Anonymous wrote:

OP - This woman behaved in a way that was intentional and "a deliberate" put-down of you. Since you do work in the same setting, just decline and no longer have a personal relationship with her outside of necessary work contact. As suggested be professional at work, but do not do lunch or anything else that would give her the idea that you wanted to maintain a friendship. Find some other folks to hang out with who are not treating you and DC in such a crass way.

OP, You have done what many fail to do, garner a DCUM concensus. This lady is a jerk. Be professional, but avoid, avoid, avoid.

Anonymous wrote:Wait a second, your friend doesn't happen to have a 6 year old neighbor who always comes into her yard and bothers her and her daughter?

What is up with adults who want to protect their children from others when they don't "play well together" today? It's not like these are toddlers who are biting each other. Let them develop some important social skills, for goodness sakes.

Amen. My dd has 2 close friends who do not get along. My kid wanted to invite both girls to an outing. Guess what, I let her. And the other girls' mom said yes, all the moms agreeing that the girls would have to learn how to get along for the sake of the b'day girl. Guess what, all 3 had a great time and did not bug the snot out of one another. As adults, we set the tone and expectations. What a jerk.

Anonymous wrote:She's not your friend. This is too weird for words. One thing to stick to "no kids" but to say "no kids but yours?"

I'm a single mom, and I deal with the "no kids" thing just fine. I go and make other arrangements, or decline depending on circumstances. But why are the other coupled women given a pass and special treatment because they have to suck it up and deal with no partner for one event and the person who deals with this crap all the time told "yeah, not your kid"?

Not a nice person.

Seriously, this person is NOT your friend.

Anonymous wrote:I would try another conversation. But I definitely wouldn't hire a babysitter. It's so rude to tell all the other moms they can bring their kids but to tell you uh no don't bring your kid. Even if it was your idea I'm sure you were under the impression that you could bring your daughter. Try talking to her again, if she still says no and is rude about it I think it's time to dump this friend.

+1000000000000000
WHAT THE F***???
My kid has other kids she may not get along with that well, but in a situation like this, I would tell her to suck it up and be nice, unless there was bullying, of course.

OP, it sounds like this friend feels close enough with you to be straightforward and honest. Do her the same courtesy but I wouldn't go on and on about your "single mom" status - I would simply tell her that while it was your idea, you had (1) envisioned that all the kids would be included and you can't attend without bringing your kids or (2) envisioned this would be an "adults only" girls night and don't want to attend with all the moms bringing their children while yours are at home without you.

Pick either 1 or 2 - whichever is the truth.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your friend is a BITCH. I would not associate with her, ever. If it's an adult only setting - fine. If other kids are there, she is completely unreasonable unless your kids have violence issues or something.

In the future I would suggest when you plan MNO you pick the venue (your home or a neutral place) and that you not invite this diva.

Agreed. I wonder if her daughters learned their mean girl behavior from their mom

+1. Of course OP's daughter wants to be part of what the older girls are doing. It's incredibly rude of OP's friend not to set some rules on how her daughters behave when they have guests. Not to mention how rude it was of her to invite other kids but not OP's.

OP, regardless of how you handle this situation, I would pull back from her and try to have a work only relationship.

I'm a single mom and I would do the same thing as you OP.