Anonymous wrote:My marriage has been very stressed with one. I think it would be better to have a happily married mom and dad, and no sibling.

But why are you scapegoating the child for your marital stress? This makes no sense.

Don't you understand that the source of stress in your marriage is from the adults, not the child of the adults? Maybe you could start to deal more effectively with your marital and life stress if you accept responsibility for it and stop blaming the child for it.

Obviously that's a faint hope.

It's the kids fault our marriage sucks. So let's not have any more kids.

Got it.

I think having kids, whatever the number, involves a leap of faith. And you might have thought you we doing well, when that last one comes along and just kicks your ass.

My marriage has been very stressed with one. I think it would be better to have a happily married mom and dad, and no sibling.

Well everyone says if you have an only child they will be spoiled/maladjusted. So parents think they need two, even if one is already overwhelming.

The family with an 8yo and 6yo boy pushing a stroller with a 2mo? ACCIDENT. It happens.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My sil is pregnant with #3. First 2 were boys. She's gonna keep going till she gets a girl. We'll find out this fall if they will be stopping at three or on to the 4th!

I have 1 and am truly on the fence about a 2nd. I'm unsure as to how good of a parent I am. I'm concerned that if I have to split focus I will really blow it.

If you have to ask PP you're probably a shitty parent so please don't bring any more unhappy children in the world that you're ambivalent about loving.

5:45 in the morning, and up trolling already! Bravo!
If you have to get your anger, resentment, and insecurities out anonymously, immediately upon rising... You should take a moment for self reflection and analysis. Maybe therapy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What the title says. So many parents are overwhelmed with their kids but keep having more. Some even admit they don't enjoy being parents. Then why don't they quit after one? Having two in the (misguided) hopes of giving them a playmate to take the pressure off, I can understand. But why go on to make a third, when even two are too much to handle? I just don't get it. Can anybody enlighten me?

Some people actually love their children, OP, evidently unlike your own parents. Too bad for you.

PP, your ignorance astounds me. Loving them means more than just birthing them. It means providing for them, giving them attention and raising them to be functional adults and members of society. I'd wager a guess that OP's children will grow up feeling much more loved and much less resentment towards their mother than your unsupervised, ramboncious, ill-mannered, rude baseball team. But I guess if you don't know your limits, it's no surprise you turn out as bitter and resentful as you.

Anonymous wrote:Why do so many "pro-choicers" wring their hands over large families?

They're not pro choice, they're anti-kid. They were miserable as children because their moms were shrill feminists and they never felt secure and loved as children. They think because they were (and are, as adults) unhappy children, the state of childhood (and by inference, parenthood), must be one of intrinsic unhappiness.

It's called "projection." They have no clue that a large family with lots of children can have a lot of love even with all the work it brings because being from highly dysfunctional families themselves they never experienced it and can't even imagine it.

Anonymous wrote:My sil is pregnant with #3. First 2 were boys. She's gonna keep going till she gets a girl. We'll find out this fall if they will be stopping at three or on to the 4th!

I have 1 and am truly on the fence about a 2nd. I'm unsure as to how good of a parent I am. I'm concerned that if I have to split focus I will really blow it.

If you have to ask PP you're probably a shitty parent so please don't bring any more unhappy children in the world that you're ambivalent about loving.

Anonymous wrote:What the title says. So many parents are overwhelmed with their kids but keep having more. Some even admit they don't enjoy being parents. Then why don't they quit after one? Having two in the (misguided) hopes of giving them a playmate to take the pressure off, I can understand. But why go on to make a third, when even two are too much to handle? I just don't get it. Can anybody enlighten me?

Some people actually love their children, OP, evidently unlike your own parents. Too bad for you.

Anonymous wrote:My sil is pregnant with #3. First 2 were boys. She's gonna keep going till she gets a girl. We'll find out this fall if they will be stopping at three or on to the 4th!

I have 1 and am truly on the fence about a 2nd. I'm unsure as to how good of a parent I am. I'm concerned that if I have to split focus I will really blow it.

The fact that you're actually considering that, are honest to yourself and put thought into making such a life-changing decision is a testament to what a GOOD parent you are! Regardless of what you decide, at least you'll have the certainty of not having made the decision lightly and only with having your child's best interest at heart.

My sil is pregnant with #3. First 2 were boys. She's gonna keep going till she gets a girl. We'll find out this fall if they will be stopping at three or on to the 4th!

I have 1 and am truly on the fence about a 2nd. I'm unsure as to how good of a parent I am. I'm concerned that if I have to split focus I will really blow it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because sometimes people are just stupid.

Yes, it's a good thing the world has smart people like you, sitting at the microbrewery nursing an awesome IPA, to tell us how stupid we all are for having children.

I actually have children and wouldnt have to continued to have them if if I couldn't handle them. Duh.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Playing the long game. It's frustrating when they are young, but rewarding as they get older.

But wouldn't it be more rewarding to foster a good relationship with few kids than be a stressed out, unavailable parent to many? Being a parent is hard if you have one or many, but if you realize you're already at the end of your rope, why add more stress? How does that make for a better family life down the line?

+10000

Selfishness. Pure and simple.

The truly selfish are the antinatalists who hate kids and hate those who have kids.

Oh look, there's a new brew pub to try.

I'm not the PP, but really, "antinatalist?" No, I'm not anti-kid, I'm pro-parenting. When you actually try and teach your kids how to be good human beings and not just run rampant through the world. I'm not anti-joy (nor do I drink craft beer). I love joy,
I love my kids and I spend a lot of time trying to be a good parent to them, by listening and teaching and helping them navigate the world. Giving birth is not the same as parenting. "Antinatalist" has got to be one of
The stupidest blogosphere terms I have ever heard.

Anonymous wrote:Because sometimes people are just stupid.

Yes, it's a good thing the world has smart people like you, sitting at the microbrewery nursing an awesome IPA, to tell us how stupid we all are for having children.