Anonymous
Post 07/29/2016 21:09     Subject: SIL/BIL fit about wedding
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Where did OP say it took a year of TTC?


That's a moot point. It doesn't matter if op had been trying for ten years or one month. You can't plan a pregnancy around a wedding. Plenty of people get pregnant by accident and there are also tons of weddings to attend in your 20s/30s. If you avoided getting pregnant so you wouldn't miss a wedding then you'd probably never be able to have children.



I did plan my pregnancy around BILs wedding. I would only do that for close family.


You can't plan that shit. Because you can't guarantee conception.

I did plan that shit.
I can't guarantee when I will get pregnant, but I can guarantee when I won't.


Not every pregnancy is successful, and sometimes you can lose several months with a pregnancy that doesn't go full-term (blighted ovum, miscarriage, ectopic, etc.). So delaying extra months for a wedding and then hoping nothing goes wrong is unreasonable for someone anxious to have a baby. Glad it worked out for you, but some people wouldn't want to take the risk of delaying.
Anonymous
Post 07/29/2016 20:32     Subject: SIL/BIL fit about wedding
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Where did OP say it took a year of TTC?


That's a moot point. It doesn't matter if op had been trying for ten years or one month. You can't plan a pregnancy around a wedding. Plenty of people get pregnant by accident and there are also tons of weddings to attend in your 20s/30s. If you avoided getting pregnant so you wouldn't miss a wedding then you'd probably never be able to have children.



I did plan my pregnancy around BILs wedding. I would only do that for close family.


You can't plan that shit. Because you can't guarantee conception.

I did plan that shit.
I can't guarantee when I will get pregnant, but I can guarantee when I won't.


Well, you're nuts. Congrats.
Anonymous
Post 07/29/2016 20:32     Subject: SIL/BIL fit about wedding
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:So there are people on this board who honestly think that couples should delay having a child so that they can attend a wedding? For real? Especially if they've already been trying for a year?

There were people who could not make it to my wedding, for a variety of reasons. I was sad they weren't there, but it never occured to me that anyone should put their lives on hold to attend. It was a special day for me, and I was grateful to have so many friends and family there to celebrate with us, but it wasn't such an important day that everyone needed to arrange their whole year around it. Sheesh.


This.

I cannot believe people would delay having a baby to attend a wedding. That is crazy! Especially since most people have a small window of time to have kids - for most of my friends it's between 30 and 35. If you want 2 or more kids the timing is especially tight before you're considered high risk. If my brother asked me to delay having a baby because of his wedding I would question his sanity.


Delay by two or so months. Just enough so you can attend the wedding of a FAMILY member.


Yeah, someone who has been trying for a year isn't going to try to prolong shit just in case.

Also, you sound like a bitter shrew whose wedding no sane person would want to attend.
Anonymous
Post 07/29/2016 20:30     Subject: SIL/BIL fit about wedding
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:SIL shouldn't have planned her wedding so close to your due date!


The wedding was planned first!!!L


Who gives a rats @ss? It's a wedding, it's NOT that big of a deal to anyone except the bride and groom. The world doesn't revolve around your dumb freakin wedding, people are not obligated in any way shape or form to stop living their lives just to preserve the majesty of "your special day".


A wedding is a big deal. To people outside of DCUM who see it as a once in a lifetime commitment and a joining of two families.


Ooooo nice dig implying I don't believe in the importance of marriage. I think MARRIAGE is a massively important deal. A wedding is not, a wedding is a day, a party, an event. Expecting everyone to make their lives revolve around your "special day" for months and months just so you don't lose any of the spotlight is beyond ridiculous.


I'm sorry you don't come from a supportive family that you'd want around you to celebrate your milestones and the commitment you are making. Weddings and marriages have been celebrated with family and community for hundreds of years. There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to have that special moment honored with friends and family.
Don't take your anger out on others because they have loving families and you don't.


LOL I think crazy SIL found DCUM.
Anonymous
Post 07/29/2016 20:29     Subject: SIL/BIL fit about wedding
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:SIL shouldn't have planned her wedding so close to your due date!


The wedding was planned first!!!L


Who gives a rats @ss? It's a wedding, it's NOT that big of a deal to anyone except the bride and groom. The world doesn't revolve around your dumb freakin wedding, people are not obligated in any way shape or form to stop living their lives just to preserve the majesty of "your special day".



The same could be said for having a baby. It's not a big deal , you've seen one you've seen them all and other than the parents no one cares that much.


Right, which is why the PARENTS SHOULD BE THERE. It isn't like OP asked other people to come for the birth. She expected the father of her child to be there.
Anonymous
Post 07/29/2016 20:23     Subject: SIL/BIL fit about wedding
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Where did OP say it took a year of TTC?


That's a moot point. It doesn't matter if op had been trying for ten years or one month. You can't plan a pregnancy around a wedding. Plenty of people get pregnant by accident and there are also tons of weddings to attend in your 20s/30s. If you avoided getting pregnant so you wouldn't miss a wedding then you'd probably never be able to have children.



I did plan my pregnancy around BILs wedding. I would only do that for close family.


You can't plan that shit. Because you can't guarantee conception.

I did plan that shit.
I can't guarantee when I will get pregnant, but I can guarantee when I won't.
Anonymous
Post 07/29/2016 20:22     Subject: SIL/BIL fit about wedding
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:So there are people on this board who honestly think that couples should delay having a child so that they can attend a wedding? For real? Especially if they've already been trying for a year?

There were people who could not make it to my wedding, for a variety of reasons. I was sad they weren't there, but it never occured to me that anyone should put their lives on hold to attend. It was a special day for me, and I was grateful to have so many friends and family there to celebrate with us, but it wasn't such an important day that everyone needed to arrange their whole year around it. Sheesh.


This.

I cannot believe people would delay having a baby to attend a wedding. That is crazy! Especially since most people have a small window of time to have kids - for most of my friends it's between 30 and 35. If you want 2 or more kids the timing is especially tight before you're considered high risk. If my brother asked me to delay having a baby because of his wedding I would question his sanity.


Delay by two or so months. Just enough so you can attend the wedding of a FAMILY member.
Anonymous
Post 07/29/2016 20:16     Subject: SIL/BIL fit about wedding
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Where did OP say it took a year of TTC?


That's a moot point. It doesn't matter if op had been trying for ten years or one month. You can't plan a pregnancy around a wedding. Plenty of people get pregnant by accident and there are also tons of weddings to attend in your 20s/30s. If you avoided getting pregnant so you wouldn't miss a wedding then you'd probably never be able to have children.



I did plan my pregnancy around BILs wedding. I would only do that for close family.


You can't plan that shit. Because you can't guarantee conception.
Anonymous
Post 07/29/2016 10:05     Subject: SIL/BIL fit about wedding

Wow. Hopefully they'll understand when SIL has her first child. Or maybe not.

Anonymous
Post 07/29/2016 10:04     Subject: SIL/BIL fit about wedding
Anonymous wrote:So there are people on this board who honestly think that couples should delay having a child so that they can attend a wedding? For real? Especially if they've already been trying for a year?

There were people who could not make it to my wedding, for a variety of reasons. I was sad they weren't there, but it never occured to me that anyone should put their lives on hold to attend. It was a special day for me, and I was grateful to have so many friends and family there to celebrate with us, but it wasn't such an important day that everyone needed to arrange their whole year around it. Sheesh.


This.

I cannot believe people would delay having a baby to attend a wedding. That is crazy! Especially since most people have a small window of time to have kids - for most of my friends it's between 30 and 35. If you want 2 or more kids the timing is especially tight before you're considered high risk. If my brother asked me to delay having a baby because of his wedding I would question his sanity.
Anonymous
Post 07/29/2016 09:55     Subject: SIL/BIL fit about wedding
Anonymous wrote:So there are people on this board who honestly think that couples should delay having a child so that they can attend a wedding? For real? Especially if they've already been trying for a year?

There were people who could not make it to my wedding, for a variety of reasons. I was sad they weren't there, but it never occured to me that anyone should put their lives on hold to attend. It was a special day for me, and I was grateful to have so many friends and family there to celebrate with us, but it wasn't such an important day that everyone needed to arrange their whole year around it. Sheesh.


I think there are one or two trolls on this thread that are baiting people with crap like "your family must be awful and not love you if they didn't make your wedding day all about you" and "your marriage must be awful if you don't still think it was the most important day of your life decades later."

The only reasonable/non-troll critiques of OP have been the people wondering whether there is more to the story and calling out the being upset about the lack of overabundant enthusiasm at the birthday party. I don't think any non-trolls are saying OP should have delayed having a child for a wedding.
Anonymous
Post 07/29/2016 09:49     Subject: SIL/BIL fit about wedding
So there are people on this board who honestly think that couples should delay having a child so that they can attend a wedding? For real? Especially if they've already been trying for a year?

There were people who could not make it to my wedding, for a variety of reasons. I was sad they weren't there, but it never occured to me that anyone should put their lives on hold to attend. It was a special day for me, and I was grateful to have so many friends and family there to celebrate with us, but it wasn't such an important day that everyone needed to arrange their whole year around it. Sheesh.
Anonymous
Post 07/28/2016 23:51     Subject: SIL/BIL fit about wedding
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Any normal grandparents, uncles, aunts, siblings, would have called you and came by the next day, to hospital, or home if you went home right away. You would show them pictures, they would show you pictures, they would be happy that their niece/nephew will have the same birthday as their anniversary. You would be sad you couldn't make it, they would be sad they weren't there for you in the hospital. This, all about me attitude, is truly ruining the country. My wedding was nice and great, but what I remember most is days when my children were born, wedding day has faded into fond memory that I rarely think about nowadays. How terrible that OP will have some kind of guilt attached to the birth of her child.


You have a terrible marriage not everyone does. Some people look back fondly on the day they became one with their spouse and started a family.



You are clearly extremely angry person who is projecting her failures. I have a great marriage, for over 23 years now. If we are making assumptions, here is mine, you are young, millennial, whiner and clueless about life. You also lack comprehension skills, and missed the part of my post about a fond memory. Unlike you, I have had decades to make new memories with my spouse and kids. Also, unlike you, I will keep on being happily married while divorce is in your future, no doubt about that. I don't need to become "one" with my spouse, not does he need to become "me." Only insecure people say stupid things like that, and people with low self esteem. You win on all counts.
Anonymous
Post 07/28/2016 23:27     Subject: SIL/BIL fit about wedding
Anonymous wrote:Any normal grandparents, uncles, aunts, siblings, would have called you and came by the next day, to hospital, or home if you went home right away. You would show them pictures, they would show you pictures, they would be happy that their niece/nephew will have the same birthday as their anniversary. You would be sad you couldn't make it, they would be sad they weren't there for you in the hospital. This, all about me attitude, is truly ruining the country. My wedding was nice and great, but what I remember most is days when my children were born, wedding day has faded into fond memory that I rarely think about nowadays. How terrible that OP will have some kind of guilt attached to the birth of her child.


+1
Anonymous
Post 07/28/2016 23:14     Subject: SIL/BIL fit about wedding
Any normal grandparents, uncles, aunts, siblings, would have called you and came by the next day, to hospital, or home if you went home right away. You would show them pictures, they would show you pictures, they would be happy that their niece/nephew will have the same birthday as their anniversary. You would be sad you couldn't make it, they would be sad they weren't there for you in the hospital. This, all about me attitude, is truly ruining the country. My wedding was nice and great, but what I remember most is days when my children were born, wedding day has faded into fond memory that I rarely think about nowadays. How terrible that OP will have some kind of guilt attached to the birth of her child.