Anonymous wrote:They only let you put one back at a time and the first one didn't stick. We didn't choose but I thought this time may be worth a pick, that's why I ask.

PP here. I'll go ahead and quote the OP before one of the reading comprehension-challenged other PPs claims I made the info up.

Since when is a failed transfer "hitting the jackpot"?

Most clinics just transfer the first one on the list. I can why OP posed the question, after all, if you have spent so much time and money during infertility treatments, why not make the decision since the information is there?
OP, you said that one didn't "stick" what did you pick that time? Are you unsure of the decision and that's why you ask? What does your DH want?
If it was me and I was only going to have one child, then I might lean towards a boy, but I am pretty traditional. I also have several nieces and nephews and in my experience little girls are so cute to dress and fun to play with until they hit about 10 yo. I think my nephews have been easier kids in general, but by far higher energy.
Just my 2 cents.

I would ask the clinic to pick the best looking embryo and transfer that.

Could you do one of each?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the whole gender selection thing is distasteful, but I can see why the 0P ask the question. I'm assuming she just wanted to hear some thoughts about how other people would make the decision, not that she's committing to choosing whatever we say we would choose. That doesn't seem so ridiculous to me. FWIW.

That's not what she asked. She didn't ask about the thought process. She flat out asked which gender she should pick.

You're giving her too much credit.

Actually, OP asked us what we would do. If it were me, OP, I would let my DH decide. We have never talked about it, because really any baby would be great, but I sense that he would love a girl. I would be happy to be a mom.

I knew this was going to be good by the number of question marks in the header.

And also the usage of "gender" instead of "sex," although surprisingly this discussion doesn't seem to have gone there, yet...

Anonymous wrote:I think the whole gender selection thing is distasteful, but I can see why the 0P ask the question. I'm assuming she just wanted to hear some thoughts about how other people would make the decision, not that she's committing to choosing whatever we say we would choose. That doesn't seem so ridiculous to me. FWIW.

That's not what she asked. She didn't ask about the thought process. She flat out asked which gender she should pick.

You're giving her too much credit.

Girl

I suspect if you used one of the major egg or sperm banks, the donor eggs or donor sperm have already been tested for "relevant communicable disease agents and diseases."

Can you not put 2 in? (one of each) Sorry I am not familiar with IVF!

Anonymous wrote:PP: i'm not the OP, but I'm interested in your comments above. I didn't realize some places won't facilitate donation of embryos created from donors. Are they concerned about the legality? I have definitely seen on one of the websites (Miracles Waiting, maybe?) embryos created from donor gametes.

It has to do with screening of the providers of the egg and sperm.

A quick Google pulled this up (along with the fact that such donations is banned in Australia) but I can't vouch for its veracity:

Before donated cryopreserved embryos created after May 25, 2005 can be transferred to the recipient, federal law now requires that, if possible, an eligibility determination be made regarding the providers of the egg and sperm used to make the embryos. If the embryos have not been frozen (as occasionally occurs when patients undergoing IVF donate remaining embryos to another couple during their fresh cycle, rather than cryopreserving them), a donor eligibility determination is mandatory. [Human Cells, Tissues, and Cellular and Tissue-Based Products (HCT/Ps); Donor Screening and Testing, and Related Labeling; Interim Final Rule]. The donor eligibility determination process focuses on screening and testing for "relevant communicable disease agents and diseases" (i.e., those which can be transmitted through use of a particular type of HCT/P).

I think the whole gender selection thing is distasteful, but I can see why the 0P ask the question. I'm assuming she just wanted to hear some thoughts about how other people would make the decision, not that she's committing to choosing whatever we say we would choose. That doesn't seem so ridiculous to me. FWIW.

PP: i'm not the OP, but I'm interested in your comments above. I didn't realize some places won't facilitate donation of embryos created from donors. Are they concerned about the legality? I have definitely seen on one of the websites (Miracles Waiting, maybe?) embryos created from donor gametes.

Anonymous wrote:^ you're right. So much better to destroy them...geeze.

What I meant was not all places will facilitate donation of embryos created with donors.