Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a childhood friend who admitted to me that her daughter lost her virginity at 12. She went to her mom for birth control about a week after turning 13 and said she was going to have sex one way or the other. My friend took her to the doctor who confirmed she was already sexually active. (Also now that I think of it I have no idea why this didn't turn into a legal matter, but it's a southern state, if that matters.) Anyway, despite that part being curious to me, I can't think of why my friend would tell me her daughter was sexually active so young if it wasn't true.

I have another mom friend who I remember used to complain about constantly having to separate her 7th grader and his girlfriend, like physically separate them.

It's on the rarer side but oh yes. It happens. Keep them supervised.

Why would it turn into a legal matter if a 12yo has sex with another 12yo? And are you insinuating that this behavior is tolerated in the south and not in the north?

I didn't think there is a legal problem with this in the South. Everyone remembers Hillary Clinton getting a child rapist off Scott free in Arkansas and the laughing and joking about it during a taped interview.

First of all, this thread is not about politics. Second, if you are going to drag politics into unrelated threads, at least get your facts straight.

^fixed it. Dang phone!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a childhood friend who admitted to me that her daughter lost her virginity at 12. She went to her mom for birth control about a week after turning 13 and said she was going to have sex one way or the other. My friend took her to the doctor who confirmed she was already sexually active. (Also now that I think of it I have no idea why this didn't turn into a legal matter, but it's a southern state, if that matters.) Anyway, despite that part being curious to me, I can't think of why my friend would tell me her daughter was sexually active so young if it wasn't true.

I have another mom friend who I remember used to complain about constantly having to separate her 7th grader and his girlfriend, like physically separate them.

It's on the rarer side but oh yes. It happens. Keep them supervised.

Why would it turn into a legal matter if a 12yo has sex with another 12yo? And are you insinuating that this behavior is tolerated in the south and not in the north?

I didn't think there is a legal problem with this in the South. Everyone remembers Hillary Clinton getting a child rapist off Scott free in Arkansas and the laughing and joking about it during a taped interview.

First of all, this thread is,not about politics. Second, if you are going to drag politics into I related threads, at least get your facts straight.

Anonymous wrote:No, most are 13 at some point during the year. Only summer kids are 12.

Only summer kids are 12 for aall of seventh grade. Unless there are an unusual number of red-shirted kids, kids with birthdays rright after the cut-off, &/or kids who have been held back in a class,the majority of seventh graders are still 12 in early November.

In any case, 12/13 is very young to be drinking & having sex but it is not unheard of nor is it some new phenomenon. Statistically speaking, it's actually less common than it was when most of us were that age.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do any kids have so much time on their hands to have the opportunity to engage in sexual activity at 12 or 13? I blame the parents and not the kids.

How much time do you think it takes?

Yeah, I think the PP is a bit... unrealistic, maybe? Any teen who wants it enough can certainly manage to find time & opportunities for that sort of behavior regardless of most rules parents can have. Perhaps if the kid is homeschooled and never leaves the house without a parent, but otherwise I don't think it's nearly that simple.

Anonymous wrote:Why do any kids have so much time on their hands to have the opportunity to engage in sexual activity at 12 or 13? I blame the parents and not the kids.

How much time do you think it takes?

Anonymous wrote:Why do any kids have so much time on their hands to have the opportunity to engage in sexual activity at 12 or 13? I blame the parents and not the kids.

Really?

Why do any kids have so much time on their hands to have the opportunity to engage in sexual activity at 12 or 13? I blame the parents and not the kids.

I was in 7th in 1976-1977. My DD was in 7th in 2014-2015.

I did not drink or do drugs at that age. I did try cigarettes. I did fool around a bit -- 2nd/3rd base. Looking and touching....

DD, AFAIK, has not done anything.

Why would it turn into a legal matter if a 12yo has sex with another 12yo? And are you insinuating that this behavior is tolerated in the south and not in the north?

I believe the boy in question was 16ish, but that they didn't think the boy was bad and the families knew each other. I just mentioned the legal thing because I remember her telling me the doctor was the one who confirmed she was sexually active, and i wondered if there were some kind of mandatory reporting involved. I guess not, though, since nothing ever happened.

I should have qualified the southern state thing with saying they are also very rural, also as in my friend and her husband didn't go to college (and kind of think it's useless). As in they also don't believe in race mixing and a few other views that I can't say I agree with. All I know is that I would freaking flip my lid if my just turned 13 year old daughter were having sex. Actually, around when she told me about it, I had a very hard time being in touch with her for a while. At the time I had young kids and seriously questioned if my values lined up with hers enough to continue the friendship as adults. I definitely admit I did not think she was being a responsible parent at the time.

How did I meet my friend? She had a single mother who would send her for summers to her grandparents, who lived on my block. We were summer friends for several years.

Anonymous wrote:There's a bunch of seventh graders in my DD's middle school who I see hanging out after school, hanging out late in the neighborhood, late late, lots of boy girl socializing and they look like juniors in high school, not 7th graders. Do the most "sophisticated" for lack of a better word, 7th graders get into this behavior this early? I just cannot get over the sharp change from a year and a half ago when they were still in elementary!

Yes and it isn't a new thing. A friend of mine used to teach at a Middle School in Baltimore, specifically for pre-teen and teen mothers.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not out of the question that some are. I drank with my friends at that age growing up, although I was not sexually active or even had my first kiss until college.

I also found out years after the fact that my now college age daughter had sex for the first time at age 12; she enjoyed the experience at the time and does not regret it or any of her subsequent partners/experiences, so I only feel a little bad for not knowing at the time since she actively tried to hide it from me and clearly handled things fine on her own. Have to admit, that was pretty surprising.

Curious, was her first partner 12 as well or much older?

She just said he was a classmate in her grade, so I would assume within a year or two of her age. To be honest, as soon as I heard it was consensual and not something she needed my help dealing with, I didn't press for further details... 12 years later I didn't particularly want to know unless she wanted to share. The only reason the topic came up was because we were discussing a somewhat similar situation relevant to her younger sister (age 13), and my older DD considered her experiences applicable so decided to tell me as much as she did in order to give me some context for the advice she offered me.

You have to realize that by 13 20% of girls and 5% of boys have been sexually molested and stats show a high incident of early sexual activity when molested.

That does not even include kids raised by drunks, mentally ill, and other personality disorders.

So, yes some 7th graders are sexually active but it is rare and the ones that are sexually active and drinking are acting out. BTW alcohol use at13 is a huge predictor for alcoholism.

I get it ... your 13 sexually active daughter is perfect and there is no way she was molested, but you may want to ask.

12 or 13 is too young. Maybe it turns out ok sometimes but that doesn't mean it's healthy.

Anonymous wrote:It's not out of the question that some are. I drank with my friends at that age growing up, although I was not sexually active or even had my first kiss until college.

I also found out years after the fact that my now college age daughter had sex for the first time at age 12; she enjoyed the experience at the time and does not regret it or any of her subsequent partners/experiences, so I only feel a little bad for not knowing at the time since she actively tried to hide it from me and clearly handled things fine on her own. Have to admit, that was pretty surprising.

Curious, was her first partner 12 as well or much older?

Wow! 12!!!! WTF??? Way too young.