Anonymous wrote:I'm not sexually attracted to non-income earning men.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All these women who's DH far out earn them. Did you scale back your career early on in anticipation of kids? You say it doesn't make sense b/c your DH far out earns you, but is it possible you were stacking the deck?

Or they are unemployable

LOL, no. What a lame conspiracy theory. I was in my career for over 12 years, advancing regularly, but the fact is that my field is simply not as remunerative as his. You do realize that some fields pay more than others, right?

"Stacking the deck" and "scal[ing] back your career early on in anticipation of kids" - now I've heard it all. Yeah...I conspired against myself to make less money during my single years just so that if I ever got married and had kids, I could be making less money than the guy I married and have an excuse to stay home and polish my nails all day. You need help, PP.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: I think men do not want to be SAHDs either. Male identity is very connected to their work, and they still want to be the husband and not the wife in the relationship.

I find it quite pathetic for both men and women. Is this an American thing? Americans are notoriously married to their careers. I wonder if any of you on your death bed will sincerely regret not spending more time at the office

Anonymous wrote: I think men do not want to be SAHDs either. Male identity is very connected to their work, and they still want to be the husband and not the wife in the relationship.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find it amusing that for many posters here this seems to be true.

SAHMs = the most important job in the world, harder than being in an office

SAHDs = unemployed and in between jobs (and this seems to be the case even for the breadwinner moms who enjoy having their DHs on the home front).

Not always. Some men can afford early retirement or bring income other than salary. Families come in all shapes and sizes, and it makes me wonder how a bunch of seemingly educated and accomplished people can have such limited views of the world around them.

Anonymous wrote:I find it amusing that for many posters here this seems to be true.

SAHMs = the most important job in the world, harder than being in an office

SAHDs = unemployed and in between jobs (and this seems to be the case even for the breadwinner moms who enjoy having their DHs on the home front).

Anonymous wrote:

1. Practically, women end up doing the fine details of domestic work even with a SAHD. Thank-you notes, school projects, PTA fundraisers, clothes shopping, b-day party planning. Men have a lower threshold of what it means to get things done right.

This would be 100% my concern. If my DH was a true SAH parent, i.e. maintained the house; handled cooking/food; on top of all logistics of kid's doctors, school, activities; handled all events/holidays, ect.,* I would LOVE the set up. What I would anticipate though, would that I would still have a brutal second shift, even if by SAHing, he kept the kids alive till the end of the day. That would be a no-go for me. Basically, if he treated SAH like a job and gave it his all, I would be two thumbs up - even with the financial hit.

*Expectations may differ if e.g. there are 2 kids under 3, special needs, etc.

1. Practically, women end up doing the fine details of domestic work even with a SAHD. Thank-you notes, school projects, PTA fundraisers, clothes shopping, b-day party planning. Men have a lower threshold of what it means to get things done right.

Anonymous wrote:I find it amusing that for many posters here this seems to be true.

SAHMs = the most important job in the world, harder than being in an office

SAHDs = unemployed and in between jobs (and this seems to be the case even for the breadwinner moms who enjoy having their DHs on the home front).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All these women who's DH far out earn them. Did you scale back your career early on in anticipation of kids? You say it doesn't make sense b/c your DH far out earns you, but is it possible you were stacking the deck?

Or they are unemployable

LOL, no. What a lame conspiracy theory. I was in my career for over 12 years, advancing regularly, but the fact is that my field is simply not as remunerative as his. You do realize that some fields pay more than others, right?

"Stacking the deck" and "scal[ing] back your career early on in anticipation of kids" - now I've heard it all. Yeah...I conspired against myself to make less money during my single years just so that if I ever got married and had kids, I could be making less money than the guy I married and have an excuse to stay home and polish my nails all day. You need help, PP.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's pretty sad that so many posters have such a narrow view of how men can be providers for their families or wouldn't respect their DHs if they SAH. To me, being a provider means a man does what needs to be done for his family - period. For one family, that might mean he works. In another family, it may mean he takes care of the kids and the house. How can you really say that a man who recognizes what needs to be done for his family and does it regardless of what society says he "should" do is not worthy of respect? And the hypocrisy some women show is astounding. We don't want to be relegated to certain roles because of our gender, yet many of you seem to view men that way.

It's not sad. It's biology accross all cultures for all of history.

It's not attractive. You can be PC all you want and run around slathered in your pachouli singing kumbaya with your lady boys, but it doesn't change a thing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's pretty sad that so many posters have such a narrow view of how men can be providers for their families or wouldn't respect their DHs if they SAH. To me, being a provider means a man does what needs to be done for his family - period. For one family, that might mean he works. In another family, it may mean he takes care of the kids and the house. How can you really say that a man who recognizes what needs to be done for his family and does it regardless of what society says he "should" do is not worthy of respect? And the hypocrisy some women show is astounding. We don't want to be relegated to certain roles because of our gender, yet many of you seem to view men that way.

It's not sad. It's biology accross all cultures for all of history.

It's not attractive. You can be PC all you want and run around slathered in your pachouli singing kumbaya with your lady boys, but it doesn't change a thing.