"Single" refers to her marital status, that has no relation to whether or not the dad is involved or she shares custody, it LITERALLY MEANS she is not partnered. How is this hard to understand?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've always thought of single moms as people who are completely on their own taking care of their kids, so the father is totally out of the picture (no child support, no joint custody, etc).

Agree! I use this definition as well. Divorced mom are just that divorced moms who receive child support (and sometimes alimony). Divorced moms are not angle moms because they get a break and don't have the crippling poverty that sometimes comes along with single momhood.

That doesn't make any sense.

I'm a single mom. Never married, never divorced. No one else is named on my kid's birth certificate.

I make a good middle class living for my kid and me. No crippling poverty here.

Does that revoke my single mom card?

What about my single mom friend with the multi million dollar trust fund? Does she lose her card?

I have friends who are divorced, but don't get enough from their ex to keep their head above water -- do they get the single mom card?

Single mom has nothing to do with your income. It has nothing to do with how much your life sucks. My life doesn't suck at all, but I still qualify.

Single mom = mom who is single (not married, not partnered) that is all.

Anonymous wrote:I've always thought of single moms as people who are completely on their own taking care of their kids, so the father is totally out of the picture (no child support, no joint custody, etc).

Agree! I use this definition as well. Divorced mom are just that divorced moms who receive child support (and sometimes alimony). Divorced moms are not angle moms because they get a break and don't have the crippling poverty that sometimes comes along with single momhood.

Anonymous wrote:There are moms who happen to be single but they co parent with ex. I wouldn't call them single moms. Single moms don't get any help with the parenting. There are no regular days off. They also are responsible for running the household, all aspects of it. It's a joke when someone calls herself a single mom be ue her husband travels.

It makes me sad that because my ex has my kids four nights a month and writes a check, some people think I don't "qualify" as a single mom.

I am a single mom because tonight, just as one example, I had to be in two places at once - one child with an unexpected late pick up from an after school activity, another child who needs to go to the dr. Ex husband has better things to do than keep an eye and ear on the phone to be sure kids don't need him tonight. Truth is we did need him, and as usual, he is MIA.

I handled it. Kid with swollen ankle will just have to wait to see the dr. in the morning.

Anonymous wrote:I thought single moms are women who are raising kids on their own, some fully providing all financial needs and other needs, some sharing this responsibility after a divorce or with a father of a child. As in, divorced and single mom, I never thought it had to mean fully financially supporting their kids. So, basically a single woman who has kids. There might be an ex who helps with cost and care, she is still single mom in my mind.

That would be divorced mom.
In my perception, if you get partial care and $ from the dad, not what I thought people meant by saying single mom.

Anonymous wrote:I know a woman who divorced after her children were grown and on their own and she calls herself a "single mom."

23:44 here -

I zero judge anyone who wants to call themselves a "single mom". Who cares. But it is like the Pain Olympics, as a PP put it. I would happily trade in my title for some back-up, time off, financial assistance and co-parenting, more sleep and less worrying about the future. Damn.

I'm proud of what I do and proud of my family, but what's the appeal in calling yourself a "single mom" if you have your kids 50% of the time, or your partner travels? #singlemomgoals? Totally lost on this single mom.

I know a woman who divorced after her children were grown and on their own and she calls herself a "single mom."

Anonymous wrote:Single = Not Married
Mom = Mother to one of more children, with the implication that the children are not yet adults.

I don't care what kind of custody arrangement the mom has. If she is not married, then she is a single mother.

+1 Although to add to your definitions, I assume a "single mom" is one who has primary responsibility for one or more children and there is no other adult/parent in the home (that could be step parent or biological parent). If it is one mom and any number of kids in the home, then that is a "single mom" situation. The mom is the one who has to deal with all of the day to day parenting.

Anonymous wrote:This is like the pain olympics.

Single mom is any mom raising kids on her own, but should a woman with a co-parent say "single mom" we all know what she means. I take zero issue with it, though I am admittedly jealous of the shared responsibility...takes some weight off!

signed,

single mom

Thank you. Why are we doing this to ourselves?

There is little glory to be found in wearing the moniker "single mom". And no joke -it's hard as hell.

I consider myself a single mom because I have sole physical and legal custody of my three kids. My XH is totally out of the picture, by his choice. He calls the kids occasionally, and pays CS sporadically. The kids live with me 24/7, and I am responsible for every decision regarding their health, happiness and welfare. I pay every bill, take them to every school function, playdate, extracurricular activity, doctor's appointment, and go to all the parent meetings, etc. I have little back up other than some of my close friends, and no days or nights off. But my kids are teenagers now, and they are more independent. They are also amazing, well adjusted, smart, kind, and respectful kids. They work hard in school and have great friends. I'm incredibly proud of them. But yeah, it's a hard job.

My exboyfriend is only involved financially. What does that make me?

Single = Not Married
Mom = Mother to one of more children, with the implication that the children are not yet adults.

I don't care what kind of custody arrangement the mom has. If she is not married, then she is a single mother.

I consider myself a single mom. Ex lives nearby but still only sees our kid twice a month, each visit for 48 hours or less. Cancels frequently too.

He pays CS but I could survive without and I pay everything including things that aren't part of the order but that in good faith we should agree to split like extracurricular activities.

He has never taken time off when our kid is sick, hospitalized, has day off of school, has doctor appointments, birthday parties, or needs help with school projects and homework. I manage all of the parent teacher engagement, the dental cleanings, the pharmacy runs, the back to school shopping, and the dreaded hair cuts that turn into tantrums because he hates getting his hair cut.

I'm the disciplinarian, the soother, the person who discusses religion and philosophy, the one to discuss stranger danger and private parts, the one to stitch his teddy bear's arm back on or track down the most awesome Halloween outfit ever.

I've taken my son on countless trips both international and domestic, taught him to appreciate different cultures and test out new foods and customs, painted his room and assembled his furniture.

Yes his dad is in the picture and in lived and financially responsible but I'm the parent that shoulders the most responsibility. Ex wouldn't do it - he prefers things to be as they are. He won't do any extra - no additional visits or other contact between his bi-monthly visits.

I'm a single mom. Some may disagree but I know how much I do and how much of the parenting falls to me even with ex in the picture.

Anonymous wrote:There are moms who happen to be single but they co parent with ex. I wouldn't call them single moms. Single moms don't get any help with the parenting. There are no regular days off. They also are responsible for running the household, all aspects of it. It's a joke when someone calls herself a single mom be ue her husband travels.

this is true.

but i do think moms who co-parent with an ex are single moms.

for me it is simple - a a single mom is a mom who isn't married.

There are moms who happen to be single but they co parent with ex. I wouldn't call them single moms. Single moms don't get any help with the parenting. There are no regular days off. They also are responsible for running the household, all aspects of it. It's a joke when someone calls herself a single mom be ue her husband travels.