Anonymous wrote:I have a DD who is 8.5, and just had #2 4 months ago at 39. Took 4 rounds of IVF to conceive DD1, and we did 5 rounds to try for #2 which all failed. I have PCOS and immune issues and was told that another child just wasn't in the cards. We hadn't been using protection for the past 8 years just hoping I would somehow get pregnant, but I didn't. When DD was 6 we resigned ourselves to being a one child family and we were fine with it - even happy about how wonderful it was to have just one child. We traveled, she goes to private school, we are able to live in a nice area of DC because we have a smaller house.

Well, surprise, last year I somehow got pregnant. I thought I would have been overjoyed, but instead I was devastated. I knew I had to have the baby because this was what I wanted for so long, but I was so happy with our current life and didn't want to change things up. And I really didn't want to go back to the baby stage again. I was very down about it and ended up seeing a therapist, who really helped me turn my thinking around.

Fast forward to now... DS is such an unbelievable joy and welcome addition to our family. DD adores him and loves helping out. And, its great to be able to spend one on one time with DS to bond since DD is older and has her own life (school friends). And, I love that I have one more chance to experience all of those amazing firsts with another child.

I highly recommend talking to someone to help you sort through your feelings.

I have an 8.5 year spread - always happy to meet others in my situation Not a lot of us out there!

OP I am with you in wanting to hear how these stories turned out for people. We are just on the beginning of our path, with a newborn at 45 (DH 48). Seven years younger than our other DC. After infertility and multiple rounds of IVF to get to first pregnancy we were, acknowledgedly, not taking precautions. We sort of had a "if it happens, it happens" mentality. But I really didn't expect it to happen so many years later.

I had wished and wished for this baby but I feel incredibly conflicted and sad at some level--not about having her, but about how old we are. I feel a lot of fear that we will not be there for her, and regret that I didn't start trying to have children much much earlier in life and make it more of a priority. (I had two serious relationships, including one engagement, go down in flames in my 20s and didn't get married until 35, so I didn't really have the luxury of starting that much earlier, but part of me thinks if I had known how much I would want kids I would have made different choices.) I think part of it is that we have had some friends and family members have very serious health issues just in the last year or two that have made me feel my own mortality much more strongly than I did even at 40.

So having another baby so far is wonderful but I am daunted at what it will be like to raise another child. At 60 I will still have a high schooler. I just pray to God we stay healthy. And am doing everything we can to prepare for not being here, should that happen.

I have a DD who is 8.5, and just had #2 4 months ago at 39. Took 4 rounds of IVF to conceive DD1, and we did 5 rounds to try for #2 which all failed. I have PCOS and immune issues and was told that another child just wasn't in the cards. We hadn't been using protection for the past 8 years just hoping I would somehow get pregnant, but I didn't. When DD was 6 we resigned ourselves to being a one child family and we were fine with it - even happy about how wonderful it was to have just one child. We traveled, she goes to private school, we are able to live in a nice area of DC because we have a smaller house.

Well, surprise, last year I somehow got pregnant. I thought I would have been overjoyed, but instead I was devastated. I knew I had to have the baby because this was what I wanted for so long, but I was so happy with our current life and didn't want to change things up. And I really didn't want to go back to the baby stage again. I was very down about it and ended up seeing a therapist, who really helped me turn my thinking around.

Fast forward to now... DS is such an unbelievable joy and welcome addition to our family. DD adores him and loves helping out. And, its great to be able to spend one on one time with DS to bond since DD is older and has her own life (school friends). And, I love that I have one more chance to experience all of those amazing firsts with another child.

I highly recommend talking to someone to help you sort through your feelings.

We thought we were done with two kids, two years apart. Gave away all our baby stuff, started talking vasectomy. And then, when my youngest was 2.5, came the positive pregnancy test. Tears, shock, dread, some glee and excitement. I had a rough time mentally during the pregnancy and am dealing with some PPD. But my little boy is two months now and I'm as much in love with him as I was/am with his sisters. You're going to love your third kid. You will not be able to imagine your life without him or her.

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Anonymous wrote:OP here. We are mostly worried about being "old"....which I realize by DC standards 38 and 43 aren't that old...but it is much older than we thought we would be (given that we spent ages 28-34 desperately trying to get pregnant). My husband will be 61 when the kid graduates high school. That takes my breath away.

Yeah, you are sooooooooooo old at 38. Cry me a river.

She's entitled to her feelings. Cut it out.

Anonymous wrote:My mom had my brother when I was 18. Surprise. There were already 5 of us (youngest was 11 at the time). We're all adults now. He's been the joy of all our lives.

This is so sweet.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We are mostly worried about being "old"....which I realize by DC standards 38 and 43 aren't that old...but it is much older than we thought we would be (given that we spent ages 28-34 desperately trying to get pregnant). My husband will be 61 when the kid graduates high school. That takes my breath away.

Yeah, you are sooooooooooo old at 38. Cry me a river.

My kids are 28, 24, 23, 20..... and surprise! 14!

We thought we were finished. I was told I couldn't have any more children. I was only 35 when he was born, so I didn't face some of the medical concerns that older moms do. But it was still a complete shock. He has been such a blessing to our family! I simply cannot image life without him. But it did take me some time to get to a truly happy place while I was pregnant. My older boys used him to get girls. Apparently teen-age girls go crazy over babies.

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Anonymous wrote:How can any pregnancy be a surprise ? Unless there is a hysterectomy or vasectomy, you will and can get pregnant if you have sex.

Because she was told very specifically and adamantly that she could never conceive naturally, that's why. Given that, most people would be surprised. Not sure why that's so hard to understand.

But if you have eggs, sperm and a uterus there will always be a chance of conception. I don't care which doctor tells you what (and i don't know why doctors say insane things like this to begin with).

New poster here and you PP are quite stupid. When a trained and experienced medical professional makes a diagnoses based on factual evidence, a patient has every reason to trust that diagnoses. Why you would state otherwise is very strange.

lol. I am a trained medical professional. An ob/gyn. I know better than to tell patients they "could never conceive naturally". Unless they had a hysterectomy, an bilatereral oophorectomy or the husband has azoospermia there is a chance of conception.
Doctors who tell patients otherwise are playing God.
Patients who have a doctor decree, "you will never conceive" end up pregnant all the time.
Again, if there are sperm, egg and a uterus there is a chance of conception no matter what a doctor in his infinite wisdom decrees.

Fine, so it was within the realm of possibility. Given the chances, it's still reasonable to be surprised.

Yes, and I wouldn't appreciate this trained medical professional's know-it-all eye rolling if I dared to be caught off guard at such a pregnancy.