I dated someone for a couple years who lied about this stuff. First, it was that he had finished his phd. In fact, he had worked on it alot, but hadn't finished it entirely (although he finally did work on it while we were dating and got the degree). There were other lies too, though. Like, about past girlfriends (like, the last one being was married), and he didn't tell me he had a sister for at least a year into our relationship. He was embarrassed by certain aspects of his family or his own behavior and ultimately was not an honest or stable or trustworthy person. Wish I had broken up earlier and not invested a couple years--the lies were signs.

As for the OP--I'm curious, what after 20 years got you suspecting?

My dh lied about graduating high school. He got a GED and now seems to collect advanced degrees (that I've been around for, so I know they are legitimate) but really... in his case, it was an embarrassment thing. I hate stupid lies but I can understand.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My fiance' at the time lied about having a certain college degree on his resume and in a job interview. The lie was uncovered and the job offer rescinded. It was with a major corporation. I remember being shocked and disappointed in him at the time. Learned later that that he lied easily about many things and our relationship ended.

This. People who can lie easily are sociopaths. No sweating, very believable. They are frozen and rotten inside. Avoid like the plague.

These are huge red flags to run! Not acceptable.

Anonymous wrote:Well a lot of people do bend the rules to reach the top.

We've ALL heard the stories from (now) successful people who claim they fudged a bit to get to the level of success they are at now.

So I am stuck on the fence.

You have to lie to your WIFE to get to reach the top?

Anonymous wrote:Interesting.

I could absolutely understand why your SO would lie about not having a college degree. I have a bachelors degree and am doing well, but since I moved to the DMV, even I get questions as to why I didn't go to grad school (b/c it was not necessary for me to be successful).

People, especially in this area, place a high value on your worth in society by how much money and how many degrees or credentials you have. If you have been able to make it far in life w/o a degree, those have have them will generally think less of your abilities, and question if your success if legitimate.

I would probably lie to me SO about having a degree if I was trying to keep up with an ongoing/historical lie. It would be weird to have dinner with friends/colleagues with your SO in the room, and talk about college if my SO knows I'm lying about it. That would be my guess.

This makes sense.

But what a boring topic of conversation to be had again and again and again. I can see it maybe once but who wants to sit around and discuss credentials at every social gathering? No thanks.

What else did he probably lie about?

Stds?

Previous marriage?

Name?

Family?

WHO IS HE REALLY

If you're able to keep up, good for you. $30 after taxes is not bad at all.

It depends on what a nanny is hired to do. No, you don't need a degree to wipe infants' bottoms. Yes, you do, if parents look for a person who will assist in children's education etc.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a nanny and lie about having a college degree. I'm smart but I was lazy and never even got a credit in university. I'm from overseas so it's hard to confirm my degree. I earn $30/hr in a major city. Having a degree is not necessary to be a nanny, but everyone says they want a nanny with a college degree, so I guess I have one now.

A nanny doesn't need a degree at all!!

All she needs is the ability to handle chaos like a champ, provide unconditional love in even the toughest situations plus actually ENJOY being around children and being a team player.

No University or textbook can teach all that.

So in my humble opinion, a college degree means zilch to me when finding a superior nanny for my family!

[b]

Nanny again- I'm fully engaged wth the children in my care, not on the phone at work ever (they're at school right now), take them on educational outings, teach them a foreign language, and keep the house running and organize the schedules. I don't think a degree is necessary to be a nanny, but every well paying job advertised says a degree is required. I wish I had one, but I don't.

Anonymous wrote:I'm a nanny and lie about having a college degree. I'm smart but I was lazy and never even got a credit in university. I'm from overseas so it's hard to confirm my degree. I earn $30/hr in a major city. Having a degree is not necessary to be a nanny, but everyone says they want a nanny with a college degree, so I guess I have one now.

A nanny doesn't need a degree at all!!

All she needs is the ability to handle chaos like a champ, provide unconditional love in even the toughest situations plus actually ENJOY being around children and being a team player.

No University or textbook can teach all that.

So in my humble opinion, a college degree means zilch to me when finding a superior nanny for my family!

Well a lot of people do bend the rules to reach the top.

We've ALL heard the stories from (now) successful people who claim they fudged a bit to get to the level of success they are at now.

So I am stuck on the fence.

Anonymous wrote:OP (and others) is it the lie or the education that bothers you most? I went to m man's Ph.D oral examination. We all had a great party afterwards.

My husband doesn't have a college degree. He went to school for a couple years, but dropped out. He has been very successful since and his lack of degree hasn't been a huge impediment to professional success - he discloses his educational history when called to do so by prospective employers. Before they ask, though? His resume says that he attended X university for X years. It doesn't mention a degree, just the subject of study. I understand why he does it, but I was sure that at some point, he would get called on it.

And what do you know? He got called on it by an employer who assumed that he had this particular degree (not a generic BA but something subject-specific to the field he works in), and we could tell that they were annoyed he didn't actually have the degree. He's 45 and has 25 years of work history in the field that is more than substitutional for an undergraduate degree, but even so, it was awkward.

My advice to people who have almost complete degrees who are lying about them is to just finish the degree. If my husband had been claiming to have a degree that he didn't have, that would have very serious implications for our family's livelihood since him getting fired for that kind of lie would result in a 50% drop in our income.

I'm a nanny and lie about having a college degree. I'm smart but I was lazy and never even got a credit in university. I'm from overseas so it's hard to confirm my degree. I earn $30/hr in a major city. Having a degree is not necessary to be a nanny, but everyone says they want a nanny with a college degree, so I guess I have one now.

Anonymous wrote:My bf didn't have a degree at all, just took some business classes but had a great job for many years. After she died when I was trying to see if her husband posted an obituary I saw her Linkedin. She claimed she had a bachelor's in Bus. Adm. When I looked up the school, they only had 2 year degrees though I knew she didn't have that. Why do people do this kind of thing?

Vanity.

Anonymous wrote:OP (and others) is it the lie or the education that bothers you most? I went to m man's Ph.D oral examination. We all had a great party afterwards.

The lie.

Interesting.

I could absolutely understand why your SO would lie about not having a college degree. I have a bachelors degree and am doing well, but since I moved to the DMV, even I get questions as to why I didn't go to grad school (b/c it was not necessary for me to be successful).

People, especially in this area, place a high value on your worth in society by how much money and how many degrees or credentials you have. If you have been able to make it far in life w/o a degree, those have have them will generally think less of your abilities, and question if your success if legitimate.

I would probably lie to me SO about having a degree if I was trying to keep up with an ongoing/historical lie. It would be weird to have dinner with friends/colleagues with your SO in the room, and talk about college if my SO knows I'm lying about it. That would be my guess.