gong back to school when the kids are older/when the marriage failed are not very good. Some people will struggle in life regardless of the decisions they make.

Just like some will not, regardless of whether they stayed home or worked.

Anonymous wrote:I want to marry a career oriented guy who makes the big bucks. I want to stay home and watch the kids and pusue hobbies and never worry about money.

Where can I meet such a guy and be desirable to him?

I am 30 and pretty attractive.

Go to a bar close to K street where Law firm associates come for a drink and spread you legs

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Anonymous wrote:I'm glad you're not my daughter. I have no problem with someone being a SAHM (my daughter is) but to define that as your goal from the get go is sad.

Why? Lots of women have led very fulfilled lives as wives and homemakers. I only wish I'd had the chance myself. My kids suffered. Now I wish I'd provided less in material things and more time and attention. My career, in retrospect, didn't amount to a hill of beans.

Because becoming a SAHM is something decided by partners in the context of a family, not a plan before you have met your husband.

Meh. People who know who they are before they get married can be honest about what they want and work towards finding a partner who can compliment that. OP might be a gold digger.
However, the implication that women who decide they want to be stay at home moms before they get married are somehow flawed is a narrow minded one.

A man is not a plan. Marriage and motherhood are relationships, not a career.

Some people want jobs not careers. I want to pay bills without giving my soul to the office. Unfortunately, I discovered that after I spent a ridiculous amount of time and money training for a career.

That's fine. I am a lawyer and feel the same way. The point is, we can support ourselves. Which IMO is an essential life skill regardless of whether you SAH.

Do you agree that if you stayed home, you could easily train for a job if anything happened to the marriage or to your husband? For example, my mother went to nursing school at 45 and makes 100k now as a manager.

Sure but why not make it easier on yourself go to school and start a career and then get married and have kids? It's what my mom did ( and I'm doing ) and neither of us waited till 40s to do either of those things.

Because going to school now is not the right decision for everyone. I went to too much school and the student debt is preventing me from staying home. If I had known earlier that I wanted to stay home, I would have stopped at my first degree and gone back when my children are older.

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm glad you're not my daughter. I have no problem with someone being a SAHM (my daughter is) but to define that as your goal from the get go is sad.

Why? Lots of women have led very fulfilled lives as wives and homemakers. I only wish I'd had the chance myself. My kids suffered. Now I wish I'd provided less in material things and more time and attention. My career, in retrospect, didn't amount to a hill of beans.

Because becoming a SAHM is something decided by partners in the context of a family, not a plan before you have met your husband.

Meh. People who know who they are before they get married can be honest about what they want and work towards finding a partner who can compliment that. OP might be a gold digger.
However, the implication that women who decide they want to be stay at home moms before they get married are somehow flawed is a narrow minded one.

A man is not a plan. Marriage and motherhood are relationships, not a career.

What is a good plan or a good career? Why is that plan or career so much better than wanting to stay home with your kids when they are young?

Because life throws things at you. Because if you are not able to be self-sufficient, you are at risk of poverty if something goes wrong with your marriage. Because motherhood lasts about 20 years and your adult life is much longer than that.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to SAH with your kids for a time. But it is not a life plan.

Life throws things at everybody. Poverty should not last long if you are smart and can go back to school if divorce should happen. Being a stay at home may not be a life plan, but it can be a very good 20 year plan for the right person. And at 22, 23,24, 25-30, a 20 year plan is a life plan. You can always figure out the rest later.

NP here I guess it's because I've known many women with this plan and without fail they are either divorced with kids and struggling or married to guys that aren't bad, but aren't great and wishing they had chosedn differently but won't do anything differently now that they have kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm glad you're not my daughter. I have no problem with someone being a SAHM (my daughter is) but to define that as your goal from the get go is sad.

Why? Lots of women have led very fulfilled lives as wives and homemakers. I only wish I'd had the chance myself. My kids suffered. Now I wish I'd provided less in material things and more time and attention. My career, in retrospect, didn't amount to a hill of beans.

Because becoming a SAHM is something decided by partners in the context of a family, not a plan before you have met your husband.

Meh. People who know who they are before they get married can be honest about what they want and work towards finding a partner who can compliment that. OP might be a gold digger.
However, the implication that women who decide they want to be stay at home moms before they get married are somehow flawed is a narrow minded one.

A man is not a plan. Marriage and motherhood are relationships, not a career.

Some people want jobs not careers. I want to pay bills without giving my soul to the office. Unfortunately, I discovered that after I spent a ridiculous amount of time and money training for a career.

That's fine. I am a lawyer and feel the same way. The point is, we can support ourselves. Which IMO is an essential life skill regardless of whether you SAH.

Do you agree that if you stayed home, you could easily train for a job if anything happened to the marriage or to your husband? For example, my mother went to nursing school at 45 and makes 100k now as a manager.

Sure but why not make it easier on yourself go to school and start a career and then get married and have kids? It's what my mom did ( and I'm doing ) and neither of us waited till 40s to do either of those things.

Anonymous wrote:I want to marry a career oriented guy who makes the big bucks. I want to stay home and watch the kids and pusue hobbies and never worry about money.

Where can I meet such a guy and be desirable to him?

I am 30 and pretty attractive.

Got to be more than pretty attractive. If you're not in your mid twenties and at least a 9/10 you're not getting anything. Most guys see through that. At your age you might be a fun romp in sack for a weekend but other than that you're not going to have any luck.

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Anonymous wrote:I'm glad you're not my daughter. I have no problem with someone being a SAHM (my daughter is) but to define that as your goal from the get go is sad.

Why? Lots of women have led very fulfilled lives as wives and homemakers. I only wish I'd had the chance myself. My kids suffered. Now I wish I'd provided less in material things and more time and attention. My career, in retrospect, didn't amount to a hill of beans.

Because becoming a SAHM is something decided by partners in the context of a family, not a plan before you have met your husband.

Meh. People who know who they are before they get married can be honest about what they want and work towards finding a partner who can compliment that. OP might be a gold digger.
However, the implication that women who decide they want to be stay at home moms before they get married are somehow flawed is a narrow minded one.

A man is not a plan. Marriage and motherhood are relationships, not a career.

Some people want jobs not careers. I want to pay bills without giving my soul to the office. Unfortunately, I discovered that after I spent a ridiculous amount of time and money training for a career.

That's fine. I am a lawyer and feel the same way. The point is, we can support ourselves. Which IMO is an essential life skill regardless of whether you SAH.

Do you agree that if you stayed home, you could easily train for a job if anything happened to the marriage or to your husband? For example, my mother went to nursing school at 45 and makes 100k now as a manager.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm glad you're not my daughter. I have no problem with someone being a SAHM (my daughter is) but to define that as your goal from the get go is sad.

Why? Lots of women have led very fulfilled lives as wives and homemakers. I only wish I'd had the chance myself. My kids suffered. Now I wish I'd provided less in material things and more time and attention. My career, in retrospect, didn't amount to a hill of beans.

Because becoming a SAHM is something decided by partners in the context of a family, not a plan before you have met your husband.

Meh. People who know who they are before they get married can be honest about what they want and work towards finding a partner who can compliment that. OP might be a gold digger.
However, the implication that women who decide they want to be stay at home moms before they get married are somehow flawed is a narrow minded one.

A man is not a plan. Marriage and motherhood are relationships, not a career.

Some people want jobs not careers. I want to pay bills without giving my soul to the office. Unfortunately, I discovered that after I spent a ridiculous amount of time and money training for a career.

That's fine. I am a lawyer and feel the same way. The point is, we can support ourselves. Which IMO is an essential life skill regardless of whether you SAH.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm glad you're not my daughter. I have no problem with someone being a SAHM (my daughter is) but to define that as your goal from the get go is sad.

Why? Lots of women have led very fulfilled lives as wives and homemakers. I only wish I'd had the chance myself. My kids suffered. Now I wish I'd provided less in material things and more time and attention. My career, in retrospect, didn't amount to a hill of beans.

Because becoming a SAHM is something decided by partners in the context of a family, not a plan before you have met your husband.

Meh. People who know who they are before they get married can be honest about what they want and work towards finding a partner who can compliment that. OP might be a gold digger.
However, the implication that women who decide they want to be stay at home moms before they get married are somehow flawed is a narrow minded one.

A man is not a plan. Marriage and motherhood are relationships, not a career.

Some people want jobs not careers. I want to pay bills without giving my soul to the office. Unfortunately, I discovered that after I spent a ridiculous amount of time and money training for a career.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm glad you're not my daughter. I have no problem with someone being a SAHM (my daughter is) but to define that as your goal from the get go is sad.

Why? Lots of women have led very fulfilled lives as wives and homemakers. I only wish I'd had the chance myself. My kids suffered. Now I wish I'd provided less in material things and more time and attention. My career, in retrospect, didn't amount to a hill of beans.

Because becoming a SAHM is something decided by partners in the context of a family, not a plan before you have met your husband.

Meh. People who know who they are before they get married can be honest about what they want and work towards finding a partner who can compliment that. OP might be a gold digger.
However, the implication that women who decide they want to be stay at home moms before they get married are somehow flawed is a narrow minded one.

A man is not a plan. Marriage and motherhood are relationships, not a career.

What is a good plan or a good career? Why is that plan or career so much better than wanting to stay home with your kids when they are young?

Because life throws things at you. Because if you are not able to be self-sufficient, you are at risk of poverty if something goes wrong with your marriage. Because motherhood lasts about 20 years and your adult life is much longer than that.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to SAH with your kids for a time. But it is not a life plan.

Life throws things at everybody. Poverty should not last long if you are smart and can go back to school if divorce should happen. Being a stay at home may not be a life plan, but it can be a very good 20 year plan for the right person. And at 22, 23,24, 25-30, a 20 year plan is a life plan. You can always figure out the rest later.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm glad you're not my daughter. I have no problem with someone being a SAHM (my daughter is) but to define that as your goal from the get go is sad.

Why? Lots of women have led very fulfilled lives as wives and homemakers. I only wish I'd had the chance myself. My kids suffered. Now I wish I'd provided less in material things and more time and attention. My career, in retrospect, didn't amount to a hill of beans.

Because becoming a SAHM is something decided by partners in the context of a family, not a plan before you have met your husband.

Meh. People who know who they are before they get married can be honest about what they want and work towards finding a partner who can compliment that. OP might be a gold digger.
However, the implication that women who decide they want to be stay at home moms before they get married are somehow flawed is a narrow minded one.

A man is not a plan. Marriage and motherhood are relationships, not a career.

What is a good plan or a good career? Why is that plan or career so much better than wanting to stay home with your kids when they are young?

Because life throws things at you. Because if you are not able to be self-sufficient, you are at risk of poverty if something goes wrong with your marriage. Because motherhood lasts about 20 years and your adult life is much longer than that.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to SAH with your kids for a time. But it is not a life plan.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm glad you're not my daughter. I have no problem with someone being a SAHM (my daughter is) but to define that as your goal from the get go is sad.

Why? Lots of women have led very fulfilled lives as wives and homemakers. I only wish I'd had the chance myself. My kids suffered. Now I wish I'd provided less in material things and more time and attention. My career, in retrospect, didn't amount to a hill of beans.

Because becoming a SAHM is something decided by partners in the context of a family, not a plan before you have met your husband.

Meh. People who know who they are before they get married can be honest about what they want and work towards finding a partner who can compliment that. OP might be a gold digger.
However, the implication that women who decide they want to be stay at home moms before they get married are somehow flawed is a narrow minded one.

A man is not a plan. Marriage and motherhood are relationships, not a career.

What is a good plan or a good career? Why is that plan or career so much better than wanting to stay home with your kids when they are young?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm glad you're not my daughter. I have no problem with someone being a SAHM (my daughter is) but to define that as your goal from the get go is sad.

Why? Lots of women have led very fulfilled lives as wives and homemakers. I only wish I'd had the chance myself. My kids suffered. Now I wish I'd provided less in material things and more time and attention. My career, in retrospect, didn't amount to a hill of beans.

Because becoming a SAHM is something decided by partners in the context of a family, not a plan before you have met your husband.

Meh. People who know who they are before they get married can be honest about what they want and work towards finding a partner who can compliment that. OP might be a gold digger.
However, the implication that women who decide they want to be stay at home moms before they get married are somehow flawed is a narrow minded one.

A man is not a plan. Marriage and motherhood are relationships, not a career.

Anonymous wrote:OP, what are you bringing to the table? Is your family wealthy? If not, I'd want nothing to do with you since clearly you have no plans to contribute to the family income. I hustled my a** off so I could secure a high paying job and, eventually, raise my children in better circumstances than I had growing up. Trust me, there are plenty of pretty faces and toned bodies who also share similar career ambitions. You'll find someone, but remember that you married a sucker.

Yeah freeloader on dcum. Bet she will find a sucker. Then a couple of uears later she willbe back here bitching about a cheating husband. Then a couple of months later, asking about a divorce. Then, the cycle repeats itself. I call these women- alimony collectors

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I want to marry a career oriented guy who makes the big bucks. I want to stay home and watch the kids and pusue hobbies and never worry about money.

Where can I meet such a guy and be desirable to him?

I am 30 and pretty attractive.

You can meet guys who make "big bucks" by making big bucks yourself. You'll naturally run in the same circles.

+1. I've found that driven men who make money want the same in a partner. They want a lot more than just a pretty face.

This has been a big change over the last 30 years. Doctors want to marry doctors, lawyers want to marry lawyers.

This is def. not necessarily true. I know a few female doctors who had a tough time finding partners since many of the men wanted SAHM types. Although, I have noticed that many of them have ended up with other MDs, it seems like about 50/50.

And doctors really don't make THAT much, especially once you factor in student loans. The really, really ambitious men I've known want a woman with as much drive. Some of them did marry the SAHM or pink collar type but eventually ditch them and usually end up with someone younger and career oriented. I don't think they intentionally wanted to leave for someone younger, I think they really just lost everything they had in common with their wives.

And having money now doesn't mean you'll always have it. I had an older man who was a Multi millionaire pursue me (I was an employee of his). I suspect he had a drug habit, and he ran into really bad financial problems and lost everything. Also had a habit of upgrading his wife every 10-15 years.