Anonymous wrote:You may think it's an innocent question, but younger siblings can be super-sensitive to implied disapproval. When you ask questions about her choices, it feels like you are questioning her judgment.

This +1 - my younger sister blows up quite a bit at questions that sound like I may be judging her for her decisions. I've sort of learned to tiptoe around most of it. Half our family is middle eastern on my mother's side, so I understand the pressure of living up to familial expectations. Especially if you are more successful or your family seems to favor you more, it becomes harder for your sister to disassociate their bad behavior with your own relationship with her.

It's hard and sometimes my sister and I still have rocky moments, but we make it work.

Anonymous wrote:OP, is there a chance that your sister is breaking away from the family in the way that you've always wanted to do but never have had the guts to do? She's dating a white guy, she's going running, she's doing other things that your parents might not approve of. Or is she rejecting your heritage and becoming American, which scares you?

This isn't your fight. Apologize. Back off. Wait for her to come to you.

I've been skimming the other comments (and your other posts) & I wholeheartedly agree with this. I don't have your background, but I have gone to another country for schooling and found out way more about myself than I expected (nothing to to with "sex" or "guys"). It was simply finding a new point of view, one that took a while to sort through.

Your background is more intense than mine, so my experience did not have the same impact on my family. Howe er, I do believe you best course of action is to not alienate her. Call/text/email/send a letter/whatever...Let her know that no matter what happens or how long it will be, you'll always accept her message.

In my experience, this is the best thing that was done for me. Good Luck to you and yours.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, your questions of why to everything remind me of my mother. I always feel like she's judging my every move because of it. It's exhausting trying to maneuver a conversation with her. Just listen to her, not everything requires a why.

"Mom, why are you always questioning me? I feel like you're judging my every move. It's exhausting. I don't owe you a why." Done.

Or, perhaps remove the chip from your shoulder and think that maybe she is just interested in what you're doing???

I think this PP probably goes around asking why everyone chooses what they chose, or how much they make, or tells people they look tired.

Op, you sound like you're very socially awkward and your sister isn't. Give her space, and get yourself some therapy to help you navigate your life here without close family nearby. You don't seem used to being on your own. If you treat everyone the same way you treat your sister, you risk pushing more people away, and right now you probably need friends more than you realize.

Or you can keep doing what you're doing, and posting threads wondering why it's not working well for you. We'll keep answering the same way, and maybe one day it'll click.

Anonymous wrote:Op, your questions of why to everything remind me of my mother. I always feel like she's judging my every move because of it. It's exhausting trying to maneuver a conversation with her. Just listen to her, not everything requires a why.

"Mom, why are you always questioning me? I feel like you're judging my every move. It's exhausting. I don't owe you a why." Done.

Or, perhaps remove the chip from your shoulder and think that maybe she is just interested in what you're doing???

Jesus. Why are people jumping all over OP? For asking questions? For being what I would describe as questioning? This is not "critical", base on what I've read. Some of you are incredibly thinned skinned and obviously defensive.

Why did you do X? Answer or not. This is more about the sister's over-sensitivity in my book. Just b/c you're the youngest doesn't mean you were born without a spine. You're offended by questions??? GMAFB.

OP, this is your sister's issue. I think it's fair to reflect to see if there is a pattern of criticism here. Unreasonable criticism. If there is, maybe you apologize. But, your sister is acting like a spoiled horse's ass. And there's really nothing you can do about it. Back off. Give her time. Either she'll come around or she won't, and you'll have to mourn that. But, this is on her. There is not a single post on here, just a lot of speculation, to support her behavior as described.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, is there a chance that your sister is breaking away from the family in the way that you've always wanted to do but never have had the guts to do? She's dating a white guy, she's going running, she's doing other things that your parents might not approve of. Or is she rejecting your heritage and becoming American, which scares you?

This isn't your fight. Apologize. Back off. Wait for her to come to you.

She's running, eating salads - what a rebel. Scandalous really.

Some oddly hostile people on all of these "sister" threads. Weird.

Ha! I'm the "rebel" poster. I wasn't being hostile at all, just seeing the humor in what this poor sister is putting up with in her family.

"Why did you order salad"? Poor sister. Poor, poor thing, putting up with that....

My guess is a lifetime of constantly having your decisions questioned. The salad might be the final straw in a very long list of "Why did you do x?"

Big deal. She needs to grow up. She (and you) want OP to accept her but she won't accept the OP. This is how the OP is. Siblings can be annoying. Move on.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, is there a chance that your sister is breaking away from the family in the way that you've always wanted to do but never have had the guts to do? She's dating a white guy, she's going running, she's doing other things that your parents might not approve of. Or is she rejecting your heritage and becoming American, which scares you?

This isn't your fight. Apologize. Back off. Wait for her to come to you.

She's running, eating salads - what a rebel. Scandalous really.

Some oddly hostile people on all of these "sister" threads. Weird.

Ha! I'm the "rebel" poster. I wasn't being hostile at all, just seeing the humor in what this poor sister is putting up with in her family.

"Why did you order salad"? Poor sister. Poor, poor thing, putting up with that....

My guess is a lifetime of constantly having your decisions questioned. The salad might be the final straw in a very long list of "Why did you do x?"

OP sounds like some of the MILs people complain about. "What did I do?!"

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, is there a chance that your sister is breaking away from the family in the way that you've always wanted to do but never have had the guts to do? She's dating a white guy, she's going running, she's doing other things that your parents might not approve of. Or is she rejecting your heritage and becoming American, which scares you?

This isn't your fight. Apologize. Back off. Wait for her to come to you.

She's running, eating salads - what a rebel. Scandalous really.

Some oddly hostile people on all of these "sister" threads. Weird.

Ha! I'm the "rebel" poster. I wasn't being hostile at all, just seeing the humor in what this poor sister is putting up with in her family.

"Why did you order salad"? Poor sister. Poor, poor thing, putting up with that....

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, is there a chance that your sister is breaking away from the family in the way that you've always wanted to do but never have had the guts to do? She's dating a white guy, she's going running, she's doing other things that your parents might not approve of. Or is she rejecting your heritage and becoming American, which scares you?

This isn't your fight. Apologize. Back off. Wait for her to come to you.

She's running, eating salads - what a rebel. Scandalous really.

Some oddly hostile people on all of these "sister" threads. Weird.

Ha! I'm the "rebel" poster. I wasn't being hostile at all, just seeing the humor in what this poor sister is putting up with in her family.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, is there a chance that your sister is breaking away from the family in the way that you've always wanted to do but never have had the guts to do? She's dating a white guy, she's going running, she's doing other things that your parents might not approve of. Or is she rejecting your heritage and becoming American, which scares you?

This isn't your fight. Apologize. Back off. Wait for her to come to you.

She's running, eating salads - what a rebel. Scandalous really.

Some oddly hostile people on all of these "sister" threads. Weird.

Anonymous wrote:OP, is there a chance that your sister is breaking away from the family in the way that you've always wanted to do but never have had the guts to do? She's dating a white guy, she's going running, she's doing other things that your parents might not approve of. Or is she rejecting your heritage and becoming American, which scares you?

This isn't your fight. Apologize. Back off. Wait for her to come to you.

She's running, eating salads - what a rebel. Scandalous really.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"This of course hurt my feelings because I had always been forthright with her about my feelings and I wanted to share her pain with me too. She just would not."

Jesus christ OP, YOUR ARE NOT THE BOSS OF YOUR SISTER'S FEELINGS. She can share NOTHING with you if she wants to, and that is perfectly ok.

Holy shit you have unbelievable control, and probably narcissistic tendencies. I am astonished that you're this selfish. It's like you're completely lacking the ability to see anything from your sister's perspective, while wanting everything in return.

Stop making your poor sister your hobby. Get some interests and activities of your own. Leave her alone, and get your own life.

You posted this on another thread. Are you the sister or something? Why are you hopping up and down, PP?

No, that was another poster. I am *a* sister, but not OP's sister - though can relate.

Anonymous wrote:"This of course hurt my feelings because I had always been forthright with her about my feelings and I wanted to share her pain with me too. She just would not."

Jesus christ OP, YOUR ARE NOT THE BOSS OF YOUR SISTER'S FEELINGS. She can share NOTHING with you if she wants to, and that is perfectly ok.

Holy shit you have unbelievable control, and probably narcissistic tendencies. I am astonished that you're this selfish. It's like you're completely lacking the ability to see anything from your sister's perspective, while wanting everything in return.

Stop making your poor sister your hobby. Get some interests and activities of your own. Leave her alone, and get your own life.

You posted this on another thread. Are you the sister or something? Why are you hopping up and down, PP?

Op, your questions of why to everything remind me of my mother. I always feel like she's judging my every move because of it. It's exhausting trying to maneuver a conversation with her. Just listen to her, not everything requires a why.