Anonymous wrote:You're making it harder for the women that come after you, and also you have no idea how you'll feel in a year. I wouldn't do it.

I"m a new poster and I think OP should do what works for her. What man thinks of what he wants to do in relation to other men? I'm pretty sure none!

She should ldn't domut because it will affect her own work relationships negatively. And it's all fun and games until the next woman taking maternity leave is shunted to the mommy track because of op.

Op just explain that maternity leave wasn't offered or leave wasn't long enough so you're unable to return to work because you're not ready. End of story. It's their fault for not offering sufficient leave.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're making it harder for the women that come after you, and also you have no idea how you'll feel in a year. I wouldn't do it.

I think the opposite. If anything you're helping the cause for normal paid maternity leave like in other countries. The quickest way for this to happen would be for every single American woman to quit her job following the birth of a child. Now that the workplace is 50 percent women companies would be forced to change their policies.

Op is simply dealing with the hand she was dealt, which is not enough leave the unpaid leave at that. She owes her company nothing.

Well, we've found the illogical Bernie supporter. No one has been talking about what op owes her employer, the issue is what is in op's own interest assuming she wants to work in the future. That requires a good network and solid references. Sticking it to the man isn't the best employment strategy.

I'm far from a Bernie supporter. I simply don't believe that in the long term it will matter if she doesn't return friends om leave. Nothing to do with sticking it to the man but rather she only has two options - return to work at x date or quit. I find it interesting you jump to such extremes and make a call on my political leanings. It says something about you.

All op needs to do is graciously explain she needs to spend more time with the baby and won't be returning. She isn't so important that people will be talking about this for more than a week. Her work has already been reassigned anyway.

You almost seem obsessed with the fact she might not return to work.

And thats where we disagree. I've personally witnessed companies punish women who take leave and then don't return with bad references. And then treat every other women in the office as likely to do the same. The rest of your post is nonsensical. Are you the same poster who said I must be jealous? I stayed home myself for five years, and without incredibly strong references, would not have been able to come back at the level I did.

Women make up 50 percent of the workforce now. Having one woman quit her job is not going to result in an employer change their opinion of half of their workforce.

Most references are focused on the work you performed and not when you quit your job. Perhaps you weren't performing well and had to be more cognizant of behaving just so following your maternity leave.

Regardless stop acting like this is the 1950s and that women need to suck it up and return from their paltry unpaid leave because if not men will judge.

Good point, so many women using maternity leave in 1950s. Oh wait, they were all stuck at home being housewives. Get a grip on your history, pp.

Anonymous wrote:You're making it harder for the women that come after you, and also you have no idea how you'll feel in a year. I wouldn't do it.

I"m a new poster and I think OP should do what works for her. What man thinks of what he wants to do in relation to other men? I'm pretty sure none!

+1

You're making it harder for the women that come after you, and also you have no idea how you'll feel in a year. I wouldn't do it.

I"m a new poster and I think OP should do what works for her. What man thinks of what he wants to do in relation to other men? I'm pretty sure none!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're making it harder for the women that come after you, and also you have no idea how you'll feel in a year. I wouldn't do it.

I think the opposite. If anything you're helping the cause for normal paid maternity leave like in other countries. The quickest way for this to happen would be for every single American woman to quit her job following the birth of a child. Now that the workplace is 50 percent women companies would be forced to change their policies.

Op is simply dealing with the hand she was dealt, which is not enough leave the unpaid leave at that. She owes her company nothing.

Well, we've found the illogical Bernie supporter. No one has been talking about what op owes her employer, the issue is what is in op's own interest assuming she wants to work in the future. That requires a good network and solid references. Sticking it to the man isn't the best employment strategy.

I'm far from a Bernie supporter. I simply don't believe that in the long term it will matter if she doesn't return from leave. Nothing to do with sticking it to the man but rather she only has two options - return to work at x date or quit. I find it interesting you jump to such extremes and make a call on my political leanings. It says something about you.

All op needs to do is graciously explain she needs to spend more time with the baby and won't be returning. She isn't so important that people will be talking about this for more than a week. Her work has already been reassigned anyway.

You almost seem obsessed with the fact she might not return to work.

And thats where we disagree. I've personally witnessed companies punish women who take leave and then don't return with bad references. And then treat every other women in the office as likely to do the same. The rest of your post is nonsensical. Are you the same poster who said I must be jealous? I stayed home myself for five years, and without incredibly strong references, would not have been able to come back at the level I did.

Women make up 50 percent of the workforce now. Having one woman quit her job is not going to result in an employer change their opinion of half of their workforce.

Most references are focused on the work you performed and not when you quit your job. Perhaps you weren't performing well and had to be more cognizant of behaving just so following your maternity leave.

Regardless stop acting like this is the 1950s and that women need to suck it up and return from their paltry unpaid leave because if not men will judge.

Your reading comp sure is poor My references were excellent. I didn't take a maternity leave and not go back. Sounds like you did and are trying to rationalize. And I'm going to exit this conversation because it has become ridiculous.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're making it harder for the women that come after you, and also you have no idea how you'll feel in a year. I wouldn't do it.

I think the opposite. If anything you're helping the cause for normal paid maternity leave like in other countries. The quickest way for this to happen would be for every single American woman to quit her job following the birth of a child. Now that the workplace is 50 percent women companies would be forced to change their policies.

Op is simply dealing with the hand she was dealt, which is not enough leave the unpaid leave at that. She owes her company nothing.

Well, we've found the illogical Bernie supporter. No one has been talking about what op owes her employer, the issue is what is in op's own interest assuming she wants to work in the future. That requires a good network and solid references. Sticking it to the man isn't the best employment strategy.

I'm far from a Bernie supporter. I simply don't believe that in the long term it will matter if she doesn't return from leave. Nothing to do with sticking it to the man but rather she only has two options - return to work at x date or quit. I find it interesting you jump to such extremes and make a call on my political leanings. It says something about you.

All op needs to do is graciously explain she needs to spend more time with the baby and won't be returning. She isn't so important that people will be talking about this for more than a week. Her work has already been reassigned anyway.

You almost seem obsessed with the fact she might not return to work.

And thats where we disagree. I've personally witnessed companies punish women who take leave and then don't return with bad references. And then treat every other women in the office as likely to do the same. The rest of your post is nonsensical. Are you the same poster who said I must be jealous? I stayed home myself for five years, and without incredibly strong references, would not have been able to come back at the level I did.

Fwiw that's actually illegal. Most reference checks are very formal and a quick phone call is made. Most people checking on references are going to be smart enough to know when someone providing a reference is bitter over losing an employee.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're making it harder for the women that come after you, and also you have no idea how you'll feel in a year. I wouldn't do it.

I think the opposite. If anything you're helping the cause for normal paid maternity leave like in other countries. The quickest way for this to happen would be for every single American woman to quit her job following the birth of a child. Now that the workplace is 50 percent women companies would be forced to change their policies.

Op is simply dealing with the hand she was dealt, which is not enough leave the unpaid leave at that. She owes her company nothing.

Well, we've found the illogical Bernie supporter. No one has been talking about what op owes her employer, the issue is what is in op's own interest assuming she wants to work in the future. That requires a good network and solid references. Sticking it to the man isn't the best employment strategy.

I'm far from a Bernie supporter. I simply don't believe that in the long term it will matter if she doesn't return from leave. Nothing to do with sticking it to the man but rather she only has two options - return to work at x date or quit. I find it interesting you jump to such extremes and make a call on my political leanings. It says something about you.

All op needs to do is graciously explain she needs to spend more time with the baby and won't be returning. She isn't so important that people will be talking about this for more than a week. Her work has already been reassigned anyway.

You almost seem obsessed with the fact she might not return to work.

And thats where we disagree. I've personally witnessed companies punish women who take leave and then don't return with bad references. And then treat every other women in the office as likely to do the same. The rest of your post is nonsensical. Are you the same poster who said I must be jealous? I stayed home myself for five years, and without incredibly strong references, would not have been able to come back at the level I did.

Women make up 50 percent of the workforce now. Having one woman quit her job is not going to result in an employer change their opinion of half of their workforce.

Most references are focused on the work you performed and not when you quit your job. Perhaps you weren't performing well and had to be more cognizant of behaving just so following your maternity leave.

Regardless stop acting like this is the 1950s and that women need to suck it up and return from their paltry unpaid leave because if not men will judge.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're making it harder for the women that come after you, and also you have no idea how you'll feel in a year. I wouldn't do it.

I think the opposite. If anything you're helping the cause for normal paid maternity leave like in other countries. The quickest way for this to happen would be for every single American woman to quit her job following the birth of a child. Now that the workplace is 50 percent women companies would be forced to change their policies.

Op is simply dealing with the hand she was dealt, which is not enough leave the unpaid leave at that. She owes her company nothing.

Well, we've found the illogical Bernie supporter. No one has been talking about what op owes her employer, the issue is what is in op's own interest assuming she wants to work in the future. That requires a good network and solid references. Sticking it to the man isn't the best employment strategy.

I'm far from a Bernie supporter. I simply don't believe that in the long term it will matter if she doesn't return from leave. Nothing to do with sticking it to the man but rather she only has two options - return to work at x date or quit. I find it interesting you jump to such extremes and make a call on my political leanings. It says something about you.

All op needs to do is graciously explain she needs to spend more time with the baby and won't be returning. She isn't so important that people will be talking about this for more than a week. Her work has already been reassigned anyway.

You almost seem obsessed with the fact she might not return to work.

And thats where we disagree. I've personally witnessed companies punish women who take leave and then don't return with bad references. And then treat every other women in the office as likely to do the same. The rest of your post is nonsensical. Are you the same poster who said I must be jealous? I stayed home myself for five years, and without incredibly strong references, would not have been able to come back at the level I did.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're making it harder for the women that come after you, and also you have no idea how you'll feel in a year. I wouldn't do it.

I think the opposite. If anything you're helping the cause for normal paid maternity leave like in other countries. The quickest way for this to happen would be for every single American woman to quit her job following the birth of a child. Now that the workplace is 50 percent women companies would be forced to change their policies.

Op is simply dealing with the hand she was dealt, which is not enough leave the unpaid leave at that. She owes her company nothing.

Well, we've found the illogical Bernie supporter. No one has been talking about what op owes her employer, the issue is what is in op's own interest assuming she wants to work in the future. That requires a good network and solid references. Sticking it to the man isn't the best employment strategy.

I'm far from a Bernie supporter. I simply don't believe that in the long term it will matter if she doesn't return from leave. Nothing to do with sticking it to the man but rather she only has two options - return to work at x date or quit. I find it interesting you jump to such extremes and make a call on my political leanings. It says something about you.

All op needs to do is graciously explain she needs to spend more time with the baby and won't be returning. She isn't so important that people will be talking about this for more than a week. Her work has already been reassigned anyway.

You almost seem obsessed with the fact she might not return to work.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're making it harder for the women that come after you, and also you have no idea how you'll feel in a year. I wouldn't do it.

I think the opposite. If anything you're helping the cause for normal paid maternity leave like in other countries. The quickest way for this to happen would be for every single American woman to quit her job following the birth of a child. Now that the workplace is 50 percent women companies would be forced to change their policies.

Op is simply dealing with the hand she was dealt, which is not enough leave the unpaid leave at that. She owes her company nothing.

Well, we've found the illogical Bernie supporter. No one has been talking about what op owes her employer, the issue is what is in op's own interest assuming she wants to work in the future. That requires a good network and solid references. Sticking it to the man isn't the best employment strategy.

So what is the proper amount of "loyalty" that OP needs to show her company in order to remain employable - it seems that leaving her job at all is not an option. Or does she have to stay a year?

Listen - plenty of women take some time off to have babies and be home more especially when kids are young. Most people understand this and OP will not have an scarlet U (for unemployable) emblazoned on her smock for ever more.

I just had a senior lawyer from a previous job be a reference for me. I left that job 5 years back - I had taken a maternity leave (which was mostly paid), returned to work for about 8 weeks, and realized that the job I hated was even worse. While I would never ask my former boss for a reference, I still had good relationships at the firm. And the guy who ended up being a reference also left the firm some time later - because men and women switch jobs when it is in their best interest.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course op can do whatever she wants. But people are delusional if they think there are no repercussions when woman take paid leave and then don't return, fed or not. I've seen it happen a few times and bridges are always burned, It also negatively affects willingness to invest in other women because supervisors worry they will leave as well.

op, if you are not sure, go back for a few months and see how you fee.

Are you people nuts? When a woman doesn't come back from maternity leave, 99% of the time she has to pay back 100% of any maternity pay she got from her employer. Get over it.

Not true at all. Very few companies have policies where an employee has to pay back time because most leave in the United States is annual leave, sick leave or std. The only way you'd have to pay back would be if you've taken leave you haven't accrued yet.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're making it harder for the women that come after you, and also you have no idea how you'll feel in a year. I wouldn't do it.

I think the opposite. If anything you're helping the cause for normal paid maternity leave like in other countries. The quickest way for this to happen would be for every single American woman to quit her job following the birth of a child. Now that the workplace is 50 percent women companies would be forced to change their policies.

Op is simply dealing with the hand she was dealt, which is not enough leave the unpaid leave at that. She owes her company nothing.

Well, we've found the illogical Bernie supporter. No one has been talking about what op owes her employer, the issue is what is in op's own interest assuming she wants to work in the future. That requires a good network and solid references. Sticking it to the man isn't the best employment strategy.

Anonymous wrote:Of course op can do whatever she wants. But people are delusional if they think there are no repercussions when woman take paid leave and then don't return, fed or not. I've seen it happen a few times and bridges are always burned, It also negatively affects willingness to invest in other women because supervisors worry they will leave as well.

op, if you are not sure, go back for a few months and see how you fee.

Are you people nuts? When a woman doesn't come back from maternity leave, 99% of the time she has to pay back 100% of any maternity pay she got from her employer. Get over it.

Anonymous wrote:You're making it harder for the women that come after you, and also you have no idea how you'll feel in a year. I wouldn't do it.

I think the opposite. If anything you're helping the cause for normal paid maternity leave like in other countries. The quickest way for this to happen would be for every single American woman to quit her job following the birth of a child. Now that the workplace is 50 percent women companies would be forced to change their policies.

Op is simply dealing with the hand she was dealt, which is not enough leave the unpaid leave at that. She owes her company nothing.