I have straightened (flat-ironed) my hair every day or every other day for the past fourteen years, starting when I was 14 as well. After puberty my hair turned into a frizzy, voluminous, semi-curly/wavy mess. I have tried various haircuts and products; it simply looks wild and unkempt if I don't. That said, my stylists are shocked whenever I tell them this because I have very healthy hair. Here is what your DD needs to do to keep her hair healthy:

1) Use moisturizing, sulfate-free shampoo and conditioner (I use Loreal Everpure and Organix Keratin)
2) Use a product to protect your hair from the heat. There are a lot out there; she'll have to experiment with what works best based on her hair texture and scalp type.
3) Make sure your hair is completely, totally dry before flat ironing. Otherwise you are scalding your hair follicle with hot water.
4) Use a high-quality flat iron. GHD is my favorite. You don't need one with temp settings; going over one section of hair on high heat is better than going over it with lower heat a bunch of times.
5) Get frequent haircuts (at least every 10 weeks) to minimize split end damage.
6) NO HAIR COLORING! It will make the hair drier and more damaged.

Good luck to her!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wish my daughter would straighten her hair. She looks stunning with straight hair, instead she insists on going out with puffy, unruly hair that does not flatter her at all. If she would put it up in a pony tail or a french braid, she would look much better. She does it when she interns or works in an office during the summer.

I have offered to pay for Japanese straightening or for keratin treatment, but she has not taken the bait. She gets her hair styled and professionally straightened whenever we are attending a wedding or a big do and she wants to look good. So why would she not get it done? She is a hypochondriac and she has decided that all chemical treatments will make her hair fall out and damage her brain cells. She has also asked me to embrace her 'troll child" (her words) the way she is.

I am trying! I am trying!

your daughter might have good instincts about her own body.

I am really sensitive to chemicals. I am 50, but have experienced various skin reactions (like eczema) off and on since my teens. I finally was recently tested for chemical allergies, and it turns out i'm allergic to all sorts of chemicals, the worst offenders being in the hair care lines. Especially the stuff used in perms. I imagine the chemicals used for straightening aren't much better.

Please, everyone, be careful with the chemicals you use. Many of the harmful effects don't even hurt us directly, but can hurt our unborn kids (ie, get into their genes)

Yeaaaaaaaaaah, I'm going to need to see a some hard, peer reviewed, rigorous data on a claim like this

Anonymous wrote:For the posters with curly hair and their curly children. Go here, they specialize in curly hair. http://fiddleheadsdc.com/

I see Mona Harb at Lofty in Vienna. Best my curly hair has ever looked. She has a special technique where she cuts your hair to fall with the shape of your head. It grows out amazing. She also has curly hair and I've learned just not to trust people with straight hair to properly cut curly hair. They never, ever get it and just end up giving it a cut that only works with straight hair and saying something like "But you can blow it out and it'll look good."

Let her be. Not worth fighting over. I swam through HS & college & had chlorine infused hair -- and still came out ok. And I straighten my hair still a lot. But do buy her some dry shampoo to try - it's cool. But then just let her try it or not w/o interfering. Just be supportive as she trying to be a teen, figure herself out and 'fit in'.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have naturally curly hair and straightened it on and off from about 14-18 and then daily from 19-27. Yeah, it was fried. Just terrible. I look at pictures now and I wonder why on earth I thought stiff, broken off straight hair looked better than healthy curly hair. What finally got me to snap out of it was when I had my second daughter who has very curly hair. It's so gorgeous, and such a complement to her personality, and she gets complimented on it everywhere we go. I didn't want to have her example be me straightening the living daylights out of my hair and giving her the impression hers would look better fried and straight too. So now we wear curly hair together.

Part of the reason you wound up with "stiff, broken off" hair is because of the quality of irons and products back then. I also am curly, have virgin hair, and have ironed it daily for the past 10 years using either a FHI or Sedu iron. My hair is past my bra line, never has split ends, and shines and bounces still. A good quality iron and heat protectant is essential.

"Back then" was like 2003-2011, LOL. I'm only 31, this wasn't the 70s. The irons were fine as far as irons go, they just burned my delicate hair into shreds. I also colored too much which I'm sure didn't help.

Anonymous wrote:I have naturally curly hair and straightened it on and off from about 14-18 and then daily from 19-27. Yeah, it was fried. Just terrible. I look at pictures now and I wonder why on earth I thought stiff, broken off straight hair looked better than healthy curly hair. What finally got me to snap out of it was when I had my second daughter who has very curly hair. It's so gorgeous, and such a complement to her personality, and she gets complimented on it everywhere we go. I didn't want to have her example be me straightening the living daylights out of my hair and giving her the impression hers would look better fried and straight too. So now we wear curly hair together.

Part of the reason you wound up with "stiff, broken off" hair is because of the quality of irons and products back then. I also am curly, have virgin hair, and have ironed it daily for the past 10 years using either a FHI or Sedu iron. My hair is past my bra line, never has split ends, and shines and bounces still. A good quality iron and heat protectant is essential.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She's 14 and going into 9th grade. Is this normal? I've told her many times how bad it is for her hair but she will not leave the house without straightening her hair.

Totally normal. And so what it is bad for her hair? Hair can be cut and then just grows back.

Not if it gets fried or starts breaking off at the scalp. Then you get a "Dennis the Menace" look as new hairs grow in and stick straight up.

So then you wear a hat for a while. and maybe learn not to straighten your hair every day.

I fried my hair more than once. I cut it and it grew back. Not once did it all break off at the scalp.

I did this to my hair and it looked ridiculous with bits of hair sticking up. And no you can't wear a hat every day, especially not in an office setting. Hair isn't meant to be scalded by hot rollers, straightening agents, and curling ords.

My DD did the same thing all freshman year. It didn't look good and was ruining her beautiful hair. She seems to have given up the habit over the summer and I'm hoping she doesn't start up this fall. Regardless if not liking it, it's not worth fighting over.

I woke up two hours before school started each day 9th- 12th grade to make my hair big. Really really big. Hot rollers & curling irons every day for four years, plus regular perms, occasional crimping wands, and a giant can of aquanet.

Eighties Baby! Rocked the spiral perm and mile high bangs.

For the posters with curly hair and their curly children. Go here, they specialize in curly hair. http://fiddleheadsdc.com/

PP here - just wanted to add now that I've read the rest of the thread that part of my problem was that I never learned how to wear my hair curly so it looked nice. My mom, and eventually I, brushed it out every day so it was huge and neither of us had any clue what to do with it. By the time I learned how to wear my hair curly (in my 20s) I was so used to wearing my hair straight that the straight hair looked like "me" if that makes sense. One alternative if she has really curly hair is to take her somewhere that specializes in it and have them show her ways to style it and care for it to make the most of her curls. And then let her make her own decisions - not a battle worth fighting.

Please let her, and please be supportive. If you are worried about her hair offer deep conditioning treatments or Japanese hair straightening or Keratin. But seriously leave her alone. I had huge frizzy curly hair in high school and had no idea what to do with it and it seriously impacted my self confidence. I didn't discover a straightening iron until college and it literally changed my life. I still straighten and I take lots of measures to ensure the health of my hair now. Seriously please leave her alone on this one.

Anonymous wrote:I wish my daughter would straighten her hair. She looks stunning with straight hair, instead she insists on going out with puffy, unruly hair that does not flatter her at all. If she would put it up in a pony tail or a french braid, she would look much better. She does it when she interns or works in an office during the summer.

I have offered to pay for Japanese straightening or for keratin treatment, but she has not taken the bait. She gets her hair styled and professionally straightened whenever we are attending a wedding or a big do and she wants to look good. So why would she not get it done? She is a hypochondriac and she has decided that all chemical treatments will make her hair fall out and damage her brain cells. She has also asked me to embrace her 'troll child" (her words) the way she is.

I am trying! I am trying!

your daughter might have good instincts about her own body.

I am really sensitive to chemicals. I am 50, but have experienced various skin reactions (like eczema) off and on since my teens. I finally was recently tested for chemical allergies, and it turns out i'm allergic to all sorts of chemicals, the worst offenders being in the hair care lines. Especially the stuff used in perms. I imagine the chemicals used for straightening aren't much better.

Please, everyone, be careful with the chemicals you use. Many of the harmful effects don't even hurt us directly, but can hurt our unborn kids (ie, get into their genes)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone with naturally curly hair, I am so sad that women feel compelled to make every kid look like Jennifer Aniston. The number of movies that start with Anne Hathaway "ugly" with frizzy hair until she gets a completely unsustainably, wildly expensive Brazilian blowout just make me cry.

What's wrong with curly hair?

As a curly haired person, even I fall for this. I love my curly hair... Until I get a blowout. We all know how beautifully curly hair blows out- so much volume and the perfect amount of curl at the ends. I will see myself and go oh, it's so pretty! Well it's an illusion. That's just not my hair and it's not sustainable to kill it daily pretending it is. So I enjoy it 2-3 times a year for the 3 days a blowout lasts and then go back to my curly hair. But the lure of luscious Pantene hair is real.

Ok whoa, beautiful curly-haired ladies. First, bottom PP, the lure of luscious Pantene hair may be real, but that is NOT her real hair in that ad...look how many strands of hair are in hair magazine ads, and try to follow one from head to end...impossible because it's not her hair--there are too many hairs per square inch. This is hair added to the model.

Remember Lucy Lawless in Xena, Warrior Princess? Google image search her. Pounds and pounds of Spanish hair added to her head.

Ok, so I'm a white woman with really straight hair; can't get it to hold a curl unless I dowse it with tons of spray or have a perm. I wish I had some curl because it softens a person's face. And even though my hair is shiny, if I get a blowout my straight hair is prettier than natuarally straight hair.

Well, I suppose we all want what we don't have. But back to the teenagers...

PP here. Logically I know this. I even slapped down the mom trying to make her daughter feel ugly for not straightening. I wear mine curly 99% of the time because I have a curly haired daughter who I want to love her own hair. But still, those blowouts look amazing and I have to remind myself THIS ISN'T HOW YOUR HAIR REALLY LOOKS!