Anonymous
07/27/2016 11:23
Subject: Re:if you're a good husband or have a good husband, share your story
My husband has said from soon after we started dating that a relationship is about what you find, but also what you make. Meaning he realizes that there will be rough times and imperfections in any relationship at some point, but you choose to work through them. He's just so well adjusted--takes care of himself, responsible, has great friends, great at his job, great father, very affectionate, brilliant but very humble about it, just an all-around good guy. There have been rough spots but he sees those as just part of life, not something that means our relationship is fundamentally flawed.
Anonymous
07/27/2016 10:49
Subject: if you're a good husband or have a good husband, share your story
Anonymous wrote:Just to reiterate what others have said: it helps to be flexible to options you hadn't considered.
My husband is a big guy who farts a lot and belongs to the wrong political party. I thought I liked skinny liberals who expel no gas (among other things).
Eight years later we really have a good time together. He's a mensch, this guy. The life we have together isn't what I imagined for myself in every way, but I adore him.
He still farts too much but he's come around to my side more politically. So you can perform a public service by marrying outside your expected circle as well.
I love you. Can we be friends?
Anonymous
07/27/2016 09:41
Subject: Re:if you're a good husband or have a good husband, share your story
Married 17 years to a wonderful guy who is not everyone's cup of tea. Which is great, because neither am I. The things he likes best about me are the things other men found off putting or intimidating. He loves that I am as smart as he is, opinionated, accomplished, and competent. We have the same sense of humor, and we want the same things out of life. We don't agree on a lot of things, but we do agree on the most important stuff. I could go on, but to me the fundamental thing is that we're both unconventional, and those are the things we like best about each other.
Anonymous
07/26/2016 15:20
Subject: if you're a good husband or have a good husband, share your story
I've been married for 34 years OP. We met in college and it was love/lust at first sight. We have one very amazing 20-something daughter. And, unlike others here, we actually made it through my dh having an affair w/ a college gf right after his dad died. She was the gf before me in college. Long story that I will skip all of the gory details.
But, we made a pledge to travel every year to fun places, send our star child to the best schools money could buy (we both came from middle of the road ... middle class families w/ no luxuries).
Life has been really good. I didn't want a divorce after his affair because I knew my life was better w/ him than w/o. So we worked through it and are glad we did. We are the best friends in the world.
But, we made a pledge to travel every year to fun places, send our star child to the best schools money could buy (we both came from middle of the road ... middle class families w/ no luxuries).
Life has been really good. I didn't want a divorce after his affair because I knew my life was better w/ him than w/o. So we worked through it and are glad we did. We are the best friends in the world.
Anonymous
07/26/2016 14:57
Subject: if you're a good husband or have a good husband, share your story
"The key to a great marriage is not a spouse who "makes me laugh", "great in bed", "makes be a better person", etc etc - it is just having low expectations.
+100000
And the maturity to REALIZE this!"
WHAT BS! If your spouse unilaterally quit his job, refused to help around the house or with the kids, secretly ran up a 6 figure credit card bill, and became an alcoholic, are you really going to claim that you're still have a happy marriage because your expectations are so low that you really don't expect him to contribute or be a responsible and fairly equal partner?
+100000
And the maturity to REALIZE this!"
WHAT BS! If your spouse unilaterally quit his job, refused to help around the house or with the kids, secretly ran up a 6 figure credit card bill, and became an alcoholic, are you really going to claim that you're still have a happy marriage because your expectations are so low that you really don't expect him to contribute or be a responsible and fairly equal partner?
Anonymous
07/26/2016 14:24
Subject: if you're a good husband or have a good husband, share your story
We had a whirlwind romance and married young and quickly. Made it through some hellish situations outside our control and each one brought us closer. We have traditional gender roles which alleviates all stress/resentment. Our household runs like a well-oiled machine. Overall we constantly show affection and praise for each other's contributions.
Anonymous
07/26/2016 13:46
Subject: Re:if you're a good husband or have a good husband, share your story
Married to DH for 11 years. 2 kids. We both WOTH and hold advanced degrees from a respectable public ivy. Decent HHI. He is just a genuinely kind, fair and responsible husband and father who treats me like his equal. No issues from either of us with money, abuse, infidelity, addiction, etc. We fight fair, sex is good. He shares in childcare and household duties. Met him through online dating site after a disastrous but brief first marriage to an asshole. His former classmates remember him as the all around nice guy who was friendly and good to everyone.
Google "peer marriage"...when I focused on finding a decent guy with similar values and temperament, everything fell into place. I now look back on my dating years and think the framework I used (romantic love/"the one"/"I'll just know"/you can make it work if youre just committed enough) was kind of stupid and made the search for a husband lengthier and more difficult than it needed to be.
The past 11 years have been smooth sailing even though things have happened that I suppose could be framed as "we've had our ups and downs" or "been through a lot"
Google "peer marriage"...when I focused on finding a decent guy with similar values and temperament, everything fell into place. I now look back on my dating years and think the framework I used (romantic love/"the one"/"I'll just know"/you can make it work if youre just committed enough) was kind of stupid and made the search for a husband lengthier and more difficult than it needed to be.
The past 11 years have been smooth sailing even though things have happened that I suppose could be framed as "we've had our ups and downs" or "been through a lot"
Anonymous
07/26/2016 12:42
Subject: if you're a good husband or have a good husband, share your story
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:The key to a great marriage is not a spouse who "makes me laugh", "great in bed", "makes be a better person", etc etc - it is just having low expectations.
+100
I know so many beautifful 30something women who are still waiting for their "prince charmings" and they are really missing out on good guys who would loveto date them.
Its always:
- he doesnt make enough money
- his job is not prestigious
- he didnt go to an IVY
- he is bald
DC women think they're gods gift to the world but they create their own loneliness.
Although I did not specifically seek out these characteristics, my husband makes a lot, has a prestigious job, and went to an ivy. And really, it's not all it's cracked up to be. The focus on career, money, and prestige comes at a cost. Wife/kids/home are always on the back burner. Job will always be #1.
Not true. I'm a lawyer (BigLaw refugee) who makes more than enough and went to a Little 3. I'm not bald (and, given my genetics, unlikely to be).
I love my DW and my kids, and I get to spend lots of time with both. They are my priority.
Sometimes the job means I have to travel, but the amount of time I get to spend with them when I'm not on the road means that the travel isn't so bad.
It can be done.
A man who says "little 3?" Wtf?
The Little 3 are Williams, Amherst and Wesleyan, also called the "Little Ivies."
Uh, ok.
Anonymous
07/26/2016 12:40
Subject: if you're a good husband or have a good husband, share your story
Anonymous wrote:
The Little 3 are Williams, Amherst and Wesleyan, also called the "Little Ivies."
+3
Anonymous
07/26/2016 11:53
Subject: Re:if you're a good husband or have a good husband, share your story
Anonymous wrote:DH and I have been married 26 years, been together 30 years. College sweethearts. For both him and me it was lust at first sight. And while our kids think it hilarious that we found each other "HOT" because for them we are just middle aged parents, when I look at him I still see that hot guy.
Now, we have had our lows in our marriage too, generally it was annoyance with each other because of chores , tiredness, stress of work, childcare. rudeness or something equally petty. It was never adultery (or EA), abuse or addiction. We always had a very good sex life, and while it waned when kids were born for some years, it came back in full force and in more erotic ways after kids were older.
So, I can go through the checklist of stuff for him - educated, personable, compatible sex drive, shared values, loyal, good earner - and that is all good and dandy, but what makes him a good husband for me is the following things. He has always respected me and has my back. He is very loving towards my parents and I am the same with his parents. He is a fantastic father - he can put a male seahorse to shame. He is a very principled man - very fair, believes in equality towards all, environmentally conscious and has a good moral compass.
I have been very sick for past two years and he has taken care of me, the kids, home, school, work, our relationship - single handedly and without one complaint. He has nursed me back to health so cheerfully and without any fuss, that most people did not realize that I had been sick. He has been grace under fire and very protective of me. In the end, that's what makes him a good husband.
I am so glad that he is the father of my children, because my DD knows what a good man is like, and my DS knows how to be a good man for his wife and children.
I could have written this except I haven't been married that long( only 16 yrs) and haven't been sick. The only thing I hate about my husband is his short temper. Otherwise he is perfect for me
Anonymous
07/26/2016 01:30
Subject: if you're a good husband or have a good husband, share your story
My husband is great. He is my favorite person in the world, and my best friend. We have been together for 20 yrs and have 4 kids together. Our relationship has certainly had some ups & downs, but the downs have been tolerable, more like periods of losing a connection and then having to regain it again with a little effort, but we've always persevered and I know we always will. I do know that I'm lucky to have him, as most married couples are not as happy as we are. Just as other happily married posters have said, neither one of us are perfect and we love each other anyway. He is skinny and introverted and not very romantic, but to me he is sexy and hilarious and interesting, and he's trying to work on the romance. I am overweight and sometimes moody or bossy, also sometimes needy. But he has learned to not take it personally because I'm usually fun to be around and give him lots of BJs, lol. Anyway, we work because we love each other intensely and we cut each other slack because we really treasure our relationship and family. A lot of it also has to do with being unselfish and not worrying too much about life always being fair.
Anonymous
07/25/2016 23:28
Subject: Re:if you're a good husband or have a good husband, share your story
DH and I have been married 26 years, been together 30 years. College sweethearts. For both him and me it was lust at first sight. And while our kids think it hilarious that we found each other "HOT" because for them we are just middle aged parents, when I look at him I still see that hot guy.
Now, we have had our lows in our marriage too, generally it was annoyance with each other because of chores , tiredness, stress of work, childcare. rudeness or something equally petty. It was never adultery (or EA), abuse or addiction. We always had a very good sex life, and while it waned when kids were born for some years, it came back in full force and in more erotic ways after kids were older.
So, I can go through the checklist of stuff for him - educated, personable, compatible sex drive, shared values, loyal, good earner - and that is all good and dandy, but what makes him a good husband for me is the following things. He has always respected me and has my back. He is very loving towards my parents and I am the same with his parents. He is a fantastic father - he can put a male seahorse to shame. He is a very principled man - very fair, believes in equality towards all, environmentally conscious and has a good moral compass.
I have been very sick for past two years and he has taken care of me, the kids, home, school, work, our relationship - single handedly and without one complaint. He has nursed me back to health so cheerfully and without any fuss, that most people did not realize that I had been sick. He has been grace under fire and very protective of me. In the end, that's what makes him a good husband.
I am so glad that he is the father of my children, because my DD knows what a good man is like, and my DS knows how to be a good man for his wife and children.
Now, we have had our lows in our marriage too, generally it was annoyance with each other because of chores , tiredness, stress of work, childcare. rudeness or something equally petty. It was never adultery (or EA), abuse or addiction. We always had a very good sex life, and while it waned when kids were born for some years, it came back in full force and in more erotic ways after kids were older.
So, I can go through the checklist of stuff for him - educated, personable, compatible sex drive, shared values, loyal, good earner - and that is all good and dandy, but what makes him a good husband for me is the following things. He has always respected me and has my back. He is very loving towards my parents and I am the same with his parents. He is a fantastic father - he can put a male seahorse to shame. He is a very principled man - very fair, believes in equality towards all, environmentally conscious and has a good moral compass.
I have been very sick for past two years and he has taken care of me, the kids, home, school, work, our relationship - single handedly and without one complaint. He has nursed me back to health so cheerfully and without any fuss, that most people did not realize that I had been sick. He has been grace under fire and very protective of me. In the end, that's what makes him a good husband.
I am so glad that he is the father of my children, because my DD knows what a good man is like, and my DS knows how to be a good man for his wife and children.
Anonymous
07/25/2016 22:00
Subject: if you're a good husband or have a good husband, share your story
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:The key to a great marriage is not a spouse who "makes me laugh", "great in bed", "makes be a better person", etc etc - it is just having low expectations.
+100
I know so many beautifful 30something women who are still waiting for their "prince charmings" and they are really missing out on good guys who would loveto date them.
Its always:
- he doesnt make enough money
- his job is not prestigious
- he didnt go to an IVY
- he is bald
DC women think they're gods gift to the world but they create their own loneliness.
Although I did not specifically seek out these characteristics, my husband makes a lot, has a prestigious job, and went to an ivy. And really, it's not all it's cracked up to be. The focus on career, money, and prestige comes at a cost. Wife/kids/home are always on the back burner. Job will always be #1.
Not true. I'm a lawyer (BigLaw refugee) who makes more than enough and went to a Little 3. I'm not bald (and, given my genetics, unlikely to be).
I love my DW and my kids, and I get to spend lots of time with both. They are my priority.
Sometimes the job means I have to travel, but the amount of time I get to spend with them when I'm not on the road means that the travel isn't so bad.
It can be done.
A man who says "little 3?" Wtf?
The Little 3 are Williams, Amherst and Wesleyan, also called the "Little Ivies."
Anonymous
07/25/2016 21:58
Subject: Re:if you're a good husband or have a good husband, share your story
My husband is amazing.
1. He used to be an alcoholic and is now sober and turned his life around
2. He's so hardworking
3. He loves my dog
4. Huge cock
5. Great cook
6. Can lift and do manly things
7. Funny
8. Huge cock
9. Stable job
10. Wants to better himself
11. Works out and good body
12. Great taste
13. Enjoy spending time together
14. Is nice to my annoying parents
1. He used to be an alcoholic and is now sober and turned his life around
2. He's so hardworking
3. He loves my dog
4. Huge cock
5. Great cook
6. Can lift and do manly things
7. Funny
8. Huge cock
9. Stable job
10. Wants to better himself
11. Works out and good body
12. Great taste
13. Enjoy spending time together
14. Is nice to my annoying parents
Anonymous
07/25/2016 21:50
Subject: if you're a good husband or have a good husband, share your story
My husband is amazing in many ways. I am a SAHM and feel he is my partner in that he pitches in with housework and kid stuff when he is home. He takes the kids out to breakfast every Saturday so I can sleep in. He does all the little repairs around the house, mows the lawn, and vacuums the house. 16 years married. Love him!