Anonymous wrote:OP, do you pay attention when he's being good and doing the things you want? I once got into a horrible cycle with my son where I gave too much attention to negative behaviors, and none to positive behaviors. When working with a child psychologist he said that I needed to find a way to reverse that - your attention is what the child wants so they will get it however they can.

Anonymous wrote:OP here, thanks everyone, I don't also mind tangenial discussions at all!
I am trying to work on increasing sleep bit by bit, but I almost never have to wake him up for school, so I guess he gets more or less enough sleep? I am trying to move bedtime earlier just in case.

I will hold off the elimination of screen time for now. I remember how he was sick and stayed home for a few days and he got even more of it, but was so sweet, and he asked me- let's not go anywhere for a few days?
So maybe he is overscheduled. He loves karate though. Swimming I really want him to continue for safety reasons.
I will think of what I can do to help him recharge. I also don't like it that at school he gets too many treats, it's always either someone's birthday or a party to celebrate something or they have extra free snacks supplied by the school and he always wants to have some.
Thank you everyone for assuring me that he is not spoiled and there isn't anything wrong with him in a big way.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I may miss some connotations as English is not my first language.
Sometimes my kid behaves in a way that makes me think he is deliberately trying to make me scream and yell and generally lose control. I also sometimes think he is spoiled.
On the good days I can see that he is trying, really trying, but something is "possessing" him.
I am just so tired of the constant battle of wills. I am not super strict, I don't have sky high expectations of him, but he almost never does something when asked nicely, it seems.
I also dread his interactions with most kids in my presence, as there is almost always some kind of unwanted behavior. I am always on high guard.
He likes trying to boss me around when someone else is present. Give it to me! Bring me the toys! I just say that is not the way we talk to each other and don't do what he asks for until he asks nicely, but it happens again and again. It seems like he is upset that "I am the boss of him".
It's probably a phase but I am so tired of this sh.t.

Who's the parent? Sounds like you need to be more strict.

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I may miss some connotations as English is not my first language.
Sometimes my kid behaves in a way that makes me think he is deliberately trying to make me scream and yell and generally lose control. I also sometimes think he is spoiled.
On the good days I can see that he is trying, really trying, but something is "possessing" him.
I am just so tired of the constant battle of wills. I am not super strict, I don't have sky high expectations of him, but he almost never does something when asked nicely, it seems.
I also dread his interactions with most kids in my presence, as there is almost always some kind of unwanted behavior. I am always on high guard.
He likes trying to boss me around when someone else is present. Give it to me! Bring me the toys! I just say that is not the way we talk to each other and don't do what he asks for until he asks nicely, but it happens again and again. It seems like he is upset that "I am the boss of him".
It's probably a phase but I am so tired of this sh.t.

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I may miss some connotations as English is not my first language.
Sometimes my kid behaves in a way that makes me think he is deliberately trying to make me scream and yell and generally lose control. I also sometimes think he is spoiled.
On the good days I can see that he is trying, really trying, but something is "possessing" him.
I am just so tired of the constant battle of wills. I am not super strict, I don't have sky high expectations of him, but he almost never does something when asked nicely, it seems.
I also dread his interactions with most kids in my presence, as there is almost always some kind of unwanted behavior. I am always on high guard.
He likes trying to boss me around when someone else is present. Give it to me! Bring me the toys! I just say that is not the way we talk to each other and don't do what he asks for until he asks nicely, but it happens again and again. It seems like he is upset that "I am the boss of him".
It's probably a phase but I am so tired of this sh.t.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm trying to figure out, reading this thread, why I have such a strong negative reaction to the word "brat." I found myself recoiling when people were calling gorilla kid that. I wonder why that word gins up such strong emotion in me? It just seems so horribly glib and disrespectful and patronizing. Why did you choose that word in your subject title, OP?

NP. I agree. I think brat is very dismissive and an extremely detached way to describe ones child. It's dehumanizing. This is what turns you off. Anything dehumanizing is the worst kind of descriptor.

Anonymous wrote:I'm trying to figure out, reading this thread, why I have such a strong negative reaction to the word "brat." I found myself recoiling when people were calling gorilla kid that. I wonder why that word gins up such strong emotion in me? It just seems so horribly glib and disrespectful and patronizing. Why did you choose that word in your subject title, OP?