My kids in MoCo public have had 15-17 in grades k-2. Then it goes up to about 24 from 3-5.

The biggest difference is class size. The experience of 12-15 students in a class vs. 24-30.

No one has addressed this angle yet, I don't think.

With older kids (middle school and beyond), you need to think about the peers your kids will be in school with. Combine money with parents who aren't very engaged (and those parents exist), and you get some unsupervised kids with a lot of freedom and a lot of resources. So connect the dots on what that means. I've been genuinely shocked at some of the stuff that's gone on and when I talk to my friends with kids in public, it's less prevalent in public.

Also, I don't think it can be much fun to be "the poor kid" in one of these privates. We don't fall into that bucket, but I do think these kids have a distorted sense of reality at times. The lack of true economic diversity is a negative, in my opinion.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP with a specific angle: anyone with experience in public & private that can speak more to bullying? We're dealing with minor teasing / pushing in 1st grade (public) that I'm concerned will get worse over time.

We had bullying in public and both times (separate schools) the Principal just nipped it in the bud - immediately responsive and talked to the children and the parents.

Have you sought help from the administration? Its a good idea to make contact and be succinct and clear about what is happening. You don't need to embellish with how you feel about it or any of that, just keep to the details. If your child is devastated by it, say so.

We're working with the teacher now, and don't have a problem talking to the principal. DW seems to think that we need to find another school. I don't think that will necessarily change anything, and could make it worse.

My experience with private / parochial schools growing up was pretty similar, with minor bullying. I just don't have any experience that's more recent or in the DC area.

I agree with you. That is a pretty minor thing to change schools over unless the response by a school is terrible. My kid experienced this sort of behavior in private school too. These are children, and they are not perfectly behaved at all times. This is a part of what they are learning, so the key is to see how the school turns that kid around and stops the behavior and how they teach your child to handle difficult peers -- which is a very important life lesson. You will not find a place where no child is ever subjected to teasing and pushing in line, etc. You are looking for a place where the adults understand children and guide both sides of the behavior toward maturity.

Anonymous wrote:NP with a specific angle: anyone with experience in public & private that can speak more to bullying? We're dealing with minor teasing / pushing in 1st grade (public) that I'm concerned will get worse over time.

I'm the PP who wrote about a private PK-6 where I saw a young elementary student totally ostracized by their peers. It wasn't bullying, per se, just constantly refusing to play with the child, not inviting the child to sit with the other kids at lunch. It was nasty, and the administration didn't move on it at all (and I know the mom brought it up).

I also have kids in public, where I've seen minor bullying dealt with very effectively, but major bullying sometimes seems harder to get a handle on. Or, rather, kids with specific behavioural diagnoses that result in dangerous acting out take a LOOOONG time to either be removed or to get the 1-1 aide that they need in order to stop terrorizing their peers.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP with a specific angle: anyone with experience in public & private that can speak more to bullying? We're dealing with minor teasing / pushing in 1st grade (public) that I'm concerned will get worse over time.

We had bullying in public and both times (separate schools) the Principal just nipped it in the bud - immediately responsive and talked to the children and the parents.

Have you sought help from the administration? Its a good idea to make contact and be succinct and clear about what is happening. You don't need to embellish with how you feel about it or any of that, just keep to the details. If your child is devastated by it, say so.

We're working with the teacher now, and don't have a problem talking to the principal. DW seems to think that we need to find another school. I don't think that will necessarily change anything, and could make it worse.

My experience with private / parochial schools growing up was pretty similar, with minor bullying. I just don't have any experience that's more recent or in the DC area.

Anonymous wrote:NP with a specific angle: anyone with experience in public & private that can speak more to bullying? We're dealing with minor teasing / pushing in 1st grade (public) that I'm concerned will get worse over time.

We had bullying in public and both times (separate schools) the Principal just nipped it in the bud - immediately responsive and talked to the children and the parents.

Have you sought help from the administration? Its a good idea to make contact and be succinct and clear about what is happening. You don't need to embellish with how you feel about it or any of that, just keep to the details. If your child is devastated by it, say so.

Anonymous wrote:I think there are things about private that are better..but are they 20 or 30K better?...never been too sure about that. Especially when I read that people are looking for more recess and naps for little kids..

As a parent with two children who started in PK at a "big-3," I agree that it is absurd on the face of it that we have spent $30K/year/kid to ensure that they had more unstructured (but, supervised) outdoor playtime, longer time to eat lunch, and PE daily. However, we understood the tuition as an investment in the long-term education of our children. It is not appropriate and very possibly detrimental for the 4-7 year old set to have so little time to run around outdoors as afforded by the DCPS curriculum. We toured a highly-regarded DCPS for PK, and I left the tour knowing that my 4-year old son would have been miserable and poorly behaved with one or two 20-30-minute recesses daily and PE only once a week. I was impressed by the teachers I met, and the principal, but the curriculum was clearly not made with the optimal school experience for a young child in mind. When I asked about other opportunities for exercise and fresh air, I was told that they offered after-school activities. Having a running club after school does not compensate for the 6-7 hours during the day when the kids need regular intervals of vigorous physical activity in order to learn best. So, we paid the tuition in order to ensure that our children had--every day--nearly two hours of outdoor play, PE, music, arts, science, and math. I also love the fact that our school librarians are dedicated children's librarians (not volunteers), and that my kids love the library and adore the librarians.

If DCPS allowed for more outdoor play time, recess, and PE daily, I seriously would have considered it for our kids.

Anonymous wrote:Everyone should just state which independent school and which public system, or else this conversation is 100 percent useless. If I asked you "what are the benefits of nude pumps vs black pumps with "this dress," you'd need to see the dress for your answer to have any credibility.

To wit, I can guarantee that the math and science offerings at GDS middle and hs are stronger than DCps and moco math and science offerings outside of takoma and Blair magnets. St. John's high school vs bcc ? Maybe a different equation, I wouldn't know.

+1 Love this comparison!
We are parents of Beauvoir kids. I can not speak personally about public school but I can say that we have been very impressed by the kids private school experience thus far. There are many different reasons to chose one over the other, too many to list for purposes of this topic. So much depends on the individual child and the specific schools that are available. Even if public and private school elementary schools are comparable, the same cannot be said for highs school, especially in DC. So, what I think some parents end up doing is sending their kids to private early to ensure that their kids will be in a good private for middle and elementary school. The reality is that while there are a ton of very bright public and private school kids applying to private for middle and high school, if you have your heart set on a specific school, only so many children will be admitted and the probability that one of those kids will be yours is lower and lower the longer you wait to go private.

NP with a specific angle: anyone with experience in public & private that can speak more to bullying? We're dealing with minor teasing / pushing in 1st grade (public) that I'm concerned will get worse over time.

I have one at a private PK-6 and two in MCPS (Blair cluster).

I'm debating how long to leave the one at private, having seen a lot of the older kids from the school at work and play. The private is definitely more developmentally appropriate in terms of recess, snack breaks, etc.

However, the school is TINY and there are a lot of social issues stemming from the same tiny group of kids being thrown together year after year. No one gets a fresh start and kids who are being excluded tend to stay excluded.

It seems to work better for boys, who just punch it out, than for girls, who are masters of social isolation. Because the children are told to "work it out," no one ever steps in and defends the kids being shunned.

So...I don't know. It's insular and easy, and there are lots of parents to pick up the slack, but there are definitely some downsides.

I think there are things about private that are better..but are they 20 or 30K better?...never been too sure about that. Especially when I read that people are looking for more recess and naps for little kids..

Everyone should just state which independent school and which public system, or else this conversation is 100 percent useless. If I asked you "what are the benefits of nude pumps vs black pumps with "this dress," you'd need to see the dress for your answer to have any credibility.

To wit, I can guarantee that the math and science offerings at GDS middle and hs are stronger than DCps and moco math and science offerings outside of takoma and Blair magnets. St. John's high school vs bcc ? Maybe a different equation, I wouldn't know.

I have had experiences in both schools. DC #1 went all the way through in private. DC # 2 decided to go to public starting in 7th grade and is currently in HS.

Differences we have seen:

1) Science and math instruction has been better in public than private. Private school teachers don't seem to have as good a background in math and science education.

2) Writing instruction was better in private. More focus on longer papers and better essay writing skills

3) whether you like private is really dependent on the kids that are in that class. Some classes are just better than others.

4) There were definitely kids in the private school that academically really did not cut it but go there because of family connections or alumni connections.

5) The level of really top students is much higher than at private, just because the pool is greater.

6) Same went for music and art, your peers will be really really good because the pool is greater.

7) Sports are harder to do in public. Only the truly good athletes get to compete. Private gives most kids a chance to be on a team

8) Teacher connections are harder in public, your kid has to be someone willing to speak up. It does teach kids more self reliance but not all ids are able to do that.


I can't say that private or public is better. each has worked for each individual kid. Looking back, I would not have spent the money on k-5 private. MS & HS was what really made the difference for our older child.

Op, of course you're getting one-sided answers here in the private school forum. Post in the public forum if you want to hear the other side.