Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will not let him follow less accomplished friends to a party college. Period. End of story.

The issue is he thinks he's clever enough to get rejected and have to go to the party school, or if he thinks we're bluffing and will pay no matter what.

Let him know that the party school is not an option on the table, and you'll expect him to work part-time and take community college courses for a year and then try again.

Ding, ding ding. This is exactly what you should do.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Party school because that's where a large chunk of his friends are heading. If everything was left up to him it's the only college he'd apply to. Total follower.

You must be a troll or an evil stepmom, because mothers usually don't speak so disparagingly of their own offspring.

I disagree. What's the big problem with having standards for your child? Growing up, if I got any grade less than a 97, I was grounded from TV and going out until the grade came back up, which at the earliest was one quarter. I also played a sport and I was forced to practice every day three seasons of the year. I'd fight my dad so badly on it but he made me do it. Fast forward 20 years and I love my dad and I am so thankful to him for pushing me to be the best. I have no school loans because an academic/athletic combination scholarship paid for my college. I went to a great school and would not have had the options in life that I have had if my dad let me slack off and follow my friends. There is nothing wrong with OP being strict and calling a spade a spade as far as the child's attitude is concerned. This constant enabling and coddling is why the next generation is a bunch of babies.

also, he'll quickly get kicked out if he's only going to school to play. A friend's DD found this out the hard way. She had a full scholarship to a great school in the midwest, did not do any studying and got kicked out after her freshman year. At that point, her grades were so bad, she could not get in anywhere, so had to go to community college and work. That helped her mature. She got all A's in CC, and transferred to an excellent college. Some kids need to grow up. My friend regrets letting her DD go off to college when she knew she wasn't ready. Just because a kid does well in high school doesn't mean that child is ready for college.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Party school because that's where a large chunk of his friends are heading. If everything was left up to him it's the only college he'd apply to. Total follower.

OP, you are paying, so you can tell him he can't go to the party school. He can take a gap year, get a job and try to do some maturing, away from his friends. If he still wants to go to the party school, well, reassess then. But take him around to visit some of the other schools you think might be a better fit for him. Show him, don't tell him. My DD didn't want to go to college at all, but I took her around to a whole bunch of schools, and she started getting excited about applying. There's no reason for you to pay to let him party away your money and waste his time.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Party school because that's where a large chunk of his friends are heading. If everything was left up to him it's the only college he'd apply to. Total follower.

You must be a troll or an evil stepmom, because mothers usually don't speak so disparagingly of their own offspring.

I think it's the dad. I actually feel sorry for OP's son. That is a lot of pressure and disdain coming from a parent.

I agree it is OP. I'm reading the tone more as frustration than disdain.

Oops. I agree Dad is OP. typo.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Party school because that's where a large chunk of his friends are heading. If everything was left up to him it's the only college he'd apply to. Total follower.

You must be a troll or an evil stepmom, because mothers usually don't speak so disparagingly of their own offspring.

I think it's the dad. I actually feel sorry for OP's son. That is a lot of pressure and disdain coming from a parent.

I agree it is OP. I'm reading the tone more as frustration than disdain.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Party school because that's where a large chunk of his friends are heading. If everything was left up to him it's the only college he'd apply to. Total follower.

You must be a troll or an evil stepmom, because mothers usually don't speak so disparagingly of their own offspring.

I think it's the dad. I actually feel sorry for OP's son. That is a lot of pressure and disdain coming from a parent.

Anonymous wrote:Please tell us!! What is this awesome party school? Coastal Carolina? East Stroudsburg? VCU? JMU? Inquiring minds want to know!

I was thinking Frostburg State.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Party school because that's where a large chunk of his friends are heading. If everything was left up to him it's the only college he'd apply to. Total follower.

You must be a troll or an evil stepmom, because mothers usually don't speak so disparagingly of their own offspring.

Anonymous wrote:I know a family where the kid said he applied to schools xyz, but when April rolled around and no letters came (either acceptance or rejection), then the parents discovered he had lied about applying. (I really don't know how he managed to mislead them in the fall).

I also know a family where the kid was off at grad school, parents paying for it, and an entire year went by where the kid had basically dropped out but the parents didn't know and continued to pay and send him room/board.

These are cautionary tales because in both cases, it was the parent's desire -- neither kid wanted to be at school. Not excusing what the kids did, but just relaying what I've seen happen.

That does happen. I know of a family where their son claimed he was in business school when in actuality he dropped out to become a race car driver. He finally fessed up during a big Christmas dinner with the entire family. His parents were initially disappointed but they wanted to support him.

Unfortunately, he was in a crash (during a race no less) a few years later and became paralyzed.

Please tell us!! What is this awesome party school? Coastal Carolina? East Stroudsburg? VCU? JMU? Inquiring minds want to know!

I wouldn't pay $100k+ for a party school. If my daughter pulled this she would be waiting tables next year — from home.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What schools still have interviews that impact admissions?

Most schools strongly encourage interviews. The more interest you show in the school the more interested they are in you.

I definitely agree that many schools strongly encourage interviews, though we were told by a number of those same SLACs that "demonstrated interest" is not a factor in their review.

Anonymous wrote:What schools still have interviews that impact admissions?

Most schools strongly encourage interviews. The more interest you show in the school the more interested they are in you.

One thing you can't do is make kids do anything as is do well. You can encourage and maybe reward good behavior. If he is intentionally doing something you are not happy about he is trying to tell you something. Maybe he is so totally overworked he can't imagine working his butt off in college too. Kids find their place at their own pace and he is not you. Let him test, let him apply and encourage him to go to the best school he can get into based on his scores.