Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is called gaslighting.

+1.

Is this really true?! If yes, omg, that's a terrible way to treat another person. Horrible.

Dear OP- my DH does this to me and yes it is gaslighting. He is making plans with DD to be the cool dad and leaving you behind as punishment It will continue so do you think he is "done" with being a DH or pissed at you and retaliating? Hi

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This might sound juvenile, but I would one up his game. His concert is tonight, right? I would also go out and be sure to arrive home 3 hours later than him and when he asks where you were, you reply that you told him you were meeting friends.... No arguing, just treat him the same way he is treating you.

This is a good idea.

-1. Not with an abuser. He will flip the script.

Signed,
Been there, done that. Divorcing now.

Yeah, they just flip the script.

That's a scary situation, PP. How do you suppose your husband developed BPD?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel you OP, my husband does the exact same thing to me. My MIL is a psychiatrist and has told me I need to get out, and she is helping me. I know what you are going through, and it's really hard especially if you have kids. You want to stick it out for the kids, but you can't fix a mental disorder if they are not willing to get help. I am literally a shell of my former self from the mental games and abuse I have dealt with for the past 10 years (the first 5 years of our marriage was good, then he turned into a crazy person)

Your husband's mother told you you need to get out, and is helping you? His own mother? Did she say what his issue is, by any chance? This is the strangest thing ever.

She is a psychiatrist herself, and she thinks that he has borderline personality disorder with narcissistic tendencies. She's always sending me books and articles (like Walking on Eggshells, etc.). She's paying for me to see a therapist right now to help with the effects of the abuse (I'm really a shell of my former self) and to help me gain the courage to leave. I love my MIL so, so much. I'm not allowed access to our money at all, she sends me some money every once in a while to my work address, so H won't find out. She recommended I keep a journal, which I have been. She said she would testify in court on my behalf. We have two small children.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This might sound juvenile, but I would one up his game. His concert is tonight, right? I would also go out and be sure to arrive home 3 hours later than him and when he asks where you were, you reply that you told him you were meeting friends.... No arguing, just treat him the same way he is treating you.

This is a good idea.

-1. Not with an abuser. He will flip the script.

Signed,
Been there, done that. Divorcing now.

Op, can you give us more examples?