My overly helpful group secretary who sits right outside my office.

If I so much as move a muscle, sigh, or twitch -- "Can I help with that? Is there anything you need? Anything I can do?"

Ten minutes before every meeting -- "You know you have a meeting with John Jones? It's in ten minutes."

After the meeting "How'd the meeting with John Jones go? Was the conference room okay?"

Anonymous wrote:The co-workers who bypass the bathrooms closest to their offices to go to the one near mine. I know you're trying to poop in secret! Never go in the bathroom right after one of the "visitors". They think they're so sneaky and no one will know they're going in there to poop, but they give themselves away when they purposefully choose to go the bathroom far from their own office.

Maybe their motivation is to get up and walk around, which office workers dream advised to do frequently to avoid the poor health effects of sitting too much. So really everybody should be doing their pooping in distant bathrooms. I make a point of this. It's just a side benefit that you never emerge from a stinky stall to see your boss at the sink.

Anonymous wrote:Pooping. I know thats not a habit but like. Do you HAVE to do it every day at work? And stink up the whole bathroom? I literally know exactly which coworker was in there too.. I know their poop smells.

And yes I'm the OP of the "is it unhealthy sitting next to a bathroom all day" thread

You seem to be very, very interested in poop.

The worst smell to me is burnt popcorn. It makes me hurl; in fact, I don't allow popcorn in the house. I empathize with any pregnant woman and virtually any smell. The smell of cooked meat made me gag when I was pregnant. But what really drives me crazy is chewing. The sound of someone masticating their food is nauseating and kills any appetite that I may have had.

People who whistle in the office.

The co-workers who bypass the bathrooms closest to their offices to go to the one near mine. I know you're trying to poop in secret! Never go in the bathroom right after one of the "visitors". They think they're so sneaky and no one will know they're going in there to poop, but they give themselves away when they purposefully choose to go the bathroom far from their own office.

Anonymous wrote:Who are all these nasty fish eaters? Are they foreign? I can't imagine anyone born and raised in the USA thinking the smell won't bother anyone.

My co-worker who does this is from Taiwan. We meet weekly in my office for a lunch meeting (my office has the amount of space needed for the number of people attending), and she always comes in with her freshly microwaved fish and tells me it's fish and asks me if I mind her eating fish in my office. It's kind of her to "ask" me, but am I really going to tell her that she can't eat her lunch? My office ends up reeking for the rest of the day.

Women who type with long fingernails. So loud.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH used to work with a guy who flossed at his desk. Says he had flecks of food and plaque all over his monitor. So nasty

Ew. Does he pop out his tonsil stones too?

So, sometimes they just sort of come out on their own. And you do some sort of bill the cat routine and try to recover. Hopefully it happens when alone.

This was several years ago, but I used to work for a woman who was on the phone CONSTANTLY baby-talking with her husband (think "Schmoopy" of Seinfeld and you get the idea). She always had her office door open and used speaker phone, which made it damn near impossible to concentrate on anything else. It was a finance job and 90% of my coworkers were guys who had a field day imitating the calls whenever she was off the phone and out of the office. We also had a guy at the company who would take his shoes off as soon as he sat at his desk--which wouldn't have been so bad, except that he had hideous foot odor year-round and sat right near the vent. It was repugnant. I feel bad complaining about that after reading the thread about sitting right next to the bathroom, though.

Anonymous wrote:DH used to work with a guy who flossed at his desk. Says he had flecks of food and plaque all over his monitor. So nasty

Ew. Does he pop out his tonsil stones too?

Anonymous wrote:Folks I work with that annoy me:
1) The guy who emails you and calls you to confirm you got the email. Do one or the other but dont do both.
2) The talker who wont leave your office even though she's been there 20 minutes already. Finally I have to say "I have to go to the ladies room" to get her to leave
3) the woman who thinks everyone is out to get her. How can you be that paranoid? Besides I'm not sure anyone knows who you are.

Wow! We must work in the same office.

Millennial coworker (very junior) who takes a lap around the cubes and offices most days as if she were the boss, telling everyone they are doing great, they are a star, they are amazing, keep up the hard work, etc. She has no idea the quality/quantity of anyone else's work, and no one cares what her opinion of us is.

Executive Assistant who yells over the cubes to staff to ask them to come to her desk. OMG - walk over to them or at least use the phone.

I also work with the loudest chewer in the world. She eats salad, nuts, trail mix, etc. with her mouth open in meetings and it's like she's doing it in a microphone. It is like fingernails on a blackboard!

Anonymous wrote:There's this know-it-all condescending bitch at my law firm who always brings her 5 sons into meetings and says, "It's cool, they're just going to color," but then she's distracted the whole time and just all-around inept.

Ha!