This school is not a good fit for you. If its unbearable, then it would be in the best interest of you and your students for you to find a new job (teaching or not).

I don't say this maliciously. Its just the honest truth. Teaching environments such as yours requires people with a personality to handle it. Not being able to handle it is NOT a bad thing or an indictment on you, or a reflection of weakness vs strength. It just is, and thats okay.

OP here.

Had a meeting today with my principal, who is meeting with all teachers eligible for tenure. He told me he is recommending to discontinue my license in the district, meaning I can teach in the city outside this district but not in it.

I don't want to teach within this district as it is one of the most difficult and low performing, and I can still find another job, but it looks bad and is quite disheartening.

I guess there is nowhere to go but up from this darkness that I feel right now. I just don't know how I'll continue to go there for the next three months. And I need to put my best face forward while applying to jobs, but hard to do when I feel so depressed.

Anonymous wrote:

If you are in the public school system and you have put in 4 years, please be mindful of your pension. It might not make sense to switch to a private school. The pension is one of the best benefits to teachers. You may want to check out how long you need to be in the system to receive one before switching out of the district entirely.

The pension used to be one of the best benefits. Most systems have changed from a defined pension to a 401K type or hybrid system. It is not longer what it once was and nothing is assured going forward. Don't count on anything. If you switch jobs, just start saving aggressively in your 401K. And a Roth IRA.

+1. A pension is not worth having a miserable life.

OP, I'm sorry you are going through this. Hang in there.
My mother was a middle school counselor for most of her career and with this demographic. The kids changed so much during that time. Pressures on kids are so different.
My mom is retired now and she left because she was sick of it.


You are really on the front lines. Having terrible administration that don't have your back is horrible. The tone of behavior should be coming from above and the administration should have your back. This environment sounds toxic. Remember how you were so much better at your old schools with the same population? My mother worked for terrible administrators in her day and it was terrible.

Did the union say you can appeal the rating?

Good luck.

Anonymous wrote:Yike OP! I hope you find a new job quickly, it sounds miserable!!!!

Please don't feel guilty or bad about anything. Life can be good, and yours will get better. In the meantime, just do your best. Concentrate on helping your better students.

Thanks. I am trying to take it day by day and find small joys. -OP

Yike OP! I hope you find a new job quickly, it sounds miserable!!!!

Please don't feel guilty or bad about anything. Life can be good, and yours will get better. In the meantime, just do your best. Concentrate on helping your better students.

OP here. Thanks all. I was successful in the same environment for the three years I was at another school (essentially identical demographics). However, my classes were much smaller there, which makes a big difference. Half of teachers leave within the first five years. It is likely I will be in that group.

Also going through intense personal stuff which is compounding the feelings of hopelessness.

Appreciate the anecdotes and advice.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks PP. I know I have to leave but I need to finish out the year ... Financially I really need to, and I don't want to desert the kids. I cannot go back there in the fall.

I don't even know if the admin u derstands how it affects teachers when they're treated like this. I am teaching one hundred students a day and depressed and uncomfortable. That's not going to help their school.

You have already deserted the kids. If you are so depressed and having difficulty preparing lessons, I doubt you are being an effective teacher, and you are doing a disservice to the kids by staying for your own financial reasons. Maybe the administration is seeing this. If you can't handle the pressure, you aren't doing anyone, including yourself, any favors by staying. You sound like you need counseling/therapy for your depression. Your emotional wellbeing should be your priority at this point.

Teacher here. I'd bet that more than half of teachers suffer from depression, anxiety or a combo of both. This is my 4th year teaching and every year, they have tightened the screws. We have visitors from our district coming the last day of school before Spring Break. They want to dig through our lesson plans and observe and God only knows what else. Oh and our SLOs are due the last day before break along with interims. Good times! My mom asked me what I want for my birthday (in a few weeks) and I said I've love a few days in a sensory deprivation chamber. All of us are dead tired at this point.

visitors from the district? you mean central office? If so, I wouldn't worry.

SLOs are just stupid - and a way around using student data to determine the fate of a teacher.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks PP. I know I have to leave but I need to finish out the year ... Financially I really need to, and I don't want to desert the kids. I cannot go back there in the fall.

I don't even know if the admin u derstands how it affects teachers when they're treated like this. I am teaching one hundred students a day and depressed and uncomfortable. That's not going to help their school.

You have already deserted the kids. If you are so depressed and having difficulty preparing lessons, I doubt you are being an effective teacher, and you are doing a disservice to the kids by staying for your own financial reasons. Maybe the administration is seeing this. If you can't handle the pressure, you aren't doing anyone, including yourself, any favors by staying. You sound like you need counseling/therapy for your depression. Your emotional wellbeing should be your priority at this point.

Teacher here. I'd bet that more than half of teachers suffer from depression, anxiety or a combo of both. This is my 4th year teaching and every year, they have tightened the screws. We have visitors from our district coming the last day of school before Spring Break. They want to dig through our lesson plans and observe and God only knows what else. Oh and our SLOs are due the last day before break along with interims. Good times! My mom asked me what I want for my birthday (in a few weeks) and I said I've love a few days in a sensory deprivation chamber. All of us are dead tired at this point.

I have had a similar experience, only my reviews are glowing, not saying that to self-promote, just saying it can be horrible even with good reviews. I just took another job outside the system and that is what will get me through the next three months. Create your escape plan and everything will feel better.

Not in teaching but I've worked with kids for the last 14 years. In the last 4 years my demographic of kids has changed and it has sucked some of my love of working with kids away. I've realized I'm just not a good fit to work with rich kids. I can deal with their parents just fine but the kids are draining.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks PP. I know I have to leave but I need to finish out the year ... Financially I really need to, and I don't want to desert the kids. I cannot go back there in the fall.

I don't even know if the admin u derstands how it affects teachers when they're treated like this. I am teaching one hundred students a day and depressed and uncomfortable. That's not going to help their school.

You have already deserted the kids. If you are so depressed and having difficulty preparing lessons, I doubt you are being an effective teacher, and you are doing a disservice to the kids by staying for your own financial reasons. Maybe the administration is seeing this. If you can't handle the pressure, you aren't doing anyone, including yourself, any favors by staying. You sound like you need counseling/therapy for your depression. Your emotional wellbeing should be your priority at this point.

Please go back to your cave.

Anonymous wrote:Thanks PP. I know I have to leave but I need to finish out the year ... Financially I really need to, and I don't want to desert the kids. I cannot go back there in the fall.

I don't even know if the admin u derstands how it affects teachers when they're treated like this. I am teaching one hundred students a day and depressed and uncomfortable. That's not going to help their school.

You have already deserted the kids. If you are so depressed and having difficulty preparing lessons, I doubt you are being an effective teacher, and you are doing a disservice to the kids by staying for your own financial reasons. Maybe the administration is seeing this. If you can't handle the pressure, you aren't doing anyone, including yourself, any favors by staying. You sound like you need counseling/therapy for your depression. Your emotional wellbeing should be your priority at this point.

If you are in the public school system and you have put in 4 years, please be mindful of your pension. It might not make sense to switch to a private school. The pension is one of the best benefits to teachers. You may want to check out how long you need to be in the system to receive one before switching out of the district entirely.

The pension used to be one of the best benefits. Most systems have changed from a defined pension to a 401K type or hybrid system. It is not longer what it once was and nothing is assured going forward. Don't count on anything. If you switch jobs, just start saving aggressively in your 401K. And a Roth IRA.

As someone who went to a low income school, I wouldn't wish that hell on any teacher. The general public just doesn't understand what it's like. I was talking to dh about my experiences the other day and he couldn't believe that kids wouldn't listen or behave for a teacher. He was from a small town. I remember watching teachers be beat up, screamed at by physically bigger students and had objects thrown at them. Classes that never got taught because the students wouldn't calm down or stop fighting. Kids that overdosed in class. It was just a complete breakdown of parenting and student behavior, nothing that the teachers did. I remember watching on two separate occasions teachers that cried in our class and one who went on to have a mental breakdown and had to be replaced. When you listen to politicians it's always the teachers fault.

I'm so sorry op! I understand what you're going through and hope you find a solution.