Anonymous wrote:No child needs nine large bags if you'd. Hevuscacspoiledvbrst and this is in you. Keep his favorite toys and give rest away. He has to earn toys. Santa should not bring him more than one gift.

Anonymous wrote:Take a deep breath. He's 4, and while he seems big to you, he's actually still very young. I have been frustrated with my kids too, but if you write them off as bad this young, you'll never get them to behave.

Don't throw away the toys. Well, maybe some here are some ideas:

Have him earn back the ones he lost with good behavior. Make it really easy for him to get back so the positive reinforcement has him wanting to behave better.

Cut out screen time (it makes my son a monster).

Make sure he gets lots of outside time (even when it's cold)

Make sure he's getting a good night's sleep. Put him to bed even earlier than you think he should go. Adjust work schedules if you have to. Sleep is huge.

Make sure he's eating enough protein. The American kid diet is packed with carbs and sugar and they can have sugar crashes just like adults.

Give him a lot of adult one on one time. No phone in hand, face to face playing a game, reading books, hiking.

Be consistent with discipline.

Get help--from your kids teachers, from your pediatrician, from books, podcasts, social workers or psychologists. Don't write him off this young.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I read your post and a few thoughts passed through my mind. First of all, I'm sorry this has brought you to your breaking point but consider the fact that this could serve as a pivotal turning point for all of you. It can cause you to re-evaluate your approach to mothering. It's possible that another approach to disciplining him will bring more positive results to your child's behavior.

I personally have zero tolerance for any defiant behavior from a child. Children have a strong self will and need to learn to submit to authority whether they want to or not. This is best done at a young age; in fact the younger the better. The child needs to learn very early on there are negative consequences to negative behavior. That doesn't mean it has to be a spanking on the bare bottom every time, although that approach is extremely effective when done with consistency reserved for defiant behavior, but it can be something that will reinforce who is boss in the household. If the child is not used to an authority figue in his life and is given way to many choices without repercusion, then a parent is growing a monster without even realizing it.

[url]http://bit.ly/2d4yG4n

The attached link takes you to some amazing articles that I believe will give you some confidence in dealing with your son. Take a moment to read them over. I would love to discuss this more with you if you'd like. Sending you a blessing momma.[/quote

Only related to this individual post but heads up - that link goes to some Focus on the Family crap. My mother parented me using Focus on the Family methodologies. I'm almost 40 and I still hate her for it. Her reactions to my behavior seemed irrational and severe even when I was a child. I never knew when I was going to be punished or to what degree of severity - as I got older it only got worse. So consider that when using these methodologies.

I'm neither the PP who posted the FoF link nor the OP, but I did read through the link because hey I need all the help I can get with my own kids. I actually thought the explication of forward-looking discipline vs. backward-looking punishment was helpful and gave me pause to think about a recent interaction I had with my own daughter. I'm sorry to hear about your mother's approach.