Anonymous
Post 03/11/2016 14:15     Subject: Re:I was "ghosted" by my boyfriend of almost a year....
This happened to a friend of mine in a long distance relationship of about 8 months. He was supposed to come visit and dropped off the face of the earth. two months later he married his other girlfriend, whom he had been dating for two years.
Anonymous
Post 03/10/2016 11:49     Subject: I was "ghosted" by my boyfriend of almost a year....
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Hey OP, I also got ghosted on recently by a guy I dated for 7 months. He dumped on Valentine's Day via text. No real reason except "I'm going through some stuff."

Absolutely no contact for two weeks, then a couple of I miss you's. Nothing else. Very sad and hurtful.


Can't believe I'm saying this cause it makes me feel so old, but is this a generational thing? I'm 45 and can't imagine this sort of thing.


He's 43 and I'm 40. So I don't think so.

Not PP but my goodness this makes it so much worse to me! No excuses for him. You dodged more than just a bullet OP, you dodged a hail of semi-automatic gunfire! Seriously, don't even look back on this one.


I miss him anyway. He had a lot of issues actually but I tried hard to make it work. Now I'm just accepting he's not coming back....

I understand but next time don't try so hard to make something work. I'm. It being flippant and it sounds counterintuitive but it's true. If you have to work *that* hard to make something work with a fully grown man and its only been a year then that means it's not right for you.


This is very true. My former boyfriend used to make me so mad to the point where I quite literally smacked him (didn't hurt him, but still) - I had never smacked anyone, screamed at him (I will not get into it all but trust me he was something). I disliked who *I* was becoming with him and I really started to dislike who he was. Some of the stuff that he did was beyond ridiculous. Yes, we had some good times the first couple of years but after that I stayed with him ??? I don't know why.

Long story short I broke up with that guy. And I mean cut off all contact, once and for all. Done. Best thing that I ever did for myself. I dated other guys and had fun. And then my now dh and I got serious - over 25 years later and I have not smacked or screamed at him once. In fact, we really do not disagree that much and we almost always come to a quick and easy agreement on the big things. Being together has not been hard work, it's been the most natural thing in the world.

Looking back, that first boyfriend wasn't a horrible person we were just incompatible with very different goals in life. Hopefully someone else appreciates him more than I did, lol. Op, if you two were having a rough patch not even a year in...that simply did not bode well. I hope you find someone who isn't so much work.



Thanks for the kind words. It helps.
Anonymous
Post 03/10/2016 08:38     Subject: I was "ghosted" by my boyfriend of almost a year....
PP did you have some Brazilian nuts when you were on vacation
Anonymous
Post 03/10/2016 07:29     Subject: I was "ghosted" by my boyfriend of almost a year....
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:He didn't change his number, he blocked your number.


Op here- no, he changed it. I tried calling him from a friends number who he doesn't know and it was the same message.


Maybe the married woman's husband caught up with him.
Stop pining for this fool!
Anonymous
Post 03/10/2016 07:23     Subject: I was "ghosted" by my boyfriend of almost a year....
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Hey OP, I also got ghosted on recently by a guy I dated for 7 months. He dumped on Valentine's Day via text. No real reason except "I'm going through some stuff."

Absolutely no contact for two weeks, then a couple of I miss you's. Nothing else. Very sad and hurtful.


Can't believe I'm saying this cause it makes me feel so old, but is this a generational thing? I'm 45 and can't imagine this sort of thing.


He's 43 and I'm 40. So I don't think so.

Not PP but my goodness this makes it so much worse to me! No excuses for him. You dodged more than just a bullet OP, you dodged a hail of semi-automatic gunfire! Seriously, don't even look back on this one.


I miss him anyway. He had a lot of issues actually but I tried hard to make it work. Now I'm just accepting he's not coming back....


Okay, well, this is good for you. He is doing you a favor here - you are not a match but you are still gaga over him.
Years from now you will look back on this and be horrified by your behavior. Not his behavior but yours - in desiring a guy who is so wrong for you.
Anonymous
Post 03/10/2016 01:53     Subject: I was "ghosted" by my boyfriend of almost a year....
I know this must hurt like the dickens now OP, but if this guy doesn't have the balls on him to break up with you directly, then he did you a huge favor by disappearing.

Sadly this will most likely make better sense in hindsight.

For now, focus on all the positive things in your life now! Exclude ALL toxic people and situations in your life and tell yourself that you are a very strong person and will get over him.

And remember that karma never forgets a face.
He will get his. Tenfold.

And you will already have forgotten him by then!!
Anonymous
Post 03/10/2016 01:18     Subject: I was "ghosted" by my boyfriend of almost a year....
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Did he happen to mention going hunting for bobcats?




I remember that post!


Yes! I totally thought this was a follow up.
Anonymous
Post 03/09/2016 23:41     Subject: I was "ghosted" by my boyfriend of almost a year....
Anonymous wrote:Maybe that married woman that he was talking to was his wife...

You are better off without him Op. Go out and have fun this weekend.


Op here- no because I saw her Facebook and she had her husband tagged on her page as married.

But definitely going out this weekend with my friends!
Anonymous
Post 03/09/2016 19:56     Subject: I was "ghosted" by my boyfriend of almost a year....
I was ghosted by a guy I lived with in college. We lived in a group house. I came home one day and he'd moved out without a word. Our other roommate eventually admitted that my BF had had a girlfriend living overseas (year abroad) for the entire time we were dating and living together. When she came back to school for the start of the next fall term, he moved out from our place and in with her. He never told either of us about the other.

He did contact me a couple months later begging me to take him back, said he'd made a terrible mistake, etc. I told him to take a hike. Never regretted it.

You dodged a bullet, OP.
Anonymous
Post 03/09/2016 19:47     Subject: I was "ghosted" by my boyfriend of almost a year....
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm so sorry OP. No one deserves this. Chalk it up to his dysfuctinal upbringing and recognize it has nothing to do with you. Do not seek revenge or confrontation bc that will not give you any real fulfillment. Seek out your family and good friends for support and move on. You'll find love again. Hugs to you.


+1 Your best revenge is moving forward and eventually finding a healthy partner. The way he behaved reflects deep dysfunction.
As painful as this is, he did you a huge favor and you will really feel that someday, I promise.


This is everything. Stop reading. This is it!
Anonymous
Post 03/09/2016 19:43     Subject: I was "ghosted" by my boyfriend of almost a year....
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Hey OP, I also got ghosted on recently by a guy I dated for 7 months. He dumped on Valentine's Day via text. No real reason except "I'm going through some stuff."

Absolutely no contact for two weeks, then a couple of I miss you's. Nothing else. Very sad and hurtful.


Can't believe I'm saying this cause it makes me feel so old, but is this a generational thing? I'm 45 and can't imagine this sort of thing.


He's 43 and I'm 40. So I don't think so.

Not PP but my goodness this makes it so much worse to me! No excuses for him. You dodged more than just a bullet OP, you dodged a hail of semi-automatic gunfire! Seriously, don't even look back on this one.


I miss him anyway. He had a lot of issues actually but I tried hard to make it work. Now I'm just accepting he's not coming back....

I understand but next time don't try so hard to make something work. I'm. It being flippant and it sounds counterintuitive but it's true. If you have to work *that* hard to make something work with a fully grown man and its only been a year then that means it's not right for you.


This is very true. My former boyfriend used to make me so mad to the point where I quite literally smacked him (didn't hurt him, but still) - I had never smacked anyone, screamed at him (I will not get into it all but trust me he was something). I disliked who *I* was becoming with him and I really started to dislike who he was. Some of the stuff that he did was beyond ridiculous. Yes, we had some good times the first couple of years but after that I stayed with him ??? I don't know why.

Long story short I broke up with that guy. And I mean cut off all contact, once and for all. Done. Best thing that I ever did for myself. I dated other guys and had fun. And then my now dh and I got serious - over 25 years later and I have not smacked or screamed at him once. In fact, we really do not disagree that much and we almost always come to a quick and easy agreement on the big things. Being together has not been hard work, it's been the most natural thing in the world.

Looking back, that first boyfriend wasn't a horrible person we were just incompatible with very different goals in life. Hopefully someone else appreciates him more than I did, lol. Op, if you two were having a rough patch not even a year in...that simply did not bode well. I hope you find someone who isn't so much work.
Anonymous
Post 03/09/2016 19:22     Subject: I was "ghosted" by my boyfriend of almost a year....
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Hey OP, I also got ghosted on recently by a guy I dated for 7 months. He dumped on Valentine's Day via text. No real reason except "I'm going through some stuff."

Absolutely no contact for two weeks, then a couple of I miss you's. Nothing else. Very sad and hurtful.


Can't believe I'm saying this cause it makes me feel so old, but is this a generational thing? I'm 45 and can't imagine this sort of thing.


He's 43 and I'm 40. So I don't think so.

Not PP but my goodness this makes it so much worse to me! No excuses for him. You dodged more than just a bullet OP, you dodged a hail of semi-automatic gunfire! Seriously, don't even look back on this one.


I miss him anyway. He had a lot of issues actually but I tried hard to make it work. Now I'm just accepting he's not coming back....

I understand but next time don't try so hard to make something work. I'm. It being flippant and it sounds counterintuitive but it's true. If you have to work *that* hard to make something work with a fully grown man and its only been a year then that means it's not right for you.
Anonymous
Post 03/09/2016 17:07     Subject: I was "ghosted" by my boyfriend of almost a year....
Maybe that married woman that he was talking to was his wife...

You are better off without him Op. Go out and have fun this weekend.
Anonymous
Post 03/09/2016 16:44     Subject: I was "ghosted" by my boyfriend of almost a year....
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Hey OP, I also got ghosted on recently by a guy I dated for 7 months. He dumped on Valentine's Day via text. No real reason except "I'm going through some stuff."

Absolutely no contact for two weeks, then a couple of I miss you's. Nothing else. Very sad and hurtful.


Can't believe I'm saying this cause it makes me feel so old, but is this a generational thing? I'm 45 and can't imagine this sort of thing.


He's 43 and I'm 40. So I don't think so.

Not PP but my goodness this makes it so much worse to me! No excuses for him. You dodged more than just a bullet OP, you dodged a hail of semi-automatic gunfire! Seriously, don't even look back on this one.


I miss him anyway. He had a lot of issues actually but I tried hard to make it work. Now I'm just accepting he's not coming back....
Anonymous
Post 03/09/2016 14:35     Subject: I was "ghosted" by my boyfriend of almost a year....
^Keep an eye on bank/checking accts too. Look through your check book to make sure that all the checks are still there.