Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You could have said, "Are you looking for something?"

After the fact, I thought I could have asked something like this.. but because I was so shocked and unsure of what to do/say, I just quickly walked out. I know she saw me and am pretty sure she knows I caught her.. just so awkward and I am at a loss of what her purpose was.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - thanks for all the input. FWIW, I would not say we are "close". My husband and I have children, and ever since our first was born, it was crystal clear to me that I was perceived as her competition and (shame on her), she liked to put my husband in a spot of choosing. The list is long, but this is confirmed by other family members as well. She knows how to put a face on and be friendly and loving towards me, but she also knows exactly how to create issues for my DH and I. I think she just wants to pressure him to still choose her, its pretty weird. But this is the first time I've "caught" her snooping. Part of me wonders if she was just being nosy and wants to see what her favorite little boy's wife is up to.. I'm leaning towards staging a purse for her.. it will be fun

Yes, if you have to deal with that crap sandwich, you might as well have some fun, lol.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd say something to her, but be nice and as nonconfrontational as possible - "Hey, MIL, what were you looking for in my purse yesterday? That was sort of an awkward situation. If you need something, tell me and I'll help you get it, ok?"

I like this. Say it or email it to her. And next time hide some anal beads in there with a note "To DH, here are the beads you asked for!"

This is probably the nicest thing you can say to MIL about the incident. But if you don't want to say it to her (honestly, I don't know if I would want to, I'm rather non-confrontational that way) I'd just try to forget about the incident. Let it go; family harmony is worth it.

Family harmony is worth it ONLY if you think this was a one-time, anomalous thing, OP. Do you? Has she snooped before? If this is a pattern, you need to confront her via e-mail as suggested previously (so there is a record, yes), and if your husband doesn't like it, you say:

"It was a violation of my personal property. So I am handling this personally. Frankly, I would have asked you to help me address this issue, but you have a pattern of not backing me up or believing me when it comes to your mother, so you have lost the privledge of me consulting you before standing up for myself."

Anonymous wrote:OP here - thanks for all the input. FWIW, I would not say we are "close". My husband and I have children, and ever since our first was born, it was crystal clear to me that I was perceived as her competition and (shame on her), she liked to put my husband in a spot of choosing. The list is long, but this is confirmed by other family members as well. She knows how to put a face on and be friendly and loving towards me, but she also knows exactly how to create issues for my DH and I. I think she just wants to pressure him to still choose her, its pretty weird. But this is the first time I've "caught" her snooping. Part of me wonders if she was just being nosy and wants to see what her favorite little boy's wife is up to.. I'm leaning towards staging a purse for her.. it will be fun

Anonymous wrote:You could confront her, but it probably won't do any good because she will deny. Going forward, I would never trust her again. All your personal items should be in your bedroom closet or somewhere she doesn't have access to. Get a lock on your closet.