The request is strange, but I think you should get the Disney card and take your kid to the party. Maybe the parents really need the help and stuck their necks out by putting this out there. Don't punish the kid because of the parents' invitation.

What's the problem? I'd be happy to not have to buy a gift. Write a check? Perfect and thank you!

Some of you are just so mean & nasty. My child has gone to every single birthday party that he's ever been invited to. He always brings a gift with a receipt or a gift card if he isn't sure what to get. I can't believe some of you suggesting to purposely skip the party or buy something other than the gift card (even though it's more effort!) just because you think the invite is tacky. You all think you're better than this family because you'd "never do that!" but here you are, judging away and talking shit about a family you never met.

Highly tacky, but not the kids' fault. If my child wanted to go, I would just go along and give the same amount we would have spent on a gift. Otherwise I would decline.

Maybe they are on scholarship and the mom or dad is ill and they don't want to share that. Whatever the reason, they have made it clear what they want and I would rather give toward something the kid wants than risk getting something the kid doesn't want or having a gift card get lost.

If my child wanted to attend, I would do what I normally do. My child and I would go and pick a gift and I would wrap the gift with the gift receipt in the card. If my child didn't want to attend, we would decline politely.

Often my child knows things about the birthday child like what they like and want to give the child a specific gift (Timmy always has an X lunchbox, so I think he will enjoy the X action figure). If the child or parent really does not want the gift, they can take it and return it with the gift receipt for a refund and put that money towards the Disney trip. But I do not acknowledge tacky requests.

Anonymous wrote:Or just skip the party because punishing her kid and yours for the child's uncouth parents feels right to you. Plus it would save the rest of us here from having to endure your next thread where you bitch about not receiving your well-earned thank you note.

Yes, I suspect there's a strong correlation between pearl-clutching over this request and pearl-clutching over lack of thank you notes.

I also can't get over the number of people using terms like "low class" to describe this request. "Low class," "tacky," "shitshack"--I can't get over the obsessive class-consciousness of this board, the desperation to look down on other people.

Knowing that the family is going on a trip, I might give a gift of items for the plane.

It may be tacky, but I would be happy that it is saving me time and effort. I would just write a check for $20 and be done with it.

Come on I wouldn't punish the child with no gift just because the parent thinks the invite was tacky!

I would not do it because it seems tacky, but OTOH, Id much rather give a memory than a shitty plastic toy made in China.

It would not cause me as much consternation as others.

*11:02. Couching not vouching. Guess my phone learned a new word today!

It would depend upon how close my child was to this other child, or how close we were to the family.

If we were super-close, and they were otherwise kind, I'd look upon it as a personal quirk and think, "This is certainly not for me, but ok, I'll go along with it under the umbrella of friendships. Everyone is different. Who knows.")

However, if we did not know them very well and/or my child was not close to the other child, I'd probably think,"'What the. . . .?!?!?" and, frankly, wouldn't really want my child to go to that party. We might just end up having something else going on that day and send our regrets.

If my child did not know the other child that well but wanted to get to know them better, I'd oblige my child's wishes and hold my nose and buy the stinkin' Disney thing, smh the whole time.

Anonymous wrote:Many petty, judgmental women here. Sure it was tacky but frankly what I find truly objectionable is OP who choose to use this board as a way to gossip. She knew exactly what she felt about the bday invite. She wasn't seeking guidance. She just want to share how overblown sense of indignation and outrage over something minor in hopes of hearing a resounding chorus of "you're right." What a small person.

Um, OP is fine. This a board where many, many people come to vent and to reality-check our initial reactions to things. Are you new around here?

Anonymous wrote:Wait, the child goes to a private school and the family is fishing for financial help for a trip to Disney? Any way you cut this it is beyond rude and tacky. Go to the party, bring a small gift. It's not the birthday child's fault that her parents are idiots.

so, therefore, OP should completely waste money on a gift nobody wants, instead of spend it on something the kid wants?

The protest move here is to get no gift. Not to get a gift that wasn't asked for and essentially poke this family in the eye with your opinion of their behavior as well as waste money.

Tacky tacky tacky. They're basically asking for money. That is tacky. Vouching it in the language of "Disney dreams" does not make it less tacky.

Not sure how not giving the birthday kid a gift card but instead giving another gift is "punishing" the birthday girl. Jeez, talk about being overly dramatic. OP has a right to be annoyed.

OP, in your shoes, depending on your budget, I'd probably give a combo of cash and a small gift. Ex. A pack of Smencils plus a crisp $5.