Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you telework some, or reduce your hours slightly? I work 35 hours a week and telework one day a week, and it really helps.

I telework about 90% but it doesn't help with the errands I just can't get done. For example, I've been sick on and off for two weeks but DC was too and got the doctor visit. I haven't been able to squeeze one in for me.

I can't reduce my hours.

This is your problem. Put your kid in day care. He'll be fine. Go into work and get some rest.

The kid should be in full-time care, regardless of whether OP teleworks. The argument should be that teleworking is actually more relaxing, since it spares her a commute.

This. Are you trying to work without childcare? Or only childcare for the exact number of hours you are on the computer working?

OP, like a lot of people, I'd like more details: do you have a partner? child care? is money super tight so you can't outsource more?

ding ding ding. this is the only explanation where this setup is very stressful. OP denies it, but who would admit it?

DC is in daycare full time (I don't know where the assumptions I'm working and providing childcare at the same time comes from) nd DH is things are better when he's home.

I do not want another child. Clearly I can't handle my life right now.

At least 4 people have asked this and there is not an answer.

Where is the father of the child?

Anonymous wrote:Something isn't right with this situation. OP, if you are a single parent, then I can see feeling overwhelmed. Lord knows, it's tough.

However, if you have a partner, then teleworking 90% of the time and having a bi-weekly cleaning service should really make things so much easier. Plus, you do only have the one kid. One kid who presumably has a bedtime and an 'at-home' routine that you and your partner juggle equally.

What aren't you telling us?

Are you teleworking but have no nanny or au pair or sitter at home? That's not teleworking (working and watching your baby/toddler at the same time) and you are setting yourself up for a very tough day.

So, it takes 4 pages to learn that OPs child is not in daycare. Waste of time reading this post. OP, you cannot work and provide childcare at the same time. Sign up your kid to a daycare, where he or she will be also having more entertainment and learning opportunities, while you can work properly. And do the errands while your husband is taking care of the child. Or better split all those errands with your husband/partner.
We outsource weekly cleaning and do takeaways mostly for dinners. These minimize the down time and allow you to spend quality time with your loved ones. I understand that these are financial burdens but I rather cut on say clothes or expensive vacations and have this regularity in my life.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you telework some, or reduce your hours slightly? I work 35 hours a week and telework one day a week, and it really helps.

I telework about 90% but it doesn't help with the errands I just can't get done. For example, I've been sick on and off for two weeks but DC was too and got the doctor visit. I haven't been able to squeeze one in for me.

I can't reduce my hours.

This is your problem. Put your kid in day care. He'll be fine. Go into work and get some rest.

The kid should be in full-time care, regardless of whether OP teleworks. The argument should be that teleworking is actually more relaxing, since it spares her a commute.

This. Are you trying to work without childcare? Or only childcare for the exact number of hours you are on the computer working?

OP, like a lot of people, I'd like more details: do you have a partner? child care? is money super tight so you can't outsource more?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you telework some, or reduce your hours slightly? I work 35 hours a week and telework one day a week, and it really helps.

I telework about 90% but it doesn't help with the errands I just can't get done. For example, I've been sick on and off for two weeks but DC was too and got the doctor visit. I haven't been able to squeeze one in for me.

I can't reduce my hours.

This is your problem. Put your kid in day care. He'll be fine. Go into work and get some rest.

The kid should be in full-time care, regardless of whether OP teleworks. The argument should be that teleworking is actually more relaxing, since it spares her a commute.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you telework some, or reduce your hours slightly? I work 35 hours a week and telework one day a week, and it really helps.

I telework about 90% but it doesn't help with the errands I just can't get done. For example, I've been sick on and off for two weeks but DC was too and got the doctor visit. I haven't been able to squeeze one in for me.

I can't reduce my hours.

This is your problem. Put your kid in day care. He'll be fine. Go into work and get some rest.

I am sorry OP. I have to echo other posters, what is your partner doing?

Also have you talked to your doctor? Sometimes depression can present itself in a feeling of being overwhelmed.

Just sending you support! Life can be hard with a toddler even with the most ideal situation. Good luck!

Hi OP. I haven't read through all the posts, but I just wanted to say that I, an internet stranger, support you! You are doing an amazing job! You created and are sustaining a life. As a fellow working FTM, I salute you and know you can do it! It is tough when you are sick and feeling down physically, which is topped off by all the craziness that life brings. Give yourself some credit and some slack - you are a warrior! Don't quit. Don't stop. Keep on moving, girl! You can do it!

Your mom is not supportive. Neither is my mom. I am sooo jealous of other more functional mother-daughter relationships in my social circle. However, I have to remind myself that I am just never going to get that with my mom and that I have to "mother" myself sometimes. Can you talk to your DH about how you are feeling, not to nag to him, but just to get it out.

Well, again, I just wanted to say you are doing great! I know you are - because you are a mama bear!!

Something isn't right with this situation. OP, if you are a single parent, then I can see feeling overwhelmed. Lord knows, it's tough.

However, if you have a partner, then teleworking 90% of the time and having a bi-weekly cleaning service should really make things so much easier. Plus, you do only have the one kid. One kid who presumably has a bedtime and an 'at-home' routine that you and your partner juggle equally.

What aren't you telling us?

It's up to you to figure out your work/life balance. What works for one person will not necessarily so great for another person.

You aren't a wimp or incompetent, you just need to figure out what you need to do to make this all doable - for YOU and your family.

The truth is you're just in a hard phase right now and have to power through. Since you don't want to be a SAHM, the only way out is through. Grit your teeth, put your head down, and just do it. BTDT believe me. As your child gets older, it'll get progressively easier. The change will be so slow that you won't really notice until the frustration is entirely gone. And then you'll be like, hey my life isn't so miserable anymore! lol. And don't make the mistake so many of us make of having another baby! That'll make things 100% worse believe me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Funny, my mom calls to complain I am not working. (of course, she forgets to mention that she'll rarely help out so it makes it impossible for me to work).

No matter what you do or choose, it will never be good enough for her. Accept it and move on. If working makes you happy, continue. You being happy will make you a far better mom. My mom never could have stayed at home. We all would have been in the looney bin.

No, I get that. The problem is that I'm completely underwater and I wouldn't be if I wasn't working.

I wanted to scream today. Everyone always says "Call someone if things get out of hand," and I got no support.

Yeah people say this all the time and for the most part, I don't think they really mean it. It's kind of like when someone asks how your day was and you know you're supposed to say something upbeat and positive. No one wants to hear the truth if it's negative.

Sorry OP. I think you're in a Fake it Till You Make it type situation.