Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a nanny. My husband earns 6 figures. All he cares about is that I make a reasonable effort to look good, I'm kind to him and that I have got sex with him. That's all it takes.

What incredibly low standards. Why did he pick you instead of another attractive nanny if that's all he cares about?

Because she's the one who first started treating him nicely? Its cool if you think that's low standards, but she's describing the overwhelming majority of men. If my wife treats me and our family well and we're attracted to each other, that's pretty much all of my requirements for a happy marriage.

You don't care about common values for raising children, intellectual compatibility, spirituality....?

Anonymous wrote:Men would you date a woman who was:

- a waitress
- a retail sales associate
- a nanny

and other such jobs. Why or why not?

It is one thing if they have worked as these things, it is another if this is the end of her career choices and has no aspirations to do more or ability to do more. You also have to consider what type of waitress, at applebees or high end restaurant with great tips/income. Saks fur department on commission or The Gap. Nanny shared among many families who are struggling to have a nanny or nanny to wealthy family. All of thee have potential to earn very well.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a nanny. My husband earns 6 figures. All he cares about is that I make a reasonable effort to look good, I'm kind to him and that I have got sex with him. That's all it takes.

What incredibly low standards. Why did he pick you instead of another attractive nanny if that's all he cares about?

Because she's the one who first started treating him nicely? Its cool if you think that's low standards, but she's describing the overwhelming majority of men. If my wife treats me and our family well and we're attracted to each other, that's pretty much all of my requirements for a happy marriage.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you think men have a problem with a woman having the jobs you described, then you REALLY don't understand men.

+1.

- Man (BigLaw Partner)

Do you actually know anyone in BigLaw who married a waitress? I guess I agree with this in theory, but every high achieving man I know married a well-educated woman. The only exceptions I can think of are people in my parents generation (55 and older), and people who met as teenagers and kind of mapped out their lives together where she supported him through law school/medical school with one of the above jobs and the intent that she would SAH when he finished.

I know someone who married a Broadway showgirl when he was a Biglaw associate (he's now a partner). That lasted about 2 or 3 years.

Anonymous wrote:I'm a nanny. My husband earns 6 figures. All he cares about is that I make a reasonable effort to look good, I'm kind to him and that I have got sex with him. That's all it takes.

What incredibly low standards. Why did he pick you instead of another attractive nanny if that's all he cares about?

Anonymous wrote:I think that smart, accomplished women overestimate how much a man will value her education and professional experience. In fact, I think that men feel threatened by women who are more successful. It stings when a man at your level prefers a state school sorority bunny.

Smart, accomplished women learn early on in life - for me, it was in 8th grade - that you need to look for that true gem of a man who is not only not threatened by an intelligent, successful woman, but who seek that type of woman out.

Anonymous wrote:I think that smart, accomplished women overestimate how much a man will value her education and professional experience. In fact, I think that men feel threatened by women who are more successful. It stings when a man at your level prefers a state school sorority bunny.

Spoken like a true feminist! I don't know what college you went to, nor do I really care, but I certainly know plenty of very successful "state school" types. Ivy or "elite" entitles you to nothing. And it does nothing to show you are smarter than someone else. If you are still bragging about where you went to college well into your career, then you must be really insecure.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you think men have a problem with a woman having the jobs you described, then you REALLY don't understand men.

+1.

- Man (BigLaw Partner)

Do you actually know anyone in BigLaw who married a waitress? I guess I agree with this in theory, but every high achieving man I know married a well-educated woman. The only exceptions I can think of are people in my parents generation (55 and older), and people who met as teenagers and kind of mapped out their lives together where she supported him through law school/medical school with one of the above jobs and the intent that she would SAH when he finished.

Agree. I'm in my 40s and every man I know with a high paying professional job married someone with a very accomplished educational pedigree and almost all had professional jobs as well. Some of those women went on to be SAHMs (most didn't) but at the time they met and married were on a professional career path. I think people tend to marry their socioeconomic equals theses days.

Although I think that's growing increasingly common, I don't think it follows that men care whether their wives have a successful professional career. I think it partially reflects that our society is increasingly segregated by socioeconomic status and partially reflects that a lot of women who used to become stay-at-home moms or secretaries are now becoming executives.

I wanted to marry a woman who I thought was intelligent. I didn't care about her job, per se. If I were 70, that woman probably would have been a secretary or a SAHM. Since I'm mid-30s, she's a scientist. But I didn't seek someone with a particular career.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you think men have a problem with a woman having the jobs you described, then you REALLY don't understand men.

+1.

- Man (BigLaw Partner)

Do you actually know anyone in BigLaw who married a waitress? I guess I agree with this in theory, but every high achieving man I know married a well-educated woman. The only exceptions I can think of are people in my parents generation (55 and older), and people who met as teenagers and kind of mapped out their lives together where she supported him through law school/medical school with one of the above jobs and the intent that she would SAH when he finished.

Agree. I'm in my 40s and every man I know with a high paying professional job married someone with a very accomplished educational pedigree and almost all had professional jobs as well. Some of those women went on to be SAHMs (most didn't) but at the time they met and married were on a professional career path. I think people tend to marry their socioeconomic equals theses days.

My wife didn't have a job when we met.

I know a few women with very successful spouses who were in retail and hospitality. And they aren't bimbos. attractive and smart.

I think that smart, accomplished women overestimate how much a man will value her education and professional experience. In fact, I think that men feel threatened by women who are more successful. It stings when a man at your level prefers a state school sorority bunny.

Plenty of women in low-status jobs are intelligent, hard working, and down to earth. I have dated many of them.

Women with "real jobs" (doctor, lawyer) are often annoying and conceited as well as too wrapped up in their jobs to pay much attention to a relationship. I have dated many of them and found it less satisfying than dating the women without "real jobs".

Anonymous wrote:Men do not care. I drifted after college and worked for years as a waitress and bartender: dated an architect, a policy analyst, a fed, and an attorney. I supported myself and was cute, funny, fun, and smart - I really think that's all men care about.

And you were way cuter and nicer than anything their nerdy asses could date in high school or college. They were super-grateful to have a cute chick talk to them, much less date them.

Anonymous wrote:OP, stop being lazy.
Go to school get a degree or learn a trade.
Don't make a man your plan.

If you are ugly this is a good idea