kudos to your daughter. a smart cookie who knows when to speak up, even to an adult. give that girl a gold star. there will always be people with mouths bigger than theirs brains -- she just learned it sooner than most people do.

Tell her to own it. Good for her!

OP - You are doing a great job raising a responsible teen!! Your daughter was 100% in the right. That Dad is not only not obeying driving rules, but he is showing his DD by his actions that talking and texting while driving is just fine....... The one and only rule I have when hiring a college student to do things with my daughter in our community is not to text or talk on the phone while driviing. I never even check references, BUT this rule I stick to as our daughter can tell us what goes on.

Personally, I think you have a duty to let the girl's Mother know what happened as to why your daughter will no longer be carpooling with her daughter because hopefully if the mother will follow up with DH on his texting and driving, hearing it twice will mean something. Given how tweens can be in terms of a group of girls freezing out another girl, I might let the comment about DD go with her, but absolutely let DD know at home that his behavior was completely defensive and inappropriate. Your daughter will also realize that you are putting her safety first by making other arrangements that do not put her in danger.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do NOT let it go without telling other mom "my daughter may be "safety girl" but she's not "dipshit mother".

OP here.

The driver was a dad. Not that it changes anything.

I guess there are two things to get in his face about: 1) Texting and driving in the first place, much less with teens who will be driving themselves in a few years. Great example, Dad! And 2) Cutting down a child. Who does that?

The other question is whether this is similar to being in a drunk driving situation where you tell your kid you can call me anytime, night or day, or take a taxi/uber and I'll pay for it before you get into a car with a drunk driver.

I guess I'll tell DD that. If you're ever in a situation where an adult is texting while driving, ask that you be dropped immediately at a corner and call for a taxi. Although I'm not sure that's safe either (guess it depends on the corner).

Yes, the dad shouldn't have acted like he did. I will say that this experience was a good learning lesson for your daughter. It's not the first time she's going to be mocked in life for wanting to do the "right" thing. I'm not positive she needs her mommy to now follow up on his comment. It's fair and necessary to comment on the no texting while driving, but not the comment. People are going to say rude things to your daughter and her mommy isn't always going to be around to rescue her.

No, having the dad drop her off whenever they happen to be is not a good idea. First off, any normal adult is going to refuse. It's probably way less safe for this to happen and more traumatizing for your child. Yes, texting and driving is dangerous, but it doesn't always result in a horrific car crash.

+1 to this. You can also use this as a jumping off point for further discussion too. Not only that she did the right thing and that she may be mocked for it and should be prepared to have thick skin, but you can bring up situations that might happen in the future like drinking and driving, and then talk about how she can always call you rather than getting into an unsafe car. Adult texting/driving is unsafe, but it's less unsafe than teen drinking/driving.