Anonymous
11/21/2016 17:27
Subject: Inviting yourself to somebody's Thanksgiving dinner
Happy Thanksgiving OP. Thanks for sharing the ending with us.
Anonymous
11/21/2016 16:02
Subject: Inviting yourself to somebody's Thanksgiving dinner
OP here - not the dramatic ending you all hoped for. I saw him today and he asked me again what I was doing for Thanksgiving and if was I hosting, etc. He didn't remember our conversation and didn't ask about coming to dinner. He either truly didn't remember or is pretending to not remember and gave me an out. The reason I think he truly did not recall our conversation is because he's had issues with memory in the past. I also believe he was being sarcastic and never intended to be serious at the time. He wished me a good holiday and I wish you all a good holiday too.
Anonymous
11/20/2016 20:56
Subject: Inviting yourself to somebody's Thanksgiving dinner
OP, let us know if he shows! Happy Thanksgiving to you either way!
Anonymous
11/20/2016 20:48
Subject: Inviting yourself to somebody's Thanksgiving dinner
If he brings it up again, give him a few things to bring and then add on "oh, and a chair! I wasn't kidding when I said we're tight on space. If you have folding chairs I will need them."
Anonymous
11/20/2016 12:54
Subject: Inviting yourself to somebody's Thanksgiving dinner
OP- Please let us know what happens. I'm curious.
Anonymous
11/19/2016 16:36
Subject: Inviting yourself to somebody's Thanksgiving dinner
I think you suck it up and politely uninvite. Tell him that many members of your family are far left and that you are worried it will be a very bad Thanksgiving since the election is still so new. Pick three people in your family and make it sound like they are nuts and will pick a fight with him. Seriously, I can't think of anything worse than having this guy over for this Thanksgiving.
Anonymous
11/19/2016 16:34
Subject: Inviting yourself to somebody's Thanksgiving dinner
I'm on my own for Thanksgiving and would never invite myself anywhere. It would feel humiliating and so awkward.
If you do disinvite him, don't feel bad. He'll be just fine. There are parades and sappy christmas movies to be watched! Also, Marie Callander makes a really good frozen turkey dinner.
If he does end up coming over, you've done a very kind deed (mitzvah) and I hope he'll be appreciative.
Hope he doesn't expect a repeat performance on christmas.
If you do disinvite him, don't feel bad. He'll be just fine. There are parades and sappy christmas movies to be watched! Also, Marie Callander makes a really good frozen turkey dinner.
If he does end up coming over, you've done a very kind deed (mitzvah) and I hope he'll be appreciative.
Hope he doesn't expect a repeat performance on christmas.
doodlebug
11/19/2016 13:54
Subject: Re:Inviting yourself to somebody's Thanksgiving dinner
He can wonder to himself what he should bring w/o directly asking OP what he should bring.Anonymous wrote:He can wonder to himself what he should bring w/o directly asking OP what he should bring.Anonymous wrote:OP here -
"What are you doing for Thanksgiving?"
"Dinner at home, family and friends coming over"
"I don't have any plans, can I come over?"
"...Sure, I don't have a lot of room.."
"I wonder what I should bring over"
Topic changes
I work with this person, so we know a lot about each other, but do not have a relationship outside of work. I truly do feel bad if he has nobody to spend it with, because that's sad. But his personality is not what I consider enjoyable and to be honest I rather spend it with people I know really well. He does not know where I live but again, we see each other every day he would just ask when the date is closer. If I was in his same situation I would not ask myself to people's homes and just do the sad face and hope for an invitation. However, he's suggested outside work events before, but it never comes close to fruition so I hope this will end up the same way.
I already screwed myself when I said "Sure", so I'm just venting.
OP, you said in your original post that he didn't ask what to bring. Now I'm thinking you're making things up as you go along.
Anonymous
11/19/2016 13:27
Subject: Re:Inviting yourself to somebody's Thanksgiving dinner
Anonymous wrote:OP here -
"What are you doing for Thanksgiving?"
"Dinner at home, family and friends coming over"
"I don't have any plans, can I come over?"
"...Sure, I don't have a lot of room.."
"I wonder what I should bring over"
Topic changes
I work with this person, so we know a lot about each other, but do not have a relationship outside of work. I truly do feel bad if he has nobody to spend it with, because that's sad. But his personality is not what I consider enjoyable and to be honest I rather spend it with people I know really well. He does not know where I live but again, we see each other every day he would just ask when the date is closer. If I was in his same situation I would not ask myself to people's homes and just do the sad face and hope for an invitation. However, he's suggested outside work events before, but it never comes close to fruition so I hope this will end up the same way.
I already screwed myself when I said "Sure", so I'm just venting.
OP, you said in your original post that he didn't ask what to bring. Now I'm thinking you're making things up as you go along.
Anonymous
11/19/2016 13:15
Subject: Re:Inviting yourself to somebody's Thanksgiving dinner
I would just tell him that you had asked some other family members to come but they could not. Lo and behold, fictional BIL or Cousin can make it after all and are flying in with fictional family. Tell him you are sorry but there just won't be enough room at your house this year and that you would not want to subject him to the chaos. Make sure to emphasize how stressful that will be on you so he won't say that he doesn't mind coming. Good luck!
Anonymous
11/19/2016 12:54
Subject: Inviting yourself to somebody's Thanksgiving dinner
Maybe say you've discussed with your family and decided to keep it with the family this year?
Anonymous
11/19/2016 10:13
Subject: Inviting yourself to somebody's Thanksgiving dinner
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:UGH!
Why don't you like him? Can you give some examples?
Agree that you tell him to come close in time to sitting down to eat, and have your family and friends come a little earlier.
The choice is between (A) guilt at disinviting him or (B) dealing with him at your holiday meal. Is there anyone else coming who might hit it off with him?
OP - Since you've asked - your stereotypical Trump supporter, he's really not respectful to women. I have some pretty leftist attendees. The more I Think about it, I think he may just be joking. I will see him next week so in case he's not, I will extend the welcome only if he asks. Nobody will hit if off with him, I'm certain about that. I may do what a pp suggested about asking him to check his xyz behavior at the door.
The problem with doing what you say is that he might just be waiting for you to bring it up again, and so since you're not going to, he could end up alone on Thanksgiving feeling rejected.
It's better that you be proactive. Either politely Uninvite him or tell him about details of when and where for the invite. He needs time to find something else if you uninvited.
I don't know, if he had the balls to invite himself to another person's Thanksgiving dinner and follow up immediately with a "What should I bring?" I think he can it from here on.
*think he can handle it
Anonymous
11/19/2016 10:12
Subject: Inviting yourself to somebody's Thanksgiving dinner
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:UGH!
Why don't you like him? Can you give some examples?
Agree that you tell him to come close in time to sitting down to eat, and have your family and friends come a little earlier.
The choice is between (A) guilt at disinviting him or (B) dealing with him at your holiday meal. Is there anyone else coming who might hit it off with him?
OP - Since you've asked - your stereotypical Trump supporter, he's really not respectful to women. I have some pretty leftist attendees. The more I Think about it, I think he may just be joking. I will see him next week so in case he's not, I will extend the welcome only if he asks. Nobody will hit if off with him, I'm certain about that. I may do what a pp suggested about asking him to check his xyz behavior at the door.
The problem with doing what you say is that he might just be waiting for you to bring it up again, and so since you're not going to, he could end up alone on Thanksgiving feeling rejected.
It's better that you be proactive. Either politely Uninvite him or tell him about details of when and where for the invite. He needs time to find something else if you uninvited.
I don't know, if he had the balls to invite himself to another person's Thanksgiving dinner and follow up immediately with a "What should I bring?" I think he can it from here on.
Anonymous
11/19/2016 09:50
Subject: Inviting yourself to somebody's Thanksgiving dinner
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:UGH!
Why don't you like him? Can you give some examples?
Agree that you tell him to come close in time to sitting down to eat, and have your family and friends come a little earlier.
The choice is between (A) guilt at disinviting him or (B) dealing with him at your holiday meal. Is there anyone else coming who might hit it off with him?
OP - Since you've asked - your stereotypical Trump supporter, he's really not respectful to women. I have some pretty leftist attendees. The more I Think about it, I think he may just be joking. I will see him next week so in case he's not, I will extend the welcome only if he asks. Nobody will hit if off with him, I'm certain about that. I may do what a pp suggested about asking him to check his xyz behavior at the door.
The problem with doing what you say is that he might just be waiting for you to bring it up again, and so since you're not going to, he could end up alone on Thanksgiving feeling rejected.
It's better that you be proactive. Either politely Uninvite him or tell him about details of when and where for the invite. He needs time to find something else if you uninvite.
Anonymous
11/19/2016 08:57
Subject: Inviting yourself to somebody's Thanksgiving dinner
Anonymous wrote:UGH!
Why don't you like him? Can you give some examples?
Agree that you tell him to come close in time to sitting down to eat, and have your family and friends come a little earlier.
The choice is between (A) guilt at disinviting him or (B) dealing with him at your holiday meal. Is there anyone else coming who might hit it off with him?
OP - Since you've asked - your stereotypical Trump supporter, he's really not respectful to women. I have some pretty leftist attendees. The more I Think about it, I think he may just be joking. I will see him next week so in case he's not, I will extend the welcome only if he asks. Nobody will hit if off with him, I'm certain about that. I may do what a pp suggested about asking him to check his xyz behavior at the door.