So many things!

Smoked cigs with windows up on long car trips.

Doled out prescription meds to siblings with similar symptoms. No need to revisit doctor or get diagnosis, not when we had a medicine cabinet full of rx meds.

Took an annual vacation across the country, solo and left me home with abusive, alcoholic parent who'd use this time to go on a bender.

Alcoholic parent would drive me to and from activities totally wasted. Other parent knew and was grateful for "the help."

Starting when I was three, they would just take off to go do errands/dinner/etc and leave me home alone. They never told me they were leaving, just disappeared and told me not to leave my room.

They used to have massive blowout screaming matches every few weeks--the end result being that my father would stop speaking to the family--sometimes for weeks until the next massive blowout.

Left me with my grandmother the entire summer when I was in ES--grandma not abusive, but, a thief. Every summer parents gave me spending $ for summer, grandma would take it to keep it safe and when I wanted to use the $, she'd claim I lost it. Bill collectors called and came to her house all day long.

Father repeatedly told me, he didn't want me (had kids from other marriages--who he never spoke to). When I was born, mom went to hospital alone, he never went or took time off work or told anyone his wife had a baby.

And a thousand other messed up things.

They were also physically abusive.

Sadly, they think they were great parents--it wasn't until I had my own kids that I fully realized how screwed up my family was.

Anonymous wrote:Op back again. The thing is, I didn't realize how terrible my parents were until I had my own child and was in therapy for postpartum depression and anxiety. I just accepted what my parents did as normal, partially because my best friend at the time was also regularly beaten by her mother and frequently locked in the bathroom as punishment.

Anyway, in response to a pp, my DH knows about some of these things but nomenof mu friends do. My sisters have different memories just because they were younger-I got the worst of it because I am the oldest. I'm in therapy which has helped.

One thing that has stuck with me is that my parents routinely made/make me feel like I don't matter. So it's hard to deal with when my own kids matter more to me than anything else in the world. It's hard for me to like my parents because I don't think they are good human beings.

You don't have to like them just because they're your parents. Really, you don't.

My dad would bring a six pack or a thermos of martinis for any drive over an hour. And give my younger sister martini soaked olives to eat (she became an alcoholic). He would also let a bunch of us sit on top of the station wagon while he drove around town. I can remember hanging off the roof rack over the back by our knees

Anonymous wrote:I have never owned a wooden spoon and never really thought about it til reading this thread!!

They're very useful in cooking, and occasionally for behavior modification.

Mid teens and mom let me date guy in his 20s. WTF mom???

Anonymous wrote:I have never owned a wooden spoon and never really thought about it til reading this thread!!

PP here (meaning that I also got the wooden spoon spankings and dreaded them.)

I have never owned a wooden spoon and never really thought about it til reading this thread!!

I forget where I read it, but I read that back in the day, like pioneering times - they used to just tie toddlers to a post outside while the parents went to work out in the fields. Point being, we've come a long way.

Anonymous wrote:My dad used to threaten to make us walk home when we were fighting in the car. Once, he actually stopped the car, kicked us out and drove away. This was on the side of a highway. He did come back to get us, but still. I was probably 8-9 and my siblings were 7ish and 4ish

can't imagine leaving a 4 year old on the side of the highway. Not that 8 is much better.

Anonymous wrote:^^^ the stuff above is awful. My parents were nudists but I don't see that as a bad thing. I definitely got the wooden spoon more so than my brother. My mom would wash my mouth out with Irish Spring soap.

Sleeping in the back of a station wagon during road trips? Not awful at all.

My dad used to threaten to make us walk home when we were fighting in the car. Once, he actually stopped the car, kicked us out and drove away. This was on the side of a highway. He did come back to get us, but still. I was probably 8-9 and my siblings were 7ish and 4ish

Another 70s kid here - I can't believe there are so many of us who had the wooden spoon and hair brush spankings. I have never and would never spank my child!

From about 4th grade on, I made my own dinner about 80% of the time. My sah mom didn't like to cook and if it was just the two of us (dad taught night classes some nights and traveled occasionally for work) she would make herself a snack whenever and I'd make myself toast when I got hungry then have a bowl of cereal before bed. My dad cooked for pleasure/relaxation, so some nights we'd have really good meals.

Lots of free range time. We were in a neighborhood that was just being built and we played in the holes dug for basements. I kind of remember being told not to do this (maybe once) but we all did it. No one ever came to check on us.

Anonymous wrote:Well, my birth father told my birth mother that my twin sister and I had died during delivery and took us to the adoption agency instead. That's some pretty crazy shit!

In terms of non-abusive stuff, my adoptive parents moved us to a very small country in the Middle East that no one in the 1970s had ever heard of- Kuwait. We lived there for a good portion of our childhood and had a wonderful experience. When I think of how my parents packed up with 3 year olds to move around the world- that's crazy stuff too!

Well, my birth father told my birth mother that my twin sister and I had died during delivery and took us to the adoption agency instead. That's some pretty crazy shit!

In terms of non-abusive stuff, my adoptive parents moved us to a very small country in the Middle East that no one in the 1970s had ever heard of- Kuwait. We lived there for a good portion of our childhood and had a wonderful experience. When I think of how my parents packed up with 3 year olds to move around the world- that's crazy stuff too!