Anonymous wrote:FA is a cruel irony. We pay 75k a year for 2 at a top 3 in order to get escape the poor and their "poor" habits found in the MS, HS publics. Part of the 75k pays for the people you are trying to escape to join you in the privates. The more you try to escape the poor, the more you become intertwined with them- like b'rer rabbit the tar baby.

I'd love to know which school your kids attend. We pay $70,000 to try to give our kids the best education we can and to avoid people who would teach them 'poor habits' like your condescension and anything related to the term tar baby, for example.

Anonymous wrote:FA is a cruel irony. We pay 75k a year for 2 at a top 3 in order to get escape the poor and their "poor" habits found in the MS, HS publics. Part of the 75k pays for the people you are trying to escape to join you in the privates. The more you try to escape the poor, the more you become intertwined with them- like b'rer rabbit the tar baby.

IMO anyone who cannot afford private school tuition who is savvy enough, capable enough, motivated enough and smart enough to get FA for their kid has proven that they are the equal of everyone who can afford it. And frankly, those folks are much more impressive than the ones whose families (grandparents or trust finds) pay the tuition. There is nothing impressive, smart or capable about those types of parents, quite the opposite frankly. The only people with 'poor habits' in the above examples are only those in the last category. ?

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Anonymous wrote:Of course its not embarrassing, but it is also something that you should not discuss or mention. It is a private matter and only the buiness of your family and the school. It is a topic that, for some people, can become a heated topic (just see this forum for examples) so best to just avoid mentioning it at all .

The kids all talk about it. Everyone knows who's on FA. If you ask your kids and they know the student somewhat, chances are they'll know their status. Certainly if they play a sport or other activity with the student they'll likely know.

That is absolutely not true. My daughter is on 67% FA and has never been asked or even hears anyone talk about it. private from 6th to 11th.

Sorry, but by HS all the kids know who is on FA.

Not true. Maybe it depends on the school. I'm on a board and even I don't know who is on financial aid and who isn't.

This is a generation of kids that shares EVERYTHING, maybe not to adults but certainly among each other. They know who's doing drugs, whose having Alex, and who is on FA.

Anonymous wrote:FA is a cruel irony. We pay 75k a year for 2 at a top 3 in order to get escape the poor and their "poor" habits found in the MS, HS publics. Part of the 75k pays for the people you are trying to escape to join you in the privates. The more you try to escape the poor, the more you become intertwined with them- like b'rer rabbit the tar baby.

Escape the poor and their poor habits??? You can't possible be serious. I don't send my DC to private school to escape the poor. I send her for the resources and curriculum a private school provides that many public schools cannot provide. Please speak for yourself about why you choose private.
That's seriously not the reason any of the people I know are doing it. You describe the poor as if they are a communicable disease. Sad. Disgusting.

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Anonymous wrote:Of course its not embarrassing, but it is also something that you should not discuss or mention. It is a private matter and only the buiness of your family and the school. It is a topic that, for some people, can become a heated topic (just see this forum for examples) so best to just avoid mentioning it at all .

The kids all talk about it. Everyone knows who's on FA. If you ask your kids and they know the student somewhat, chances are they'll know their status. Certainly if they play a sport or other activity with the student they'll likely know.

That is absolutely not true. My daughter is on 67% FA and has never been asked or even hears anyone talk about it. private from 6th to 11th.

Sorry, but by HS all the kids know who is on FA.

Not true. Maybe it depends on the school. I'm on a board and even I don't know who is on financial aid and who isn't.

FA is a cruel irony. We pay 75k a year for 2 at a top 3 in order to get escape the poor and their "poor" habits found in the MS, HS publics. Part of the 75k pays for the people you are trying to escape to join you in the privates. The more you try to escape the poor, the more you become intertwined with them- like b'rer rabbit the tar baby.

I'm surprised people think it's so offensive to ask how families afford private school. In our middle class neighborhood it is pretty much assumed that the big privates are completely out of reach. It's similar to the questions people might get if they bought a beachfront vacation home. It's sort of like, hey, if you have an extra 40k lying around every year then why are you living in our neighborhood of $400k houses? I don't know if I would directly ask how people are affording their private, but we would all be thinking it and I wouldn't begrudge anyone who asked.

Anonymous wrote:Our contract forbids us from disclosing the fact that we are on FA.

Do you say no when asked directly? Or you are never asked?

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Anonymous wrote:We will be starting K at a "Big 3" in the fall and receive a substantial FA package. Is this something we should be secretive about? I am a pretty open person and wouldn't naturally think to not speak about receiving FA but I've been told that this is a private thing and the schools would prefer that no one discusses it. What has been your experience in this regards?

Do not bring it up with parents at the school. I know someone who has done this and it causes feelings of unfairness for families who are scraping it together to pay full tuition. Better to be gracipus and silent.

OP, I think the real issue is you need to be respectful that many families are scraping it together to afford the school and that you don't want to get into comparing amounts of aid awards with other FA families.

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Anonymous wrote:Of course its not embarrassing, but it is also something that you should not discuss or mention. It is a private matter and only the buiness of your family and the school. It is a topic that, for some people, can become a heated topic (just see this forum for examples) so best to just avoid mentioning it at all .

The kids all talk about it. Everyone knows who's on FA. If you ask your kids and they know the student somewhat, chances are they'll know their status. Certainly if they play a sport or other activity with the student they'll likely know.

That is absolutely not true. My daughter is on 67% FA and has never been asked or even hears anyone talk about it. private from 6th to 11th.

Sorry, but by HS all the kids know who is on FA.

Anonymous wrote:Our contract forbids us from disclosing the fact that we are on FA.

Ours is pretty much same ... it says "... you acknowledge that all financial aid awards are kept in strict confidentiality and may be revoked if confidentiality is not kept."

Actually only noticed that paragraph when I went back to take a look after reading this post.

Anonymous wrote:Our contract forbids us from disclosing the fact that we are on FA.

Dude. WHAT? That is creepy and weird.

I am very curious. What is the exact wording of this letter? And what, exactly, would the school do if you told someone your child received FA?

-- From a family on FA

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Anonymous wrote:It says right on your FA notice letter that this is a private matter.

So, I don't believe this post.

How can you tell me what my letter said? You don't know me. You don't know which school my DC is going to. Yet, you feel entitled to say this post is not true? Like I said my letter said nothing about ME keeping it private.

All the letters say that. Read your letter. It tells you that you are to keep your FA award private and if you don't you could have to forfeit your aid package.
Go back and read your letter.
Many of us have children in private schools here. We don't have to know you.

NP here. You're wrong. We have a letter that says nothing about privacy except that the school will maintain our privacy.

Don't be so smug when you don't have facts, just an opinion.

Our contract forbids us from disclosing the fact that we are on FA.

Anonymous wrote:It's trashy to mention to the people who are paying your kid's way because you can't that they are doing so.

Really? Some people on this board are so classless. If people some kind of way about FA then they shouldn't donate money to the annual fund. I imagine those complaining probably donate the least amount of money to begin with. So much for economic diversity and giving opportunities to others.