Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Philly -- massive insecurity re NYC. Constant need to prove that NYC isn't all that. In reality it's full of people who don't leave Philly bc they can't make it anywhere else; they need to be where they were born and raised bc preferential treatment re hiring is alive and well. Don't like outsiders. Not the brightest lights in the harbor. The only city that seems to look down on the ivy league school in its cities. 'Nova, Temple, Rutgers, and Penn State grads get hired constantly over UPenn grads bc UPenn students are thought of as elitists or outsiders -- even the ones that WANT to stay in Philly after college.

+1. Philly is just insecure in general. No one cares about philly.

I dislike everyone I meet from Philly.
They are arrogant and egotistical, and racist. And so overly proud of their city, which is a crummy s-hole. Good food though!

I feel the same about Philly, which I always think of as Filthadelphia. I took Amtrak there from DC and it went through I swear shantytowns. The scene looked like a favela. It is criminal that they've allowed the public schools (not talking about surrounding suburbs) in Philly to fall to shit... much worse situation than DC. The people seemed very defensive; very proud townies who think Philly is the absolute best even though they've never been anywhere else. And I hate that weird accent they have.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Philly -- massive insecurity re NYC. Constant need to prove that NYC isn't all that. In reality it's full of people who don't leave Philly bc they can't make it anywhere else; they need to be where they were born and raised bc preferential treatment re hiring is alive and well. Don't like outsiders. Not the brightest lights in the harbor. The only city that seems to look down on the ivy league school in its cities. 'Nova, Temple, Rutgers, and Penn State grads get hired constantly over UPenn grads bc UPenn students are thought of as elitists or outsiders -- even the ones that WANT to stay in Philly after college.

+1. Philly is just insecure in general. No one cares about philly.

I dislike everyone I meet from Philly.
They are arrogant and egotistical, and racist. And so overly proud of their city, which is a crummy s-hole. Good food though!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Richmond -- old southern gentry. The type that still ask you your mother's maiden name and which local (private) school you went to. Sure there are lots of newcomers that aren't generational families and have just moved for a good job, but if you truly want to get ahead in business or law, you need to be rubbing elbows at the country club and the local weddings, which you are only invited to as a generational family. So it's hard to break into the city for real, but if you can land yourself a 100k+ job and live happily in the suburbs, it's just like life in any other middle America suburb -- albeit more conservative values, more church going etc. Also a good city if you eschew all of the above and want to be a hipster; way easier to be a hipster there bc rent is cheap.

Born and raised in RVA, but have lived up here for a decade and this assessment is true of Richmond. If you didn't grow up there, even if your parents didn't grow up there, then it's hard to truly penetrate the inner bubble. About 99% of the people I went to school with have all moved back, live in the same neighborhoods we grew up in, all go to CCV, all send their kids to the same schools we went to ( Collegiate/ St. Catherine's/ St. Christopher's), all have kids at the same cotillion, etc. it's all the same, exactly the same in the real Richmond. It's weird. I don't see the exact same pattern in Charlotte or Raleigh or other similar size cities. Outside the bubble, Richmond is like the tattoo capital of the US. It also has a huge food scene at the moment. And tons of people with personalized license plate.

Lived in RIC for a short time for a job -- I knew I was headed back to my city so I wasn't looking to get into the inner circle. The sense I got though is that it's just smaller and has fewer newcomers than Raleigh and Charlotte. That means the "inner circle" still holds its power; and its power increases every yr as more and more 20 and 30 somethings move back, buy homes in their old neighborhoods, and send their kids to Collegiate. That inner circle can make you feel like an outsider -- most of the people I knew who moved back in their 30s were NOT looking to make new friends. They just reconnected with their HS friends and that was that -- they make no effort to bring transplant colleagues or neighbors into their fold. In CLT or Raleigh, I'm sure an inner circle exists - with exclusive private schools, cotillion etc. - but it is smaller relative to the sheer # of outsiders that have moved in; thus the inner circle can't make you feel excluded as much bc there are PLENTY of transplants to hang out with and create your own community with. That makes the inner circle less important in those other places.

Anonymous wrote:Richmond -- old southern gentry. The type that still ask you your mother's maiden name and which local (private) school you went to. Sure there are lots of newcomers that aren't generational families and have just moved for a good job, but if you truly want to get ahead in business or law, you need to be rubbing elbows at the country club and the local weddings, which you are only invited to as a generational family. So it's hard to break into the city for real, but if you can land yourself a 100k+ job and live happily in the suburbs, it's just like life in any other middle America suburb -- albeit more conservative values, more church going etc. Also a good city if you eschew all of the above and want to be a hipster; way easier to be a hipster there bc rent is cheap.

Born and raised in RVA, but have lived up here for a decade and this assessment is true of Richmond. If you didn't grow up there, even if your parents didn't grow up there, then it's hard to truly penetrate the inner bubble. About 99% of the people I went to school with have all moved back, live in the same neighborhoods we grew up in, all go to CCV, all send their kids to the same schools we went to ( Collegiate/ St. Catherine's/ St. Christopher's), all have kids at the same cotillion, etc. it's all the same, exactly the same in the real Richmond. It's weird. I don't see the exact same pattern in Charlotte or Raleigh or other similar size cities. Outside the bubble, Richmond is like the tattoo capital of the US. It also has a huge food scene at the moment. And tons of people with personalized license plate.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Philly -- massive insecurity re NYC. Constant need to prove that NYC isn't all that. In reality it's full of people who don't leave Philly bc they can't make it anywhere else; they need to be where they were born and raised bc preferential treatment re hiring is alive and well. Don't like outsiders. Not the brightest lights in the harbor. The only city that seems to look down on the ivy league school in its cities. 'Nova, Temple, Rutgers, and Penn State grads get hired constantly over UPenn grads bc UPenn students are thought of as elitists or outsiders -- even the ones that WANT to stay in Philly after college.

+1. Philly is just insecure in general. No one cares about philly.

Grew up in south jersey -- a bedroom community of Philly. This is spot on. It's a VERY local -- never venture away from home mindset. There were a dozen or so very strong students in my HS class and all of us left including those who went to UPenn -- some to NYC/DC, others all over the place. The rest -- still living within 20 min of where we grew up, working wherever they have to in order to be able to stay in the area. I've run into Philly people here in DC many of whom are DYING to go back and raise their kids there. It's a nice place to raise your kids bc it's a decidedly non transient, if narrow minded, community. Though I've also learned that most people who want to go back are Main Line families -- they have wealth and typically a business they/their spouse would work in and then take over -- so it isn't about competing with the Nova grads for a decent job.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Richmond -- old southern gentry. The type that still ask you your mother's maiden name and which local (private) school you went to. Sure there are lots of newcomers that aren't generational families and have just moved for a good job, but if you truly want to get ahead in business or law, you need to be rubbing elbows at the country club and the local weddings, which you are only invited to as a generational family. So it's hard to break into the city for real, but if you can land yourself a 100k+ job and live happily in the suburbs, it's just like life in any other middle America suburb -- albeit more conservative values, more church going etc. Also a good city if you eschew all of the above and want to be a hipster; way easier to be a hipster there bc rent is cheap.

I thank the good Lord I do not have these aspirations or this mindset.

Which ones? Rubbing elbows with the generational families at the country club to see if you can make partner at your firm? Or being a regular middle America family in the suburbs? Or being a hipster?

Anonymous wrote:Richmond -- old southern gentry. The type that still ask you your mother's maiden name and which local (private) school you went to. Sure there are lots of newcomers that aren't generational families and have just moved for a good job, but if you truly want to get ahead in business or law, you need to be rubbing elbows at the country club and the local weddings, which you are only invited to as a generational family. So it's hard to break into the city for real, but if you can land yourself a 100k+ job and live happily in the suburbs, it's just like life in any other middle America suburb -- albeit more conservative values, more church going etc. Also a good city if you eschew all of the above and want to be a hipster; way easier to be a hipster there bc rent is cheap.

I thank the good Lord I do not have these aspirations or this mindset.

Anonymous wrote:Philly -- massive insecurity re NYC. Constant need to prove that NYC isn't all that. In reality it's full of people who don't leave Philly bc they can't make it anywhere else; they need to be where they were born and raised bc preferential treatment re hiring is alive and well. Don't like outsiders. Not the brightest lights in the harbor. The only city that seems to look down on the ivy league school in its cities. 'Nova, Temple, Rutgers, and Penn State grads get hired constantly over UPenn grads bc UPenn students are thought of as elitists or outsiders -- even the ones that WANT to stay in Philly after college.

+1. Philly is just insecure in general. No one cares about philly.

Philly -- massive insecurity re NYC. Constant need to prove that NYC isn't all that. In reality it's full of people who don't leave Philly bc they can't make it anywhere else; they need to be where they were born and raised bc preferential treatment re hiring is alive and well. Don't like outsiders. Not the brightest lights in the harbor. The only city that seems to look down on the ivy league school in its cities. 'Nova, Temple, Rutgers, and Penn State grads get hired constantly over UPenn grads bc UPenn students are thought of as elitists or outsiders -- even the ones that WANT to stay in Philly after college.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^pp. save enough for a downpayment on a one bedroom coop. Then you'll at least have your apartment paid off for retirement.

Absent a potential marriage bringing you back to NYC, I doubt you'll leave DC once you see how much further your downpayment will go here. I left NYC after 9 years for grad school in DC, thinking I'd return after two.
My life in DC was just so. much. easier. in every imaginable way. I couldn't give up the higher quality of life to go back to crappy NYC apartments and smell of stale urine and hot garbage in the summer. DC made me soft

I'm the PP you guys are advising. You're probably right. I left NYC saying -- I'm DONE. Not coming back. DC seemed like a good option. Now I'm here and it's meh -- except for a fantastic COL -- and I feel REALLY left out. I don't know if I can/will pull the trigger of going back bc you're right real estate was a HUGE draw for me; it's stunning to me that I pay $600-700 less/month for a truly luxury high rise than I did for a 1970s construction studio in Manhattan which had constant leak issues that no one cared to fix but was considered very nice by NYC standards as it was huge.

The NYC smells never bothered me . . . the dirtiness is part of the character. And the summers are MUCH cooler than here -- that 5 degree difference and lower humidity make it doable.

Regardless I am saving as if I will head back. I think going back with a sizeable down payment in hand puts you that far ahead of the game.

I understand. Sounds like you have a good plan. In the meantime I'd make the most of your time here. I would online date like crazy. Long term NY is probably a better city for being single. However if you were to meet mr right here in DC I have a feeling your desire to return to ny would wane. Make the most of your time here.

Richmond -- old southern gentry. The type that still ask you your mother's maiden name and which local (private) school you went to. Sure there are lots of newcomers that aren't generational families and have just moved for a good job, but if you truly want to get ahead in business or law, you need to be rubbing elbows at the country club and the local weddings, which you are only invited to as a generational family. So it's hard to break into the city for real, but if you can land yourself a 100k+ job and live happily in the suburbs, it's just like life in any other middle America suburb -- albeit more conservative values, more church going etc. Also a good city if you eschew all of the above and want to be a hipster; way easier to be a hipster there bc rent is cheap.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess this isn't a city stereotype as much as a reason for moving stereotype -- I feel like I have known a number of people who have left NYC and DC for professional and COL reasons. I.E. there's tons of competition for the best jobs in those markets in my industry, but if you can find yourself a gig in Richmond or Memphis or a bigger city like Dallas, you will command a 250k+ salary and benefit from a lower COL. They all moved for COL and are THRILLED with how far their money goes, not having to pay for private school, huge homes/cars etc. Yet they ALL seem to miss the busy, crazy, hectic, and rude-ness of NYC and DC. And this includes people who have made/tried to make a community in their new city. Sometimes it is - grass is always greener. And yet moving back doesn't seem like a viable option either bc they know a relative paycut isn't financially a great move either.

The community thing is tough. It's very hard to make connections in cities like Memphis or Richmond or Dallas or Minneapolis if you're not from there or didn't go to school there.

Eh. Can't speak for the other cities, but I had no problems making connections in MPLS. Fantastic place.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^pp. save enough for a downpayment on a one bedroom coop. Then you'll at least have your apartment paid off for retirement.

Absent a potential marriage bringing you back to NYC, I doubt you'll leave DC once you see how much further your downpayment will go here. I left NYC after 9 years for grad school in DC, thinking I'd return after two.
My life in DC was just so. much. easier. in every imaginable way. I couldn't give up the higher quality of life to go back to crappy NYC apartments and smell of stale urine and hot garbage in the summer. DC made me soft

I'm the PP you guys are advising. You're probably right. I left NYC saying -- I'm DONE. Not coming back. DC seemed like a good option. Now I'm here and it's meh -- except for a fantastic COL -- and I feel REALLY left out. I don't know if I can/will pull the trigger of going back bc you're right real estate was a HUGE draw for me; it's stunning to me that I pay $600-700 less/month for a truly luxury high rise than I did for a 1970s construction studio in Manhattan which had constant leak issues that no one cared to fix but was considered very nice by NYC standards as it was huge.

The NYC smells never bothered me . . . the dirtiness is part of the character. And the summers are MUCH cooler than here -- that 5 degree difference and lower humidity make it doable.

Regardless I am saving as if I will head back. I think going back with a sizeable down payment in hand puts you that far ahead of the game.

Anonymous wrote:I guess this isn't a city stereotype as much as a reason for moving stereotype -- I feel like I have known a number of people who have left NYC and DC for professional and COL reasons. I.E. there's tons of competition for the best jobs in those markets in my industry, but if you can find yourself a gig in Richmond or Memphis or a bigger city like Dallas, you will command a 250k+ salary and benefit from a lower COL. They all moved for COL and are THRILLED with how far their money goes, not having to pay for private school, huge homes/cars etc. Yet they ALL seem to miss the busy, crazy, hectic, and rude-ness of NYC and DC. And this includes people who have made/tried to make a community in their new city. Sometimes it is - grass is always greener. And yet moving back doesn't seem like a viable option either bc they know a relative paycut isn't financially a great move either.

The community thing is tough. It's very hard to make connections in cities like Memphis or Richmond or Dallas or Minneapolis if you're not from there or didn't go to school there.

I guess this isn't a city stereotype as much as a reason for moving stereotype -- I feel like I have known a number of people who have left NYC and DC for professional and COL reasons. I.E. there's tons of competition for the best jobs in those markets in my industry, but if you can find yourself a gig in Richmond or Memphis or a bigger city like Dallas, you will command a 250k+ salary and benefit from a lower COL. They all moved for COL and are THRILLED with how far their money goes, not having to pay for private school, huge homes/cars etc. Yet they ALL seem to miss the busy, crazy, hectic, and rude-ness of NYC and DC. And this includes people who have made/tried to make a community in their new city. Sometimes it is - grass is always greener. And yet moving back doesn't seem like a viable option either bc they know a relative paycut isn't financially a great move either.