Anonymous wrote:Gay men and daughter sleepover: maybe.

Gay men and son sleepover: sorry, no way.

This doesn't make any sense.

Anonymous wrote:Dh and I are gay dads with twin elementary age daughters. They haven't been invited to or asked about inviting others to sleepovers, but probably will this year. After reading another thread about no sleepovers with the father present, I said something to dh, who stated that it was normal. I then commented that such a restriction obviously would not apply to us and he disagreed saying that he thought many kids would not stay at our house since we would be there with them.

So, would you let your daughter sleep over at a house where the father was there?
If not (or if not, if only the father) would you feel different if the dads were gay?

I have never heard of no sleepovers if the father is present. I'm a dad, and we host sleepovers frequently. In fact, to my chagrin, dd is hankering for one tonight.

I have been more wary of older brothers.

I cannot imagine gay partners bothering me since gay has nothing to do with pedophilia. Only issue would be comfort level with you as individuals -- if I don't know you, I'm going to have more hesitation than if I do.

Anonymous wrote:Gay men and daughter sleepover: maybe.

Gay men and son sleepover: sorry, no way.

Anonymous wrote:Gay men and daughter sleepover: maybe.

Gay men and son sleepover: sorry, no way.

why?

Anonymous wrote:Gay, straight, male, female I would have to know you very very well. Gay would be the least of my concerns.

Yeah, me too, the fact that you are make, gay, or whatever is of no concern. I would have to know you, understand your values i,e, will you be supervising or just plop them down in front of horror movies?, how many kids will be there?, does my daughter know your daughter very well?, what activities are planned?...those things. I'm guessing there will be some who don't understand what category to put this in, but that's too bad. When your kid comes to my house, I'm going to assume you will want to know me pretty well too, and how your kid relates with mine, and ask me all those questions.


Your kid is lucky. You are a parent who is already thinking ahead. You'll be fine. P.S.My kids are in their 30s, now....so not a lot has changed. I wanted to know all those things then, too.

Now, just hang on when they are all teenagers.......LOL

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Huh, I give gay dads extra domesticty points, so I would not have an issue sending my child to you. Statistically, I think teenage brothers in the house are probably a bigger risk.

Statistically speaking I would think 2 gay dads is a lower risk than a straight father and probably even lower than straight mother.

They aren't. Because they are male.

Women are the lowest risk. Duh.

So because they are male, they are automatically going to molest the children in their care?

Anonymous wrote:As a regular straight dad, it's nice to know so many women think I am a pervert/rapist/flasher.

Regular straight mom here. I have sons who arent old enough for sleepover age yet. However these responses disturb me as well. Am I naive? Is it because I havent had to deal w/sleepovers yet? Are all men perverts/rapist/flashers? Are the people who are responding to this thread self-selecting?

Gay men and daughter sleepover: maybe.

Gay men and son sleepover: sorry, no way.

Anonymous wrote:I would prefer there be a woman in the house. Is there an "aunt" that could spend the night?

I never get this.

You'd rather have an aunt you don't know (she could be a meth addict) vs. two gay dads.

Please keep your family away from mine - I don't want your values to spill over onto my child.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes to sleepover:
Two gay dads. No problem.
Mom and dad with father employed in job you need some type of background check like teacher, policeman, fed
Two gay moms.


No to sleepover:

Single mom with boyfriend. No way!
Couple with older brother more than two or three years older.
Any extra male relatives in the house like an uncle or cousin

I agree with most of what you said, except the background check part. A background check isn't necessarily going to tell you if someone is a pedophile or not...and in fact, male teachers seem to be the ones you constantly hear about in the news for abusing kids. And I certainly wouldn't rule out a sleepover with a family because the father wasn't employed in a position of public trust. As other PPs have said, I'd just need to know both parents well, and go with my gut feeling about them.

Um, what now? The news stories I see are a constant litany of FEMALE teachers abusing teenage boys.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a regular straight dad, it's nice to know so many women think I am a pervert/rapist/flasher.

Are you the pee dad?

No, but apparently DCUM women think every man is that guy.

This thread is insane. If you are this particular, as someone else said, just make a blanket "No Sleepover" policy.

You may as well extend that to sleep away camp. Unless it is an all girls camp.

And I guess you will be looking at all girls colleges?

Wait, are you only concerned about night time? Because I am certain that molestation/abuse can occur during the day too. I guess that means no playdates either. And what about school... homeschooling is probably an option?

I would prefer there be a woman in the house. Is there an "aunt" that could spend the night?

I have to know the parents well. Any parent. Gay, divorced, or straight, it doesn't matter.

I will say that sleepovers aren't as common as they were when I was a kid. My son is in 4th grade and only been invited once.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a regular straight dad, it's nice to know so many women think I am a pervert/rapist/flasher.

Yeah, this thread is insane. Sure, it is reasonable to want to know parents fairly well before a sleepover, but to not allow it if the Dad is present is crazy. The Dad is suppose to leave his own house? What is he suppose to do crash at a friend's? Just leave his wife for the night so crazy paranoid people don't worry when there doesn't seem to be any cause for concern other than all straight males must be predators?

It isn't thinking shaping our decisions, it's actions. The actions of males. Perhaps it's just a tiny percentage of males who have flashed, fondled, or raped females we know, but it has happened to so many of us or females we know that we are taking an extra step to protect our DDs. Solve the pervert/predator problem among your own gender and stop hating on women for trying to stay safe.

What about boys? They get fondled/raped too. 1 in 6 vs 1 in 3

I posted earlier as a mom of boys.

A mom has to be in the house (or two) and married to mom dad parents are fine.

No to single dads & gay male couples, big no to houses with live in boyfriends (uncles, adult males, etc).

Brothers do not bother me as we have a house full of brothers.

How odd -

As someone who has worked with sex offenders and works in the criminal justice field this is my order of sleep overs:

Do you have guns? No? Ok

Do you smoke in the house? No? Ok