7:53 poster here and I do believe my father had a second, secret family @ 10:45's!

I will say that once we went away to college, our dad exerted very little control over our on-campus activities/antics. He did worry that my oldest sister would leave college her junior year and get married and never return to school. She didn't!

One brother got very ill sophomore year and there was some discussion that he'd recover better at home/take a break or semester off. Dad didn't want him to try to manage a full courseload and manage medical appointments (without a car). Brother recovered fast, but since then my dad always said that if we got sick, we'd have to come home. Always scared me.
Also, our dad discouraged us from having cars likely knowing that we'd leave campus on weekends or worse, drive home frequently, never to return again. I was perhaps the worst flight risk (and had a boyfriend across the state at another college) and so, in retrospect, this was best.

Anonymous wrote:I didn't move "home" after college; I got a job and scrabbled to support myself from the start. It would have been bizarre if my dad (mom isn't living) HAD tried to impose "rules" on me, a self-supporting adult who didn't live in his home.

Same here. My mom & dad paid for my college education. Immediately after graduation, I got a job (kick started by my senior year internship), a roommate, and an apartment. A year later, I moved into a two-bedroom on my own, with a well-paying job that also enabled me to put money into savings. My parents have helped me in small ways here and there, but I always paid rent, bills, car payments, and insurance on my own, and always with a steady job. We have a very good relationship.

My brother had a harder time getting his life kick-started: went to college for a couple of years, then moved back home while working. He dropped back into school after another few years, graduated, moved cross-country, and has been MORE than self-sufficient, though he always has a room at our parents' house. They also have a very good relationship. (And he's a phenomenal uncle to DS.)

Mom & dad have always been supportive, but never asked for a curfew or anything else like that from us. And in return, they know that we'll take care of them.

My parents' rule after graduation:

GET A JOB.

No ifs, ands, or buts.

My parents paid for our Catholic university education (Notre Dame for three of us; Villanova for three of us). If we were to go to a private that was not Catholic, we might as well go to a public school.

Graduate in 4 years.

Work the entire time. Try to be an RA if possible to offset tuition.

Be responsible for all personal spending $$.

No credit cards.

No car.

No fraternity or sorority (there were none at ND anyway) until my three younger sisters got to Villanova, where there was a Greek system. They had to pay for that stuff themselves, though.

Study abroad -- also self-funded.

Anonymous wrote:I'll bite.

I was the fourth (and last child) to go to college and be fully funded by my father. He educated all of us and at one time he had three concurrent tuition payments. We had more rules pertaining to college admissions and student life. Don't recall any rules for after graduation.

We all stayed in state. Rule one.

No part-time jobs off campus. I was an RA to offset tuition.

Worked for spending money every break; we all had office positions on winter and summer (sometimes spring) breaks.

We were required to graduate in four years. I had to do summer school and take 18 (!) credit hours for two semesters, but I did it.

No extracurricular activities would be funded by dad. Fraternity? We had to pay for it.

No car at school.

I don't think any of this is unreasonable at all. There is a difference between this (teaching personal and financial responsibility) and making an otherwise adult be home by "curfew". Did you student life rules involve a curfew, pp?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, I should have been more clear. This question is aimed at the people whose college was paid for by their parents, not those people who paid their own way through.

Op, you don't get to control your adult child just because you,paid for college

Np here I'm 33 my parents did pay for my college years ago but even if they hadn't I would still listen to them because Thats how I was raised. I'm not aloud outside after dark. Which can be difficult in the winter when it gets dark at 5pm. I do work from home so it works for me. I have to ask before I eat food or buy anything. I'm so used to it now it's second nature. My parents are across the country so timing is key.

Wait... what?

I read that a couple of pages back and decided to let it go (probably like everyone else). First, it might be a troll. And secondly, why would she (assuming woman) continue to follow the rules if her parents live across the country. At that point, these are her rules, not theirs. I don't know if she calls them to ask to eat or if she waits for a phone call granting permission for the next meal.

She is that same weird poster with parents who live in California but won't let her cut her hair. She is always making posts asking us all how to deal with it but none of us can ever help her coz like, this is so beyond normal.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, I should have been more clear. This question is aimed at the people whose college was paid for by their parents, not those people who paid their own way through.

Op, you don't get to control your adult child just because you,paid for college

Np here I'm 33 my parents did pay for my college years ago but even if they hadn't I would still listen to them because Thats how I was raised. I'm not aloud outside after dark. Which can be difficult in the winter when it gets dark at 5pm. I do work from home so it works for me. I have to ask before I eat food or buy anything. I'm so used to it now it's second nature. My parents are across the country so timing is key.

Wait... what?

I read that a couple of pages back and decided to let it go (probably like everyone else). First, it might be a troll. And secondly, why would she (assuming woman) continue to follow the rules if her parents live across the country. At that point, these are her rules, not theirs. I don't know if she calls them to ask to eat or if she waits for a phone call granting permission for the next meal.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a rule before I graduated: I had to major in something I could be employed in. So I had to minor in philosophy. Best advice I ever got!

Philosophy majors out-earn other humanities majors.

http://www.theatlantic.com/notes/2015/09/philosophy-majors-out-earn-other-humanities/403555/

It always cracks me up whenever someone posts and article claiming that liberal arts majors earn more. All that article did was list a bunch of corporate executives who had UNDERGRADUATE degrees in philosophy. If you major in a vague liberal arts field, you need an graduate degree and some solid skills on your resume before you get a job. Nobody is going to hire someone with a BA in philosophy and no work experience or skills.

Re-read the post: Philosophy majors out-earn other humanities majors.

I know two philosophy majors who got great jobs right out of college, making good salaries. They both had internship and work experience - but that is a prerequisite for employability for any student in today's world.

What rules? This is weird AF. I graduated, got a great job lined up and lived with my best friend. I was an adult. Adults don't give other adults rules.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry, I should have been more clear. This question is aimed at the people whose college was paid for by their parents, not those people who paid their own way through.

Op, you don't get to control your adult child just because you,paid for college

Np here I'm 33 my parents did pay for my college years ago but even if they hadn't I would still listen to them because Thats how I was raised. I'm not aloud outside after dark. Which can be difficult in the winter when it gets dark at 5pm. I do work from home so it works for me. I have to ask before I eat food or buy anything. I'm so used to it now it's second nature. My parents are across the country so timing is key.

Wait... what?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a rule before I graduated: I had to major in something I could be employed in. So I had to minor in philosophy. Best advice I ever got!

Philosophy majors out-earn other humanities majors.

http://www.theatlantic.com/notes/2015/09/philosophy-majors-out-earn-other-humanities/403555/

It always cracks me up whenever someone posts and article claiming that liberal arts majors earn more. All that article did was list a bunch of corporate executives who had UNDERGRADUATE degrees in philosophy. If you major in a vague liberal arts field, you need an graduate degree and some solid skills on your resume before you get a job. Nobody is going to hire someone with a BA in philosophy and no work experience or skills.

+1. Shows that stats and quantitative thinking could do much good to liberal arts folks...

Anonymous wrote:e.g. What was your curfew?

What a strange question. You mean what are the rules in your house if your kid comes back home after graduation?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a rule before I graduated: I had to major in something I could be employed in. So I had to minor in philosophy. Best advice I ever got!

Philosophy majors out-earn other humanities majors.

http://www.theatlantic.com/notes/2015/09/philosophy-majors-out-earn-other-humanities/403555/

It always cracks me up whenever someone posts and article claiming that liberal arts majors earn more. All that article did was list a bunch of corporate executives who had UNDERGRADUATE degrees in philosophy. If you major in a vague liberal arts field, you need an graduate degree and some solid skills on your resume before you get a job. Nobody is going to hire someone with a BA in philosophy and no work experience or skills.

OP,


Financial help comes with strings attached only for some twisted individuals.

OP, what rules do your parents have for you?

Anonymous wrote:I had a rule before I graduated: I had to major in something I could be employed in. So I had to minor in philosophy. Best advice I ever got!

Philosophy majors out-earn other humanities majors.

http://www.theatlantic.com/notes/2015/09/philosophy-majors-out-earn-other-humanities/403555/