Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, if it is heroin, you need to ditch the kid ASAP.

There is no saving a heroin addict. It will just end with pain and suffering for the entire family. Change the locks and don't let him in.

You are wrong. I have family members who have been as low as you would like, who are now clean, sober and well-employed.

Don't you dare tell me I don't know what its like. My 22 year old son is a heroin/multi-drug addict and has been since age 16. If I could have him alive again, I would do ANYTHING. Sadly, the truth is, as soon as he stuck a needle in his veins he was dead. The only thing you can do is kick him out, change the locks, and hold a funeral for the human being he is.

Look at the stats. The only successful method of getting 'clean' is to give them a script for suboxone or methadone, aka legal heroin, to pad the stats. That's not clean, that's just being a legal junkie.

You're just flat out wrong.

I am sorry your child, your family and you have suffered. And a lot of addicts don't make it. And many do. I know quite a few who've been clean and sober for decades. And if you watch TV, you do too.

Anonymous wrote:OP, if it is heroin, you need to ditch the kid ASAP.

There is no saving a heroin addict. It will just end with pain and suffering for the entire family. Change the locks and don't let him in.

You are wrong. And a truly horrible person who should be shunned.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We haven't heard from OP. I wouldn't assume heroin necessarily. Ecstasy is relatively easy to OD on, and it often happens to first time users. A friend's child OD'ed on Ecstasy with a first time use and was in a coma for two days. It was an experimental first time use and not indicative of a deep rooted drug problem. The child, actually a young adult, recovered well.

Fair enough. But if this was a first-time ecstasy user OD, social rejection seems pretty extreme as well.

Am the PP. Have posted twice that OP should not say anything to anyone. That holds whether it was ecstasy or heroin. If OP feels a need to talk about it she should do so only in an NarAnon or AlAnon meeting.

You really, really cannot trust anyone to not misuse this information to the detriment of your child, and this includes family members. The latter should to be told only if you need to call upon them for financial resources. And, by the way, it is not OP's story to tell; it is the child's.

+1

+2. OP, discretion is key here. Get the child the needed help, absolutely! But do it in a way that minimizes unnecessary sharing of the details. Drug use is taken very, very seriously now. Protect your child's and your family's reputations & futures in addition to protecting your child's health.

Sheesh, this seems like some really misplaced priorities. "Protect your family's reputations" and "discretion is key"? No, THE priority is the health of the child who overdosed.

I am thinking you likely have not been there, done that.

Yes, your child's health is paramount. But if the child survives an OD you are over the worst hurdle. Then you look at various follow up options. NONE of this requires telling anyone anything except for immediate care providers.

Your next priority is safeguarding your child's future. This requires absolute discretion. It is NOT about the family's reputation. It is about not having this adversely affect your child's chances of a successful life. Huge numbers of doors would become closed to him or her because of mistakes made as a teenager.

Which doors? I suspect you are just as stoned as the kid. Geez.

Security clearance? Not closed
CIA? Not closed
NSA? Not closed
Finance? Not closed (there'd be no one there)
Medicine? Not closed

What doors?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, if it is heroin, you need to ditch the kid ASAP.

There is no saving a heroin addict. It will just end with pain and suffering for the entire family. Change the locks and don't let him in.

You are wrong. I have family members who have been as low as you would like, who are now clean, sober and well-employed.

Don't you dare tell me I don't know what its like. My 22 year old son is a heroin/multi-drug addict and has been since age 16. If I could have him alive again, I would do ANYTHING. Sadly, the truth is, as soon as he stuck a needle in his veins he was dead. The only thing you can do is kick him out, change the locks, and hold a funeral for the human being he is.

Look at the stats. The only successful method of getting 'clean' is to give them a script for suboxone or methadone, aka legal heroin, to pad the stats. That's not clean, that's just being a legal junkie.

Anonymous wrote:OP, if it is heroin, you need to ditch the kid ASAP.

There is no saving a heroin addict. It will just end with pain and suffering for the entire family. Change the locks and don't let him in.

You are wrong. I have family members who have been as low as you would like, who are now clean, sober and well-employed.

OP, if it is heroin, you need to ditch the kid ASAP.

There is no saving a heroin addict. It will just end with pain and suffering for the entire family. Change the locks and don't let him in.

Anonymous wrote:Sorry--have BTDT. Have been with my child seizing while heart rate dropped to ten beats a minute wondering if the EMTs would ever make it in time with their Narcan. This may not have been your absolute low point, but it was mine.

I have told no one about this or the addiction problem other than immediate care providers. Child has made excellent recovery and is in college getting nearly all As with heavy STEM course load. The planned career path would be challenging with a history of drug use.

I suppose I could have unloaded on everyone I know that but for Narcan I would have a dead child or some of the worst of the addiction period but it would have been profoundly unproductive.

I would have lost my child's trust--which ultimately, as child liberally acknowledges, allowed me to pull child out of addiction. Think about it--this is your child's health problem; it really isn't yours to share. Beyond that, what good would it have done? There are way too many people out there just dying to hear the worst about your child so they can feel better about theirs and you can bet none of them believe in redemption, of which my child is living (emphasis) proof.

Firstly, I'm thankful that your child has recovered and is doing well.

Honestly, I think we're mostly in agreement here, especially when it comes to getting the child necessary medical help.

It seems like we're debating a really tertiary point as it relates to the recovery process, and the conversation is muddied on the anonymous board because it's hard to tell who is who. I'm not sure who was advocating "share your child's health problem with everyone"--I agree that it doesn't seem necessary. My point of contention arose with the poster that said "protect your family and child's reputation" and the level of importance that some posters seemed to place on their child's job prospects down the line. It would never occur to me to "unload to everyone I know..." about the issue, so I'm not sure how that even came up. With that said, I also think it may be indicative of the type of company you keep and circles you run in if you were to confide with a close friend about your situation, and then would have to fear for your child's career prospects a decade down the line. Or that you surround yourself with people who are dying to hear the worst about your child....I feel sorry for you, and mostly your child. I also fail to see the concrete connection between a teenage health issue and how it would completely damage their career prospects down the line, assuming they've recovered and stabilized. Medical records are sealed, employers don't see high school counselor records etc., and there are STEM jobs all across the nation and world.

I do acknowledge and appreciate, though, that everyone's situation is different and those experiences shape their views on a topic like this, so I'm not dismissing yours as invalid.

Our situations also aren't apples-to-apples...I am the poster who went to one of the MOCO W schools, who saw lots of kids struggle with addiction with opiates. My best friend, an extremely high performer and all-around likable guy, started the cycle of addiction in HS, stabilized in college, and then got back into it post-college. Contrary to what you're very concerned about, he easily procured a job at a top consulting firm (due to his college accomplishments) and by all superficial appearances, was doing well. When I uncovered the depths of his relapse (he broke down to me, desperate, scared, physically ill and addicted), I advocated for an intervention with his family. Guess what there first question was: "what about his job?" And that was the reaction of others who heard about the situation..."wow, I can't believe he's going to mess up that opportunity." They didn't seem to understand (or care?) his situation was dire and a matter of life or death, and unfortunately the situation ended in the latter as he passed away. So when I read about kids in similar situations, and people (especially parents) bring up job prospects and reputations, it really strikes a nerve and I can't help but think about misplaced life priorities and how the hyper-competitive, pressure cooker, superficially focused DMV environment contributes to these problems.

I do appreciate the conversation and wish the best for you and your child moving forward...here's to a happy, healthy, and fulfilling life.

Sorry--have BTDT. Have been with my child seizing while heart rate dropped to ten beats a minute wondering if the EMTs would ever make it in time with their Narcan. This may not have been your absolute low point, but it was mine.

I have told no one about this or the addiction problem other than immediate care providers. Child has made excellent recovery and is in college getting nearly all As with heavy STEM course load. The planned career path would be challenging with a history of drug use.

I suppose I could have unloaded on everyone I know that but for Narcan I would have a dead child or some of the worst of the addiction period but it would have been profoundly unproductive.

I would have lost my child's trust--which ultimately, as child liberally acknowledges, allowed me to pull child out of addiction. Think about it--this is your child's health problem; it really isn't yours to share. Beyond that, what good would it have done? There are way too many people out there just dying to hear the worst about your child so they can feel better about theirs and you can bet none of them believe in redemption, of which my child is living (emphasis) proof.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We haven't heard from OP. I wouldn't assume heroin necessarily. Ecstasy is relatively easy to OD on, and it often happens to first time users. A friend's child OD'ed on Ecstasy with a first time use and was in a coma for two days. It was an experimental first time use and not indicative of a deep rooted drug problem. The child, actually a young adult, recovered well.

Fair enough. But if this was a first-time ecstasy user OD, social rejection seems pretty extreme as well.

Am the PP. Have posted twice that OP should not say anything to anyone. That holds whether it was ecstasy or heroin. If OP feels a need to talk about it she should do so only in an NarAnon or AlAnon meeting.

You really, really cannot trust anyone to not misuse this information to the detriment of your child, and this includes family members. The latter should to be told only if you need to call upon them for financial resources. And, by the way, it is not OP's story to tell; it is the child's.

+1

+2. OP, discretion is key here. Get the child the needed help, absolutely! But do it in a way that minimizes unnecessary sharing of the details. Drug use is taken very, very seriously now. Protect your child's and your family's reputations & futures in addition to protecting your child's health.

Sheesh, this seems like some really misplaced priorities. "Protect your family's reputations" and "discretion is key"? No, THE priority is the health of the child who overdosed.

I am thinking you likely have not been there, done that.

Yes, your child's health is paramount. But if the child survives an OD you are over the worst hurdle. Then you look at various follow up options. NONE of this requires telling anyone anything except for immediate care providers.

Your next priority is safeguarding your child's future. This requires absolute discretion. It is NOT about the family's reputation. It is about not having this adversely affect your child's chances of a successful life. Huge numbers of doors would become closed to him or her because of mistakes made as a teenager.

I have been there, done that. The bolded statement above illustrates to me you don't understand the potential grips of addiction. Surviving an OD doesn't necessarily mean you're over the worst hurdle, and can likely mean that you've just seen the tip of the iceberg--which can manifest itself as a LIFELONG BATTLE for sobriety.

Who the F cares if your CEO neighbor won't give little Johnny an internship in 8 years, if little Johnny doesn't make it to 24?

This "protect your family's reputation" and your "child's future" is a pathetic display of the DC pressure-cooker mentality.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We haven't heard from OP. I wouldn't assume heroin necessarily. Ecstasy is relatively easy to OD on, and it often happens to first time users. A friend's child OD'ed on Ecstasy with a first time use and was in a coma for two days. It was an experimental first time use and not indicative of a deep rooted drug problem. The child, actually a young adult, recovered well.

Fair enough. But if this was a first-time ecstasy user OD, social rejection seems pretty extreme as well.

Am the PP. Have posted twice that OP should not say anything to anyone. That holds whether it was ecstasy or heroin. If OP feels a need to talk about it she should do so only in an NarAnon or AlAnon meeting.

You really, really cannot trust anyone to not misuse this information to the detriment of your child, and this includes family members. The latter should to be told only if you need to call upon them for financial resources. And, by the way, it is not OP's story to tell; it is the child's.

+1

+2. OP, discretion is key here. Get the child the needed help, absolutely! But do it in a way that minimizes unnecessary sharing of the details. Drug use is taken very, very seriously now. Protect your child's and your family's reputations & futures in addition to protecting your child's health.

Sheesh, this seems like some really misplaced priorities. "Protect your family's reputations" and "discretion is key"? No, THE priority is the health of the child who overdosed.

I am thinking you likely have not been there, done that.

Yes, your child's health is paramount. But if the child survives an OD you are over the worst hurdle. Then you look at various follow up options. NONE of this requires telling anyone anything except for immediate care providers.

Your next priority is safeguarding your child's future. This requires absolute discretion. It is NOT about the family's reputation. It is about not having this adversely affect your child's chances of a successful life. Huge numbers of doors would become closed to him or her because of mistakes made as a teenager.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We haven't heard from OP. I wouldn't assume heroin necessarily. Ecstasy is relatively easy to OD on, and it often happens to first time users. A friend's child OD'ed on Ecstasy with a first time use and was in a coma for two days. It was an experimental first time use and not indicative of a deep rooted drug problem. The child, actually a young adult, recovered well.

Fair enough. But if this was a first-time ecstasy user OD, social rejection seems pretty extreme as well.

Am the PP. Have posted twice that OP should not say anything to anyone. That holds whether it was ecstasy or heroin. If OP feels a need to talk about it she should do so only in an NarAnon or AlAnon meeting.

You really, really cannot trust anyone to not misuse this information to the detriment of your child, and this includes family members. The latter should to be told only if you need to call upon them for financial resources. And, by the way, it is not OP's story to tell; it is the child's.

+1

+2. OP, discretion is key here. Get the child the needed help, absolutely! But do it in a way that minimizes unnecessary sharing of the details. Drug use is taken very, very seriously now. Protect your child's and your family's reputations & futures in addition to protecting your child's health.

Sheesh, this seems like some really misplaced priorities. "Protect your family's reputations" and "discretion is key"? No, THE priority is the health of the child who overdosed.

There can be multiple priorities at once in a given situation. I said upfront and first thing is to protect the child's health. But this child also deserves a future that's hurt as little as possible by this incident. That's misplaced priorities?

I don't have any advice for you, Op. I've never been through this. I just wanted to say how very sorry I am that you and your son are going through this. It is so easy for kids to find themselves in way over their heads.

As far as a new routine goes - maybe talk to the people at the hospital. They have experience with this.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We haven't heard from OP. I wouldn't assume heroin necessarily. Ecstasy is relatively easy to OD on, and it often happens to first time users. A friend's child OD'ed on Ecstasy with a first time use and was in a coma for two days. It was an experimental first time use and not indicative of a deep rooted drug problem. The child, actually a young adult, recovered well.

Fair enough. But if this was a first-time ecstasy user OD, social rejection seems pretty extreme as well.

Am the PP. Have posted twice that OP should not say anything to anyone. That holds whether it was ecstasy or heroin. If OP feels a need to talk about it she should do so only in an NarAnon or AlAnon meeting.

You really, really cannot trust anyone to not misuse this information to the detriment of your child, and this includes family members. The latter should to be told only if you need to call upon them for financial resources. And, by the way, it is not OP's story to tell; it is the child's.

+1

+2. OP, discretion is key here. Get the child the needed help, absolutely! But do it in a way that minimizes unnecessary sharing of the details. Drug use is taken very, very seriously now. Protect your child's and your family's reputations & futures in addition to protecting your child's health.

Sheesh, this seems like some really misplaced priorities. "Protect your family's reputations" and "discretion is key"? No, THE priority is the health of the child who overdosed.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We haven't heard from OP. I wouldn't assume heroin necessarily. Ecstasy is relatively easy to OD on, and it often happens to first time users. A friend's child OD'ed on Ecstasy with a first time use and was in a coma for two days. It was an experimental first time use and not indicative of a deep rooted drug problem. The child, actually a young adult, recovered well.

Fair enough. But if this was a first-time ecstasy user OD, social rejection seems pretty extreme as well.

Am the PP. Have posted twice that OP should not say anything to anyone. That holds whether it was ecstasy or heroin. If OP feels a need to talk about it she should do so only in an NarAnon or AlAnon meeting.

You really, really cannot trust anyone to not misuse this information to the detriment of your child, and this includes family members. The latter should to be told only if you need to call upon them for financial resources. And, by the way, it is not OP's story to tell; it is the child's.

+1

+2. OP, discretion is key here. Get the child the needed help, absolutely! But do it in a way that minimizes unnecessary sharing of the details. Drug use is taken very, very seriously now. Protect your child's and your family's reputations & futures in addition to protecting your child's health.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We haven't heard from OP. I wouldn't assume heroin necessarily. Ecstasy is relatively easy to OD on, and it often happens to first time users. A friend's child OD'ed on Ecstasy with a first time use and was in a coma for two days. It was an experimental first time use and not indicative of a deep rooted drug problem. The child, actually a young adult, recovered well.

Fair enough. But if this was a first-time ecstasy user OD, social rejection seems pretty extreme as well.

Am the PP. Have posted twice that OP should not say anything to anyone. That holds whether it was ecstasy or heroin. If OP feels a need to talk about it she should do so only in an NarAnon or AlAnon meeting.

You really, really cannot trust anyone to not misuse this information to the detriment of your child, and this includes family members. The latter should to be told only if you need to call upon them for financial resources. And, by the way, it is not OP's story to tell; it is the child's.

+1