Anonymous
Post 04/27/2016 09:50     Subject: Elaine or Elyse ? Plus name poaching?
My aunt did this. Her and my mom aren't particularly close and the name thing drove an even bigger wedge into the relationship. It's been 25 years and it's still weird.

My brother is Robert David and my aunt named her son David Robert. Brother goes by Robert but my aunt made it a point to call her son "David Robert" or even "Robbie".

It's super annoying to both my brother and cousin. They're caught in the middle of a stupid name feud.
Anonymous
Post 04/27/2016 09:15     Subject: Re:Elaine or Elyse ? Plus name poaching?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Forget about Margaux. It's a nice name but it's too weird to use the same name as your niece when it's not a very common name. If the name was super common like Olivia or Elizabeth or something, that might be different. Elise is pretty, I'd go with that as the first and for the middle just pick something that sounds nice w Elise. how about something easy and pretty like Marie? Elise Marie is a nice name and gives you a similar vibe to Elise Margaux without totally poaching your nieces name. I think spelling Elyse with a y is an awful idea, though. It will create a lifetime of your daughter correcting the spelling of her name and is not worth it just to avoid the same spelling as your nieces middle name.


I totally agree with this. Go with Elise and find another middle name. Maybe to honor a family member? Elise Marie is lovely. Or Elise Claire. Elise Sabine. Elise Clara. Elise Catherine. Elise Jane.

Seriously, if you give your child almost the same name as your niece but only would it be really crazy, it might really upset your sister. If I was your sister I would be surprised and upset.



OP here.
Don't care that much about my sister. She's been self-involved and a bully my whole life. I don't like any of those names. It feels like it's just one more thing I can't have because of her. I can't even give my baby the name I want.




Op, please find another name you like and move on with your life. Think of it from your daughters perspective: would she want you to give her the exact same name as her cousin but reversing first and middle? Or Would she think it was weird and unimaginative? and would it make her wonder about her own parents' judgment? Which might lead her to ask you why you did that and if you were honest you'd tell her "because your aunt is a jerk who "stole" the name I liked 13 years before you were born!" And your daughter will then be like ok great my mom is insane...
Anonymous
Post 04/26/2016 22:58     Subject: Elaine or Elyse ? Plus name poaching?
Wow, ok. So there are way more issues at play here.

I know you are upset and hormonal right now, which just makes it worse.

You still do have time. I literally was still considering names until we left for the hospital. With #1, we left with 3 possible names that took the entire 40 weeks to agree upon. When she was born, we ruled out one and then debated the final two for 18 hours and finally just picked one. I felt unsure for a month after that, but finally I felt like it was the right decision. With #2, we had a frontrunner from about 6 weeks but wanted a couple backups. We really only had one backup but were stuck on middle names, so we really did go back to the drawing board the weekend before my c-section. Dropped the runner up name that had been there since early on and replaced it with another name....which just a couple short days later wound up being the name we used because the frontrunner just didn't "fit" That took a while to get used to as well, but I think it was mostly because I was so in love with the name I thought was "perfect" #2's name suits her, though, and we are happy with both our girls' names.
Anonymous
Post 04/26/2016 22:55     Subject: Elaine or Elyse ? Plus name poaching?
Hahahahaha haha. Oh man people like OP crack me up. Her poor husband
Anonymous
Post 04/26/2016 22:55     Subject: Elaine or Elyse ? Plus name poaching?
I'm hoping this is pregnancy hormones and not your true self. Just name your kid what you want, no matter how many eye rolls you get. To do differently will probably make you so insufferable you won't have to worry about the eye rolling. Agree with pp that you seem way to self absorbed and over dramatic to have a kid
Anonymous
Post 04/26/2016 22:54     Subject: Re:Elaine or Elyse ? Plus name poaching?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Forget about Margaux. It's a nice name but it's too weird to use the same name as your niece when it's not a very common name. If the name was super common like Olivia or Elizabeth or something, that might be different. Elise is pretty, I'd go with that as the first and for the middle just pick something that sounds nice w Elise. how about something easy and pretty like Marie? Elise Marie is a nice name and gives you a similar vibe to Elise Margaux without totally poaching your nieces name. I think spelling Elyse with a y is an awful idea, though. It will create a lifetime of your daughter correcting the spelling of her name and is not worth it just to avoid the same spelling as your nieces middle name.


I totally agree with this. Go with Elise and find another middle name. Maybe to honor a family member? Elise Marie is lovely. Or Elise Claire. Elise Sabine. Elise Clara. Elise Catherine. Elise Jane.

Seriously, if you give your child almost the same name as your niece but only would it be really crazy, it might really upset your sister. If I was your sister I would be surprised and upset.



OP here.
Don't care that much about my sister. She's been self-involved and a bully my whole life. I don't like any of those names. It feels like it's just one more thing I can't have because of her. I can't even give my baby the name I want.




Maybe it's true that you don't care about your sister but by choosing a name that is almost an exact copy of what she chose you are sending the exact opposite message, to her and the world. In fact it will kind of seem like you're obsessed. There are literally millions of other names out there.


Exactly. You will seem obsessed and insane. Even if you hate your sister, what about your niece? Have you considered or do you care how she will feel?
Anonymous
Post 04/26/2016 22:52     Subject: Elaine or Elyse ? Plus name poaching?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP here,

Don't know what else to name her. We're running out of time as she's due in a matter of weeks.
We've tried, I just hate every name but the 3 names in this thread.
I can't give my baby a name I hate. I'm ready to give up.


Can we help you, maybe? Tell us what you are looking for in a name and maybe we can suggest something,

I already said I liked Elaine. Can you settle on that one as it isn't the same names as your niece and maybe we can help with middle names?



I suppose we could go with Elaine. I don't love it , but my husband suggested it and it's okay. We have an alternate middle name of Grace.

Elaine Grace is fine. Just like everything has always been for me. Just fine.

Oh my gosh lady pull it together! You are about to become a mother. You sound like a whiney self-obsessed child. You asked and we all agree. It would be insane to use the same names as your sister's child. Name her whatever you want. Honestly, you should try to do some serious work on yourself before the baby arrives.
Anonymous
Post 04/26/2016 22:08     Subject: Elaine or Elyse ? Plus name poaching?
Anonymous wrote:OP here.

I would like to just name her Margaux, but that would be to weird.

Going with the Elyse spelling because Elise happens to be niece's middle name which I also loved.

I didn't have the kids first so I didn't get to claim them. Trying to find something to be happy with.

Husband thinks it doesn't matter, but he's not too fond of my sister.

I like Elaine too.


If your niece's name is Margaux Elise and you name your baby Elyse Margaux that is too much. You need to branch out.
Anonymous
Post 04/26/2016 21:59     Subject: Elaine or Elyse ? Plus name poaching?
Anonymous wrote:Eliza Grace



I kind of like Eliza too.
Anonymous
Post 04/26/2016 21:59     Subject: Elaine or Elyse ? Plus name poaching?
Elouise
I like that one more
Not the one that sounds like e-lice
Anonymous
Post 04/26/2016 21:53     Subject: Elaine or Elyse ? Plus name poaching?
Eliza Grace
Anonymous
Post 04/26/2016 21:48     Subject: Re:Elaine or Elyse ? Plus name poaching?
Elaine
Anonymous
Post 04/26/2016 21:47     Subject: Elaine or Elyse ? Plus name poaching?
Elyse Marie!
Anonymous
Post 04/26/2016 21:45     Subject: Elaine or Elyse ? Plus name poaching?
Anonymous wrote:I kind of like Noelle, but she isn't going to be born at Christmas.


I know a Noelle who was born in July. It's fine.
Anonymous
Post 04/26/2016 21:41     Subject: Re:Elaine or Elyse ? Plus name poaching?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Forget about Margaux. It's a nice name but it's too weird to use the same name as your niece when it's not a very common name. If the name was super common like Olivia or Elizabeth or something, that might be different. Elise is pretty, I'd go with that as the first and for the middle just pick something that sounds nice w Elise. how about something easy and pretty like Marie? Elise Marie is a nice name and gives you a similar vibe to Elise Margaux without totally poaching your nieces name. I think spelling Elyse with a y is an awful idea, though. It will create a lifetime of your daughter correcting the spelling of her name and is not worth it just to avoid the same spelling as your nieces middle name.


I totally agree with this. Go with Elise and find another middle name. Maybe to honor a family member? Elise Marie is lovely. Or Elise Claire. Elise Sabine. Elise Clara. Elise Catherine. Elise Jane.

Seriously, if you give your child almost the same name as your niece but only would it be really crazy, it might really upset your sister. If I was your sister I would be surprised and upset.



OP here.
Don't care that much about my sister. She's been self-involved and a bully my whole life. I don't like any of those names. It feels like it's just one more thing I can't have because of her. I can't even give my baby the name I want.




Maybe it's true that you don't care about your sister but by choosing a name that is almost an exact copy of what she chose you are sending the exact opposite message, to her and the world. In fact it will kind of seem like you're obsessed. There are literally millions of other names out there.