I was actually kind of the opposite. I grew up Catholic, but more cultural Catholic. Went to church on Easter, XMas, a handful of other times throughout the year, did CCD and got the sacraments, but I was never raised with Catholicism being a big component of my family life or anything like that.

Then I went to a Catholic college (not because of the Catholicism, mostly just because I liked the campus and they had the program I wanted...religion wasn't a factor at all) where I had to take two theology classes to graduate and it really exposed me to religion in a way I hadn't thought about before and I came out with a pretty strong faith and understanding of the Church.

To the OP:

My heart goes out to you. I left the Catholic church right before college and came back when I was about 30 of my own will. I think it's an age when you are very self absorbed and a lot of other noise going on. I wouldn't beat yourself up over it, you give your kids the foundation you want and they have to choose to follow it or not. Hopefully, they will return one day - like others said sometimes when they have children things seem to click. I think the best thing you can do at this point is continue to show them love and support, always offer church option and pray for them.

Anonymous wrote:if you have a parent who ends up impoverished but still attending a Catholic Church regularly - but not as some manner of dues paying member - you may find (as I did) that the church they attended and gave their time to will refuse to hold a funeral service for them. And will refuse to allow any priest of the church to hold a funeral service for them in any other place - such as hospital chapel - because it's not Catholic hallowed ground. As Fleetwood Mac said - "been down one time, been down two times -- never going back again."

When my uncle was dying, my aunt got a call from the pastor to see why they hadn't been at mass for a few months. My aunt explained that things were not good and it wasn't possible for them to get to mass. The pastor didn't offer to bring communion or anointing of the sick but instead said "When you know you can still mail your offering envelope." It took him several months for to realize that dedicated parishioners were MIA and then as more concerned about their money.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And, I am not Catholic, so explain to me--if you can go and confess sins at any time, why is not going to Mass such a big deal? Couldn't they not go to Mass and go in and confess the sin of not going and get it cleared somehow?

It's only a big deal if the person missing mass does not get to confession and communion soon after commiting the sin. This, unfortunately, is the case with catholics who drop out during college. If they eventually return to the faith -- meaning confessing their sins and going to mass regularly again - then they're OK.

But if they die in the interim (unlikely in the case of young people), they will go to hell because they have mortal sins on their soul for which they have not been forgiven.

If you skip mass one week & get hit by a bus & die before going to confession, you go to hell.

If you brutally murder 100s of people but go to confession & receive communion afterwards, you go to heaven.

Sounds fair.

What's fair about the Catholic church is that it teaches you what the rules are and then expects you to follow them. All catholics have also been taught what the punishments for not following the rule are. YOu can't receive the sacraments of communion and confirmation without specific instuction.

You realize that most people are 7 or 8 when they make their First Communion & 13 or 14 when they get confirmed, right? In most cases, they receive these sacrements because their parents expect them to, not because they themselves have carefully considered all the tenants of the Catholic faith & made the decision to vow to abide by them.Heck, by the time I made my Confirmation, I knew I disagreed with some of the church's teachings. I made my Confirmation anyway because that's what was expected of me. I was a 13-year-old child with little to no choice in the matter, just like many of many friends.

Exactly. A large number of people-- maybe even a majority-- wouldn't be part of any religion if it weren't for childhood indoctrination.

When - hopefully in the near future -- a majority of children are not indoctrinated, it will be interesting to see how many people naturally gravitate to religion as adults.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And, I am not Catholic, so explain to me--if you can go and confess sins at any time, why is not going to Mass such a big deal? Couldn't they not go to Mass and go in and confess the sin of not going and get it cleared somehow?

It's only a big deal if the person missing mass does not get to confession and communion soon after commiting the sin. This, unfortunately, is the case with catholics who drop out during college. If they eventually return to the faith -- meaning confessing their sins and going to mass regularly again - then they're OK.

But if they die in the interim (unlikely in the case of young people), they will go to hell because they have mortal sins on their soul for which they have not been forgiven.

If you skip mass one week & get hit by a bus & die before going to confession, you go to hell.

If you brutally murder 100s of people but go to confession & receive communion afterwards, you go to heaven.

Sounds fair.

What's fair about the Catholic church is that it teaches you what the rules are and then expects you to follow them. All catholics have also been taught what the punishments for not following the rule are. YOu can't receive the sacraments of communion and confirmation without specific instuction.

You realize that most people are 7 or 8 when they make their First Communion & 13 or 14 when they get confirmed, right? In most cases, they receive these sacrements because their parents expect them to, not because they themselves have carefully considered all the tenants of the Catholic faith & made the decision to vow to abide by them.Heck, by the time I made my Confirmation, I knew I disagreed with some of the church's teachings. I made my Confirmation anyway because that's what was expected of me. I was a 13-year-old child with little to no choice in the matter, just like many of many friends.

Exactly. A large number of people-- maybe even a majority-- wouldn't be part of any religion if it weren't for childhood indoctrination.

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yep, she's hittin the Jesus juice pretty hard now. We are Christians but don't regularly attend church, if it matters.

You can do what you want. If you are Catholic, you know what the punishment is if you die with mortal sins on your soul.

Perhaps this is a large part of OP's concern -- not jsut that her kids don't have a "faith life" but that they are in danger of going to hell.

They, like most people in this world, are probably in more danger of getting in a car accident or getting cancer than of "going to hell" simply for not attending church. Sheesh.

Such a mindset is one of the many reasons I don't go to church. God has bigger fish to literally fry.