Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD is turning 8 (2nd grade) and we are planning a party with about 10 kids. She's been in school for the last 3 years with a set of twins, one of whom she gets along with much better than the other. The girls invited will be a mix from her current class (which includes the preferred twin) and friends from her aftercare program. Do we still need to invite the other twin to avoid hurt feelings? Haven't discussed the guest list with DD but I know her first reaction will be to invite only one. Is 7/8 too young to exclude when twins are involved?

Is the twin also a girl? If yes, you should invite both.

This. If boy/girl I wouldn’t invite the boy.

Anonymous wrote:Since several parents of twins posted that there is no need to invite both twins solely because they are twins, I think they have the last word. We followed that advice recently for my 10 year old. Invited both boy twins from one family because my kid was friends with both. For a different set of twins, invited boy twin from class, but not girl twin because she was in a different class and didn’t hang out with my kid. I checked with the mom before, and she assured me that her daughter wouldn’t have wanted to go, so no need to invite. I agree with the parent of twins who said her kids know when it’s an invite out of obligation.

Did the parent of the twin not being invited post here? No? Then I guess the anecdata does not matter.

Anonymous wrote:Omg it's one kid! Why are people so cheap about birthday parties!

Its only blanca people.

Anonymous wrote:I have twins this age. Invite only the one your child is friends with. If the family is like any other multiples family I know, they won't think anything of it and would rather the other twin not receive a token invite to a party where he/she isn't really wanted. Especially if they're not all in the same class, it'll be pretty obvious.

They ARE in the same class… OP should invite both.

Anonymous wrote:You can do whatever you and your daughter want, but if you do not want to invite the other twin, please do explicitly say that siblings/parents not allowed or something of that sort. I am a mom of twins and my kids usually go together as a package deal. Now I am worried I may have sent them to some parties where they were uninvited! :O

Check who the invite was addressed to. “To Twin A” means just bring twin A. “To twin A and B” means both. “To Family of twins A and B” means all of you. You may find this surprising, but there are probably parents out there who don’t realize your child is a twin, so are ignorant to the “package deal”. We had a party in the fall for my 4th grader, and I didn’t realize his classmate was a twin until after the party. I don’t know the parents and the twin is in a different class. And I think you should assume no siblings unless it’s explicitly stated on the invite that siblings welcome, but that’s a whole other debate that has been covered ad nauseam on this forum! Regardless of whether you think people should state it on the invite, as a guest, it’s safer to assume no siblings unless stated. Most venues have a limit and if every kid invited brought 1-2 siblings, suddenly the guest count could balloon to 2-3x the original count.

You can do whatever you and your daughter want, but if you do not want to invite the other twin, please do explicitly say that siblings/parents not allowed or something of that sort. I am a mom of twins and my kids usually go together as a package deal. Now I am worried I may have sent them to some parties where they were uninvited! :O

Since several parents of twins posted that there is no need to invite both twins solely because they are twins, I think they have the last word. We followed that advice recently for my 10 year old. Invited both boy twins from one family because my kid was friends with both. For a different set of twins, invited boy twin from class, but not girl twin because she was in a different class and didn’t hang out with my kid. I checked with the mom before, and she assured me that her daughter wouldn’t have wanted to go, so no need to invite. I agree with the parent of twins who said her kids know when it’s an invite out of obligation.

I dont about middle school, but at 7-8, they are still too young. Friendship is is still a fleeting concept where they are friends with whoever they are playing with that week. I have invited both twins at that age, and would probably invite till there is more definition of friends probably by 5-6 grades (10-12 years old). You are now talking about 2-3 grade, they are really young still.

I think whenever your kid stops being friends with one of them you only invite the one they are friends with. Understand this needing to invite siblings or twins if you're not even friends with them.

We used to have twin boys who were at our bus stop and lived one block over. They were a package. One twin was a sweet kid and the other twin was mean spirited and a disaster. They used to knock on my door to come inside to play. I couldn’t invite just the nice twin so I would say no to both. I didn’t invite them to our parties because I didn’t want to invite the bad twin.

It is one thing if only one twin is in your child’s class or you only know one twin. Then there is no obligation to invite other twin.

Anonymous wrote:As a mother of twins if they have separate friends and they're in separate classes that's fine. But mine are in the same class and are both friends with the person so it would be very hurtful to the one since they're both friends with her who is

Why did you bump a thread from 2016 to answer an ancient question?

As a member of a twin, we are identical so probably different... If they not going I aight going. I am sure it is the same for them too.

How bad is the other twin really? Is it that your DD just doesn't like her because they have nothing in common, or is the other twin outright mean to your DD?

Anonymous wrote:High school. You can invite them separately when they are in high school.

Before that they are too young, and you are setting their mother up to deal with hurt feelings and jealousy.

Bad advice. By 1st grade kids shouldn’t have to invite others who they don’t want to their parties. I say 1st grade.

As a mother of twins if they have separate friends and they're in separate classes that's fine. But mine are in the same class and are both friends with the person so it would be very hurtful to the one since they're both friends with her who is