Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So my 14 year old recently came out as bisexual. I have that part under control - it really wasn't a big deal, we were able to tell her we love & accept her no matter what, etc. She also told us she was in a relationship with someone we previous thought was "just a friend." Again, not a big deal, we know & like the other girl, and they are both the right age for first "special friendships," whether with a male or female. The part I'm stumped on is how to handle sleepovers from here on out. Prior to this, she has both had sleepovers at other girls' homes and had girls over here, including with the "girlfriend." We supervise, are in and out of the rooms where they are, but are not in the room 100% of the time. I certainly wouldn't be letting a teenage girl have a sleepover with a boy, but how do I handle same-sex sleepovers when there is same sex attraction? For the short term, we have said she can still spend time with the "girlfriend," but no more sleepovers with her, but have still said yes to a sleepover with another girl. I don't want to put a blanket "no sleepovers" rule, but I am feeling conflicted now. What would you do?

No 14 year old has any idea whether they are gay or bisexual. While five years ago she would have been shunned and made fun of its now all the rage to pretend to be gay or bisexual. A 14 year old does not have a clue what they are unless they have had sex with a boy and another girl and I doubt that has happened.

It's high school drama and the less you talk about it the better that things will turn out.

You have absolutely no idea what you are talking about. Please don't give advice on this topic.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So my 14 year old recently came out as bisexual. I have that part under control - it really wasn't a big deal, we were able to tell her we love & accept her no matter what, etc. She also told us she was in a relationship with someone we previous thought was "just a friend." Again, not a big deal, we know & like the other girl, and they are both the right age for first "special friendships," whether with a male or female. The part I'm stumped on is how to handle sleepovers from here on out. Prior to this, she has both had sleepovers at other girls' homes and had girls over here, including with the "girlfriend." We supervise, are in and out of the rooms where they are, but are not in the room 100% of the time. I certainly wouldn't be letting a teenage girl have a sleepover with a boy, but how do I handle same-sex sleepovers when there is same sex attraction? For the short term, we have said she can still spend time with the "girlfriend," but no more sleepovers with her, but have still said yes to a sleepover with another girl. I don't want to put a blanket "no sleepovers" rule, but I am feeling conflicted now. What would you do?

No 14 year old has any idea whether they are gay or bisexual. While five years ago she would have been shunned and made fun of its now all the rage to pretend to be gay or bisexual. A 14 year old does not have a clue what they are unless they have had sex with a boy and another girl and I doubt that has happened.

It's high school drama and the less you talk about it the better that things will turn out.

Word ^^. It really is a trend these days. Dont pay too much attention to this nonsense.

Who are you people? Do you really live in the DC area? You freak me out.

I, for one, not only live "in the DC area," but I live right in the heart of so-called liberal NW DC and I send my kids to a so-called liberal private school. And absolutely, yes, it is a fad. Have you been in a middle school or high school lately? THAT is what should freak you out.

OP, you didn't ask for opinions on this, but since I'm posting I will add that if I were you, sleepovers would be the least of my concerns. I would be working to get my DD out of this madness ASAP.

What if <gasp> gender and sexuality aren't binary, and people can love whomever they love, and felt free to come out with the understanding and respect of those around them? What if positive proclamations of gender and sexuality "differences" led to people being proud of, rather than ashamed of, who they are? That would be awesome.

That's what I'm seeing out of the teenagers I know. Gay, straight, in between, and allies. And I'm proud of them for it!

And -- gasp -- what if pigs could fly? What's your point? Are you really saying that every bizarre urge a person feels for any minute of their life should be indulged? Every thought should be spoken?

She is saying that she does't view same sex relations as bizarre. There, full stop. There is the difference in your view points. If someone is gay and doesn't make an effort to hide that, say if they have a spouse for example and mention their name in conversation, that is by most people's definition not "in your face". To you, it is. What you see as bizarre and confrontational, others will see as a normal part of human existence. I don't believe that ALL viewpoints are equal just because there happen to be 2 of them. I think the idea of a bias of fairness is a real and somewhat dangerous concept that leads our society to think that we are split more often than not. So no, I'm not going to say "each are valid or equal opinions" because I don't believe they are.

On the contrary. I don't think that a gay person mentioning a spouse by name, or wearing a wedding ring, or anything like that is in-your-face at all. Schools designing curricula to teach young children about the normalcy of homosexuality, or sponsoring "pride" events for mid-schoolers, on the other hand, is very in-your-face. Are you saying that you don't see the difference?

Time to join Westboro Baptist church and enroll your kids in strict Catholic school.

Public schools are civic schools and gay people can marry in a civic ceremony. It is allowed because it doesn't hurt anyone and makes some people very happy. Who are you to judge? Who are you to say what is too in your face? Many kids have gay parents. Should they be treated like crap? Learn some tolerance.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So my 14 year old recently came out as bisexual. I have that part under control - it really wasn't a big deal, we were able to tell her we love & accept her no matter what, etc. She also told us she was in a relationship with someone we previous thought was "just a friend." Again, not a big deal, we know & like the other girl, and they are both the right age for first "special friendships," whether with a male or female. The part I'm stumped on is how to handle sleepovers from here on out. Prior to this, she has both had sleepovers at other girls' homes and had girls over here, including with the "girlfriend." We supervise, are in and out of the rooms where they are, but are not in the room 100% of the time. I certainly wouldn't be letting a teenage girl have a sleepover with a boy, but how do I handle same-sex sleepovers when there is same sex attraction? For the short term, we have said she can still spend time with the "girlfriend," but no more sleepovers with her, but have still said yes to a sleepover with another girl. I don't want to put a blanket "no sleepovers" rule, but I am feeling conflicted now. What would you do?

No 14 year old has any idea whether they are gay or bisexual. While five years ago she would have been shunned and made fun of its now all the rage to pretend to be gay or bisexual. A 14 year old does not have a clue what they are unless they have had sex with a boy and another girl and I doubt that has happened.

It's high school drama and the less you talk about it the better that things will turn out.

You have absolutely no idea what you are talking about. Please don't give advice on this topic.

Anonymous wrote:Why not let her have the sleepover but discuss in advance that no sexual activity of any kind is allowed and the girls must sleep separately. Why should they be denied the fun of a sleepover, which is mainly talking into the night, watching movies, and eating snacks. Make it a matter of trust.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So my 14 year old recently came out as bisexual. I have that part under control - it really wasn't a big deal, we were able to tell her we love & accept her no matter what, etc. She also told us she was in a relationship with someone we previous thought was "just a friend." Again, not a big deal, we know & like the other girl, and they are both the right age for first "special friendships," whether with a male or female. The part I'm stumped on is how to handle sleepovers from here on out. Prior to this, she has both had sleepovers at other girls' homes and had girls over here, including with the "girlfriend." We supervise, are in and out of the rooms where they are, but are not in the room 100% of the time. I certainly wouldn't be letting a teenage girl have a sleepover with a boy, but how do I handle same-sex sleepovers when there is same sex attraction? For the short term, we have said she can still spend time with the "girlfriend," but no more sleepovers with her, but have still said yes to a sleepover with another girl. I don't want to put a blanket "no sleepovers" rule, but I am feeling conflicted now. What would you do?

No 14 year old has any idea whether they are gay or bisexual. While five years ago she would have been shunned and made fun of its now all the rage to pretend to be gay or bisexual. A 14 year old does not have a clue what they are unless they have had sex with a boy and another girl and I doubt that has happened.

It's high school drama and the less you talk about it the better that things will turn out.

Anonymous wrote:So my 14 year old recently came out as bisexual. I have that part under control - it really wasn't a big deal, we were able to tell her we love & accept her no matter what, etc. She also told us she was in a relationship with someone we previous thought was "just a friend." Again, not a big deal, we know & like the other girl, and they are both the right age for first "special friendships," whether with a male or female. The part I'm stumped on is how to handle sleepovers from here on out. Prior to this, she has both had sleepovers at other girls' homes and had girls over here, including with the "girlfriend." We supervise, are in and out of the rooms where they are, but are not in the room 100% of the time. I certainly wouldn't be letting a teenage girl have a sleepover with a boy, but how do I handle same-sex sleepovers when there is same sex attraction? For the short term, we have said she can still spend time with the "girlfriend," but no more sleepovers with her, but have still said yes to a sleepover with another girl. I don't want to put a blanket "no sleepovers" rule, but I am feeling conflicted now. What would you do?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't pay any attention to this bisexual nonsense from a high school girl. It's the latest cool phase to go through these days.

People have been saying this for decades. Saying it over and over does not make it true.

Absolutely false. What is new now -- and I mean within the last 5 - 10 years, most likely since you were in high school -- is the fadness and trendiness of being bi, gay, transexual, transgendered and anything else you can think of. The in-your-faceness of it is completely new. The stand up and announce! Proclaim! is new. THAT is what is making so many of these kids experiment, to their own eventual detriment. Which of course is the intent.

Who cares what they do or what they experiment? Honestly, who cares! It doesn't change them. Detriment???

I would care and of course, sexual/ intimate/ love relationships change them. Are you really that dense that you don't know that? I'm sincerely hoping you're not a parent IRL.

Sorry to disappoint but I am a mom to four, 2 teens and 2 younger. 1 teen is bisexual. She is loved, happy and thriving. The other is hetero. Loved, happy and thriving. Both are in simple relationships. I don't treat consensual teen relationships as detrimental. I think it a part of growing up, maturing and learning. I am happy they trust in me to talk about their relationships.

and once they go off to college, I hope they value their body and treat themselves and others with respect no matter if it is a boy or a girl. And if they have sex to practice safe sex. And if they ever have questions, concerns, or just need a shoulder, I want them to know I will forever love them and NEVER judge them.

But yes, I must be dense to someone as ignorant as yourself.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So my 14 year old recently came out as bisexual. I have that part under control - it really wasn't a big deal, we were able to tell her we love & accept her no matter what, etc. She also told us she was in a relationship with someone we previous thought was "just a friend." Again, not a big deal, we know & like the other girl, and they are both the right age for first "special friendships," whether with a male or female. The part I'm stumped on is how to handle sleepovers from here on out. Prior to this, she has both had sleepovers at other girls' homes and had girls over here, including with the "girlfriend." We supervise, are in and out of the rooms where they are, but are not in the room 100% of the time. I certainly wouldn't be letting a teenage girl have a sleepover with a boy, but how do I handle same-sex sleepovers when there is same sex attraction? For the short term, we have said she can still spend time with the "girlfriend," but no more sleepovers with her, but have still said yes to a sleepover with another girl. I don't want to put a blanket "no sleepovers" rule, but I am feeling conflicted now. What would you do?

No 14 year old has any idea whether they are gay or bisexual. While five years ago she would have been shunned and made fun of its now all the rage to pretend to be gay or bisexual. A 14 year old does not have a clue what they are unless they have had sex with a boy and another girl and I doubt that has happened.

It's high school drama and the less you talk about it the better that things will turn out.

Word ^^. It really is a trend these days. Dont pay too much attention to this nonsense.

Who are you people? Do you really live in the DC area? You freak me out.

I, for one, not only live "in the DC area," but I live right in the heart of so-called liberal NW DC and I send my kids to a so-called liberal private school. And absolutely, yes, it is a fad. Have you been in a middle school or high school lately? THAT is what should freak you out.

OP, you didn't ask for opinions on this, but since I'm posting I will add that if I were you, sleepovers would be the least of my concerns. I would be working to get my DD out of this madness ASAP.

What if <gasp> gender and sexuality aren't binary, and people can love whomever they love, and felt free to come out with the understanding and respect of those around them? What if positive proclamations of gender and sexuality "differences" led to people being proud of, rather than ashamed of, who they are? That would be awesome.

That's what I'm seeing out of the teenagers I know. Gay, straight, in between, and allies. And I'm proud of them for it!

And -- gasp -- what if pigs could fly? What's your point? Are you really saying that every bizarre urge a person feels for any minute of their life should be indulged? Every thought should be spoken?

She is saying that she does't view same sex relations as bizarre. There, full stop. There is the difference in your view points. If someone is gay and doesn't make an effort to hide that, say if they have a spouse for example and mention their name in conversation, that is by most people's definition not "in your face". To you, it is. What you see as bizarre and confrontational, others will see as a normal part of human existence. I don't believe that ALL viewpoints are equal just because there happen to be 2 of them. I think the idea of a bias of fairness is a real and somewhat dangerous concept that leads our society to think that we are split more often than not. So no, I'm not going to say "each are valid or equal opinions" because I don't believe they are.

On the contrary. I don't think that a gay person mentioning a spouse by name, or wearing a wedding ring, or anything like that is in-your-face at all. Schools designing curricula to teach young children about the normalcy of homosexuality, or sponsoring "pride" events for mid-schoolers, on the other hand, is very in-your-face. Are you saying that you don't see the difference?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't pay any attention to this bisexual nonsense from a high school girl. It's the latest cool phase to go through these days.

People have been saying this for decades. Saying it over and over does not make it true.

Absolutely false. What is new now -- and I mean within the last 5 - 10 years, most likely since you were in high school -- is the fadness and trendiness of being bi, gay, transexual, transgendered and anything else you can think of. The in-your-faceness of it is completely new. The stand up and announce! Proclaim! is new. THAT is what is making so many of these kids experiment, to their own eventual detriment. Which of course is the intent.

Who cares what they do or what they experiment? Honestly, who cares! It doesn't change them. Detriment???

I would care and of course, sexual/ intimate/ love relationships change them. Are you really that dense that you don't know that? I'm sincerely hoping you're not a parent IRL.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So my 14 year old recently came out as bisexual. I have that part under control - it really wasn't a big deal, we were able to tell her we love & accept her no matter what, etc. She also told us she was in a relationship with someone we previous thought was "just a friend." Again, not a big deal, we know & like the other girl, and they are both the right age for first "special friendships," whether with a male or female. The part I'm stumped on is how to handle sleepovers from here on out. Prior to this, she has both had sleepovers at other girls' homes and had girls over here, including with the "girlfriend." We supervise, are in and out of the rooms where they are, but are not in the room 100% of the time. I certainly wouldn't be letting a teenage girl have a sleepover with a boy, but how do I handle same-sex sleepovers when there is same sex attraction? For the short term, we have said she can still spend time with the "girlfriend," but no more sleepovers with her, but have still said yes to a sleepover with another girl. I don't want to put a blanket "no sleepovers" rule, but I am feeling conflicted now. What would you do?

No 14 year old has any idea whether they are gay or bisexual. While five years ago she would have been shunned and made fun of its now all the rage to pretend to be gay or bisexual. A 14 year old does not have a clue what they are unless they have had sex with a boy and another girl and I doubt that has happened.

It's high school drama and the less you talk about it the better that things will turn out.

Word ^^. It really is a trend these days. Dont pay too much attention to this nonsense.

Who are you people? Do you really live in the DC area? You freak me out.

I, for one, not only live "in the DC area," but I live right in the heart of so-called liberal NW DC and I send my kids to a so-called liberal private school. And absolutely, yes, it is a fad. Have you been in a middle school or high school lately? THAT is what should freak you out.

OP, you didn't ask for opinions on this, but since I'm posting I will add that if I were you, sleepovers would be the least of my concerns. I would be working to get my DD out of this madness ASAP.

What if <gasp> gender and sexuality aren't binary, and people can love whomever they love, and felt free to come out with the understanding and respect of those around them? What if positive proclamations of gender and sexuality "differences" led to people being proud of, rather than ashamed of, who they are? That would be awesome.

That's what I'm seeing out of the teenagers I know. Gay, straight, in between, and allies. And I'm proud of them for it!

And -- gasp -- what if pigs could fly? What's your point? Are you really saying that every bizarre urge a person feels for any minute of their life should be indulged? Every thought should be spoken?

She is saying that she does't view same sex relations as bizarre. There, full stop. There is the difference in your view points. If someone is gay and doesn't make an effort to hide that, say if they have a spouse for example and mention their name in conversation, that is by most people's definition not "in your face". To you, it is. What you see as bizarre and confrontational, others will see as a normal part of human existence. I don't believe that ALL viewpoints are equal just because there happen to be 2 of them. I think the idea of a bias of fairness is a real and somewhat dangerous concept that leads our society to think that we are split more often than not. So no, I'm not going to say "each are valid or equal opinions" because I don't believe they are.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So my 14 year old recently came out as bisexual. I have that part under control - it really wasn't a big deal, we were able to tell her we love & accept her no matter what, etc. She also told us she was in a relationship with someone we previous thought was "just a friend." Again, not a big deal, we know & like the other girl, and they are both the right age for first "special friendships," whether with a male or female. The part I'm stumped on is how to handle sleepovers from here on out. Prior to this, she has both had sleepovers at other girls' homes and had girls over here, including with the "girlfriend." We supervise, are in and out of the rooms where they are, but are not in the room 100% of the time. I certainly wouldn't be letting a teenage girl have a sleepover with a boy, but how do I handle same-sex sleepovers when there is same sex attraction? For the short term, we have said she can still spend time with the "girlfriend," but no more sleepovers with her, but have still said yes to a sleepover with another girl. I don't want to put a blanket "no sleepovers" rule, but I am feeling conflicted now. What would you do?

No 14 year old has any idea whether they are gay or bisexual. While five years ago she would have been shunned and made fun of its now all the rage to pretend to be gay or bisexual. A 14 year old does not have a clue what they are unless they have had sex with a boy and another girl and I doubt that has happened.

It's high school drama and the less you talk about it the better that things will turn out.

Word ^^. It really is a trend these days. Dont pay too much attention to this nonsense.

Who are you people? Do you really live in the DC area? You freak me out.

I, for one, not only live "in the DC area," but I live right in the heart of so-called liberal NW DC and I send my kids to a so-called liberal private school. And absolutely, yes, it is a fad. Have you been in a middle school or high school lately? THAT is what should freak you out.

OP, you didn't ask for opinions on this, but since I'm posting I will add that if I were you, sleepovers would be the least of my concerns. I would be working to get my DD out of this madness ASAP.

What if <gasp> gender and sexuality aren't binary, and people can love whomever they love, and felt free to come out with the understanding and respect of those around them? What if positive proclamations of gender and sexuality "differences" led to people being proud of, rather than ashamed of, who they are? That would be awesome.

That's what I'm seeing out of the teenagers I know. Gay, straight, in between, and allies. And I'm proud of them for it!

And -- gasp -- what if pigs could fly? What's your point? Are you really saying that every bizarre urge a person feels for any minute of their life should be indulged? Every thought should be spoken?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So my 14 year old recently came out as bisexual. I have that part under control - it really wasn't a big deal, we were able to tell her we love & accept her no matter what, etc. She also told us she was in a relationship with someone we previous thought was "just a friend." Again, not a big deal, we know & like the other girl, and they are both the right age for first "special friendships," whether with a male or female. The part I'm stumped on is how to handle sleepovers from here on out. Prior to this, she has both had sleepovers at other girls' homes and had girls over here, including with the "girlfriend." We supervise, are in and out of the rooms where they are, but are not in the room 100% of the time. I certainly wouldn't be letting a teenage girl have a sleepover with a boy, but how do I handle same-sex sleepovers when there is same sex attraction? For the short term, we have said she can still spend time with the "girlfriend," but no more sleepovers with her, but have still said yes to a sleepover with another girl. I don't want to put a blanket "no sleepovers" rule, but I am feeling conflicted now. What would you do?

No 14 year old has any idea whether they are gay or bisexual. While five years ago she would have been shunned and made fun of its now all the rage to pretend to be gay or bisexual. A 14 year old does not have a clue what they are unless they have had sex with a boy and another girl and I doubt that has happened.

It's high school drama and the less you talk about it the better that things will turn out.

Word ^^. It really is a trend these days. Dont pay too much attention to this nonsense.

Who are you people? Do you really live in the DC area? You freak me out.

I, for one, not only live "in the DC area," but I live right in the heart of so-called liberal NW DC and I send my kids to a so-called liberal private school. And absolutely, yes, it is a fad. Have you been in a middle school or high school lately? THAT is what should freak you out.

OP, you didn't ask for opinions on this, but since I'm posting I will add that if I were you, sleepovers would be the least of my concerns. I would be working to get my DD out of this madness ASAP.

What if <gasp> gender and sexuality aren't binary, and people can love whomever they love, and felt free to come out with the understanding and respect of those around them? What if positive proclamations of gender and sexuality "differences" led to people being proud of, rather than ashamed of, who they are? That would be awesome.

That's what I'm seeing out of the teenagers I know. Gay, straight, in between, and allies. And I'm proud of them for it!

And -- gasp -- what if pigs could fly? What's your point? Are you really saying that every bizarre urge a person feels for any minute of their life should be indulged? Every thought should be spoken?

Nope. I'm saying that gender and sexuality aren't binary, and that they are important things that help make us full-fledged human beings. And they're absolutely things that play a big part in how an adolescent develops. I (a mostly-straight ciswoman) remember pining over boy after boy when I was 12-17 years old. I wrote pages and pages in my diary. I had long, fraught conversations and passed notes with my friends. And I had honest talks with my mom about them. I can only imagine how difficult it would have been if (1) those thoughts and urges were something that I had been made to feel ashamed of, and (2) my mom refused to talk with me about them.