I grew up with a mom with dissolved into an illness and a secondary gain scenario whenever life threw her a curveball or whenever there was any anxiety-provoking event (my brother's engagement; birth of a grandchild, you name it). There's constantly a medical reason why she can't do the slightest thing from holding my newborn to trying Thai food. There's no point trying to help or giving support because you get sucked in.

When you grow up like this, you become very rigid and rigorous with yourself about not allowing yourself to overmedicalize (or even medicalize) any life situation. It's hard to sort out real symptoms because you are so afraid you are dramatizing. I'm constantly telling myself no, I don't have a headache, no I don't need Advil, doubting my own symptoms, telling myself I'm overdramatic, fearing I'm turning into her. I let an upper respiratory infection turn into meningitis because I kept telling myself I was not really sick. Yeah.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your mom sounds like someone with a personality disorder. Call her out and blow it up, or remain silent yet tense. The choice is yours, but never give in.

That's a horrible way to deal with people and the issue at hand. You sound like a combative person.

I disagree. The PP sounds like someone experienced in dealing with someone with a personality disorder, as am I. Sadly, those really are one's only likely viable options when dealing with someone with a true personality disorder. Sorry, but you sound misinformed and unnecessarily judgmental.