Anonymous wrote:I am in a profession that seems to have a lot of infidelity.

I have been accused of being the OW TWICE. The first time, I was truly shocked. I had no interest in the guy and his wife was screaming at me in the middle of a dinner party. It was the first time I realized that my female-ness in this nearly all male profession was going to be a problem.

Another time, I had a massive crush on the guy I was accused of cheating with. I'm sure my crush was obvious, though I'd never acted on it. In that case, I was insanely curious about the wife. I went up to her and started asking her about herself. Later on, she made a huge scene.

You sound batshit crazy.

I am in a profession that seems to have a lot of infidelity.

I have been accused of being the OW TWICE. The first time, I was truly shocked. I had no interest in the guy and his wife was screaming at me in the middle of a dinner party. It was the first time I realized that my female-ness in this nearly all male profession was going to be a problem.

Another time, I had a massive crush on the guy I was accused of cheating with. I'm sure my crush was obvious, though I'd never acted on it. In that case, I was insanely curious about the wife. I went up to her and started asking her about herself. Later on, she made a huge scene.

Anonymous wrote:Every single time a guy has cheated on me, I knew it when I met the girls/saw traces of her on social media. I e been cheated on by pretty much every guy I've ever dated, so now it's not even a 6th sense. I just assume and in always right. What can I say? I pick losers.

On a dating hiatus now, trying to change the pattern and work on myself.

Good for you.

Anonymous wrote:Taking so much joy in misfortunes of others has a name in psychiatry

Revenge is a dish best served cold. Really.

Anonymous wrote:Taking so much joy in misfortunes of others has a name in psychiatry

That could be, causing misfortune has one too I would think.

*precious

I truly believe that your senses are something previous & not to be ignored. I have had situations where even my blood seemed to freeze after sensing something unexpectedly.

I say trust that feeling 1000% and go with it.

OP, I am curious....what is the 'activity' that your husband goes out and does, w/o you??

Taking so much joy in misfortunes of others has a name in psychiatry

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
It's a horrible way to live, and it's classified as abuse. I told this story on here before, but me and our friends still talk about this lady we know who was in your exact situation. She took it for quite awhile because of small kids etc. but she paid back the DH and the OW. She slowly tortured them by sending anon stuff like thongs to herself so he suspected the OW was causing trouble....hang up calls. Long story, but the OW and DH were turning on each other and she sat back and laughed while going to an attorney to find out her best strategy. She was bad, but did well in the divorce getting good support and the family home.

It was a shock to all of us because for years she was a doormat, then a 180 turn. That guy is broke now, he's a mess...so is the OW who also got divorced.

Oh god this is awesome.

I know! It's so good it sounds like an urban legend. Great story, thanks for sharing!

I swear it's not. The cheated on wife was the sister of my roommate from college. Her husband's OW and her husband were my clients. The cheated on wife and cheater's babysitter was my friend! Sorry long story, but I was getting the story from all these sources. She did take it a little far, because over the course of year she sold some of his stuff he wouldn't miss to put as much money away as possible. The lawyer said it was legal along as it was joint and wasn't his before the marriage.

She was a great mother and wanted a 3rd child so she did purposely (I suspect) get pregnant. Meanwhile she never let on she knew what he was up too. After the baby she went from p/t to f/t as a Dietitian then dropped the bomb on him. Today she's happily remarried and they are living in that same house. The OW is still fighting in court 4 years later with her ex husband over all kinds of stuff.

Oh yes, trust your gut, OP if you are generally in tune with it. I'm sorry. I'd maybe try to figure out how you want this to play out before you do anything.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
It's a horrible way to live, and it's classified as abuse. I told this story on here before, but me and our friends still talk about this lady we know who was in your exact situation. She took it for quite awhile because of small kids etc. but she paid back the DH and the OW. She slowly tortured them by sending anon stuff like thongs to herself so he suspected the OW was causing trouble....hang up calls. Long story, but the OW and DH were turning on each other and she sat back and laughed while going to an attorney to find out her best strategy. She was bad, but did well in the divorce getting good support and the family home.

It was a shock to all of us because for years she was a doormat, then a 180 turn. That guy is broke now, he's a mess...so is the OW who also got divorced.

Oh god this is awesome.

I know! It's so good it sounds like an urban legend. Great story, thanks for sharing!

Anonymous wrote:
It's a horrible way to live, and it's classified as abuse. I told this story on here before, but me and our friends still talk about this lady we know who was in your exact situation. She took it for quite awhile because of small kids etc. but she paid back the DH and the OW. She slowly tortured them by sending anon stuff like thongs to herself so he suspected the OW was causing trouble....hang up calls. Long story, but the OW and DH were turning on each other and she sat back and laughed while going to an attorney to find out her best strategy. She was bad, but did well in the divorce getting good support and the family home.

It was a shock to all of us because for years she was a doormat, then a 180 turn. That guy is broke now, he's a mess...so is the OW who also got divorced.

Oh god this is awesome.

Anonymous wrote:I knew. Several times with different women through the years.

My ex-husband was a sociopath.

It's traumatizing. For me, a rush of adrenaline flowed through my body, my chest got tight, and I could hardly breath. Face bright red, sort of a weird wind-sound in my ears.

What I've learned since is that living in a situation like this is so unhealthy and so traumatizing that women (or men) tend to get physically sick from the stress.

OP, I hope you get to the bottom of it. Please don't live like this for long.

It's a horrible way to live, and it's classified as abuse. I told this story on here before, but me and our friends still talk about this lady we know who was in your exact situation. She took it for quite awhile because of small kids etc. but she paid back the DH and the OW. She slowly tortured them by sending anon stuff like thongs to herself so he suspected the OW was causing trouble....hang up calls. Long story, but the OW and DH were turning on each other and she sat back and laughed while going to an attorney to find out her best strategy. She was bad, but did well in the divorce getting good support and the family home.

It was a shock to all of us because for years she was a doormat, then a 180 turn. That guy is broke now, he's a mess...so is the OW who also got divorced.

PaigeKeller wrote:OP, one time I had gone to a holiday party for a hospital that I was interning at. I was fairly close (professionally) with many of the doctors there-I was only 24 and considered them to be mentors in my field. I had not met any of the wives but had heard stories of them and their children so I was glad to meet all of the wives. During this party one of the wives took me aside and told me to stay the hell away from her husband. She went on to tell me that she wouldn't let another woman ruin her family and she could tell right away what was going on here.

I was FLABBERGASTED!

So I usually believe in trusting your gut but with this kind of stuff, my experience says otherwise. Her husband and I had nothing going and absolutely never would. Maybe her husband was a serial cheater which only goes to show how little I knew of him.

lol He probably did cheat on her and was no good. Then you wonder why she would want to keep a prize like that instead of protecting herself and planning ahead.